Nate | Barstool Rundown
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00:00So did you only join the military because you just got like horrible grades and you were like,
00:04I have no future. I might as well just go fight overseas. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was a great
00:09question. I thought it was patriotism. You were just like, I have zero options.
00:19Welcome to the rundown. It is Wednesday, January 22nd. Today's episode, pardon my cheesesteak.
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01:14Eagles say probably heading to the Superbowl, you know, something for the whole country can
01:19get in on little cheesesteak action as we sort of the top. Yeah. Yeah. Breaking news. Oh my God.
01:28Huge news in the world of barstool sports. And I would say probably across the country right now.
01:32Yeah. You got to say it with it's with heavy heart. Well, it's with heavy side of my face.
01:38Yeah. Big Evs. Bell's palsy has returned. Who's back of the week. Who's back of the week. Bell's
01:44palsy. My goodness. It never left. Should we let Ev like gloat a little bit, you know, in person?
01:51It'll be harder for him today. No, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. I got the palsy again.
01:59That's what it takes on a national title. I said some people in this room should take notes.
02:03Maybe they'd get one themselves where I'm going to get one this year. I don't think it feels it
02:08doesn't feel as bad as it did the first time. This is also like peak like I can. It's the part where
02:12it's like slowly getting worse. I think this is about where it's at. But I'm already on the
02:16medication. All that's hopefully like two weeks again and I'll start getting back. But yeah,
02:21I'm an actual your job is talking. Yeah, it's a problem. Like you can't really like run for it.
02:27I can't just like hide out for two weeks. Yeah. You said you said this like started up like
02:31yesterday. You know, yeah, I felt it. I knew I knew by last night by like five, six o'clock.
02:36This one's way better, though, to be honest, like not like you getting up all the palsy
02:41after winning a national championship is kind of awesome. I'm floating on a cloud.
02:48I'm a national champion. It never. So Bell's palsy never leaves you.
02:52I think it lingers like Lyme disease. Well, I mean, I think it's just they
02:59because when you have cerebral palsy, you guys have heard of that one. Yeah,
03:03yeah. That's just way more extreme. That doesn't go away. You just have that life.
03:07Yeah. So I don't know if all palsies are like that. Do we think it was triggered by Ohio State?
03:12Without a doubt. Yeah. Does excitement trigger Bell's palsy? Should I search that on Google?
03:19Yeah. But should he have been surprised? This wasn't everyone like, hey, Ohio State's going to
03:22win this game. And then they did. It's kind of anticlimactic to me. Yeah. If you know the outcome,
03:27it shouldn't give you Bell's palsy. Right. Amateur move. Yeah. Again, under such conditions.
03:33That does suck, though. Last night he was here and I was like, damn, man,
03:37that's a struggle to deal with every day. Yeah, it sucks. It says it can be triggered by herpes.
03:43Oh, wow. You didn't hear it from us, but Ev. Yeah, getting that thing.
03:48Hell yeah. Congratulations. Damn. All right. Apparently, it was so bad that the Ohio State
03:56backup quarterback just announced today they're leaving. They're heading to Cal,
03:59Cal State. They said, I can't have a fan like that. Sorry. We hope you get better soon,
04:07bro. Sorry. Kurt Angle says Rikishi once gave him the stink face after taking a dump and not
04:15wiping. Do you know who Rikishi is? I'm guessing like a heel in the world of wrestling.
04:20A super fatso heel. Okay. Is he Samoan or something? Yeah. And he used to like,
04:25there was one dude that he snapped his sternum because he did this move. Do you remember the
04:31move? No, you probably don't. No, I wasn't poor. So he used to get up in like the corner and he
04:38would beat somebody down until they fell flat. And then he would put his hands on the ropes
04:44and jump up and have his big ass go right into their face. Oh, shoot. And then he would smash
04:51them down. He would jump on them too. That's the stink face, right? Yeah. One of them broke his,
04:56he broke his sternum. And so having that, those big old cheeks going in your face, not great.
05:04When he hasn't wiped. I bet that causes bell posse.
05:08I was going to say, I almost didn't believe it at first, because I feel like the more butt crack
05:12you have, the harder it is to get to the source of the pink eye. But this guy's wearing a thong
05:17up there in the ring. That's okay. Maybe he was wiping back to front.
05:21So apparently Kurt Angle was on Chris Van Valle's podcast, and he said Rikishi once
05:27took a shit, didn't wipe before hitting him with the stink face. And I guess what? He got pink eye?
05:32How does he know for sure he didn't wipe? Do you ask? I think if you have an ass in your face,
05:38you know if the guy has wiped or not. And I guess Rikishi was laughing so hard backstage
05:42that he was basically like, yeah, I didn't wipe my butt. Ha ha. Just a goof. Just a goof. And
05:48sometimes people do have lingering poop smell. That's a great point. So there's the stink face
05:57wrestling move, but then isn't there just something called a stink face, which is like,
06:02I don't really know what it looks like, but. Oh yeah. It's kind of like you're mad. You give
06:06somebody the stink face. You give somebody the stink eye, the stink face. Yeah. I've heard it
06:10more stink eye than stink face. If he truly wasn't wiping on purpose, that's diabolical.
06:17He for sure didn't wipe on purpose. He didn't just like, oh, I forgot to wipe today. No,
06:22he was like, I'm going to fuck this guy over. But also that's commitment because it's hard to.
06:26It doesn't feel good to not. Not that I've ever. Just doesn't feel good to not be fully wiped.
06:33That's why I'm a bidet guy. Yeah. When I go to a place like a hotel and I have to use regular,
06:39I hate it. So at my hotel in Turkey, they had a bidet, but I shat all over the little spout
06:46of the bidet. So then if I used it, it would just be spraying shit water back into my ass.
06:51Why'd you do that, Donnie? From my experience. I mean, I just took a normal poop, looked down,
06:55the bidet spout is covered in shit. I think it's just in the wrong place. Am I sitting too far
07:00back on the toilet? I don't think you're supposed to shit into the bidet, dude. No, the one in
07:06Turkey, it was just like a normal toilet, but then it had a bidet spout that you could turn
07:10on after you shit. On the back or from the hole? It was coming from the back of the toilet,
07:16inside the bowl. Oh, so you had some explosive stuff going on? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, that'll
07:22happen. I shat too far back and then it was just gross because then I flushed and all the rest of
07:26my poop was flushed, but then there's just poop still hanging on the bidet for the whole week
07:31in Turkey. I'm glad. That's never been my bidet experience. I'm glad to know that. I'm glad we
07:37took a photo of it. Yeah, yeah, show me. It is unbelievable the amount of photos that he has
07:44like photos for everything. Like, yeah, I took a photo of that. Yeah. No, I mean, let's see because
07:49for a while I was like, has this been happening to you guys? And I think I took a photo, but
07:54no. I did send the group, the ZVT group chat once, I took like the world's smallest poop
07:58and I couldn't help it. Yeah, like a rabbit pedal. But I asked first if it was disrespectful
08:02to your wives for me to send it. And you said, no, it's okay. I don't think my wife thinks I
08:06have like a poop fetish. No. Poop's not the same thing as nude. It's always best to check first.
08:12True. Respectful. Yeah, let's move on. This episode's going to do numbies. I can feel it.
08:17We'll circle back. Yeah. New Orleans is currently having the best time right now in this blizzard
08:23snowstorm that they have going on. The images coming out of like the whole Gulf Coast just
08:27covered in snow is crazy. The South just does not have salt. I'll say that. That seems to be
08:35the major issue whenever it snows down there. I'm from there. Like that's where I'm from. I went to
08:39high school in Pensacola. So like having snow there is unheard of. Like a bunch of my friends
08:45on Instagram still live there and they got seven and a half inches in Pensacola. And I don't think
08:51it's snowed that much since like the thirties. So they don't have plow trucks. They don't have
08:56ice. They have no infrastructure. Lots of the power lines are not rated for like ice storms
09:03and things like that. So while New Orleans is having a great time and a couple people are
09:08skating, there's going to be like widespread damage for sure. But at the same time, though,
09:14still a good time on Bourbon Street. Yeah, Bourbon Street completely froze over and there are people
09:20out playing ice hockey on Bourbon Street, which is a surreal scene to see. And I also have been
09:25become obsessed. My algorithm, I'm a mom, is all parents taking videos of their kids from down
09:32there going out and playing in the snow for the first time. Kids going outside and being like,
09:35oh my God, what the fuck? Which is just really fun. It's awesome. I saw a bunch of people too,
09:41like a bunch of neighbors in New Orleans. Everybody brought their liquor bottles out
09:44into the middle of the street like it was a giant cooler. And just they turned on a car,
09:48like car music really loud. And they were just like having parties out in the snow in the street
09:52because they know how rare it is. So like we're going to make the best of it.
09:55And it's rare for kids to have like a day off in the south unless it's like hurricane related.
10:01Yeah.
10:01So not having like big ass trees down in your yard and just having snow there
10:06is significantly better.
10:07Pretty fun.
10:08Yeah.
10:08Pretty fun.
10:09The highways have to be a disaster though.
10:13Nobody knows how to drive.
10:15No, I like in South Carolina, it snowed once when I was living there. And
10:19I think in a five minute drive, I saw six car accidents.
10:22Oh yeah. I also feel really bad for, I follow somebody who's taken his family
10:26on vacation to Florida this week, like his small kids.
10:29Oh God.
10:30Brutal to get there. And the pool is like covered in snow.
10:32From here or like Pennsylvania, New York?
10:34Yeah, from Pennsylvania.
10:35Oh man.
10:35Yeah. Brutal.
10:36If you're in South Florida though, the Miami area, they didn't get snow, right?
10:40No, I think it stopped around Gainesville.
10:42Okay.
10:42Still probably like colder than usual though, like still prying up. So that sucks. But
10:46as long as it's cleared up by the time Barstool's down there for Super Bowl week, I'll be well.
10:51Up next, you guys, oh, let me hold off on what I was about to say and hop into
10:56Raising Cain's really quick here. Cain's Craveable Chicken Finger Meals rally every
11:01fan together with their cooked to order chicken fingers, crispy crinkle cut fries,
11:06buttery Texas toast, and their signature Cain's sauce. I would drink it by the bucket.
11:10I'm obsessed with Cain's sauce. And don't forget the true MVP of it all, the Raising
11:13Cain's Tailgate. Cain's Chicken Finger Tailgates are the perfect option to feed the whole team
11:18and bring home true victory meal, especially when you add a jug of freshly squeezed lemonade
11:23or freshly brewed iced tea. Go to RaisingCain's.com to plan your game day meal and follow along on
11:31Raising Cain's social channels for all the football fun. Yeah, that place rules.
11:37Timothy Chalamet.
11:38Timothy Chalamet.
11:39Timothy Chalamet. Did you guys see, obviously, the infamous Dune popcorn bucket?
11:45Mm-hmm. Of course.
11:46That many say you can fuck with your penis.
11:49Yeah. I've watched a couple of porns with that going on.
11:52Really? Seems a little sharp.
11:55Yeah.
11:56Timothy Chalamet keeps one under his bed.
12:00Yeah, it's a nice little keepsake.
12:02Does he use it like a pocket pussy, essentially? Like, why would it need to be under his bed?
12:07Of all the places. If something is stored under your bed,
12:11it's either something from your childhood or something you jerk off with.
12:15He's a bit of a jokester, so I think that's what he wants people to think.
12:19Yeah.
12:20I think he knows how to handle the media well.
12:24He knows what he's doing.
12:25Yeah.
12:26He knows what he's doing.
12:28He knows what the people want to hear. If he gets asked a question, oh,
12:32do you have one of those popcorn buckets? Most people are going to be like, oh, no,
12:36I never got one. He gave the perfect answer. I got one under my bed.
12:42Yeah, and it's nice to know that celebrities are like us and they jerk off too.
12:48Yeah, I find that very refreshing. Especially, yeah, there it is.
12:51Yeah, you don't keep that under your bed for no reason.
12:53It's more like anal because there's spokes.
12:56Yeah, I mean, but what's the diameter there? I think you'd need a pretty large hog.
13:00Yeah, good for Timothy.
13:01To get good friction with that.
13:03Shout out to the Axe, 6.25 average penis size.
13:08That is big.
13:08That is a big popcorn bucket. That is an odd...
13:12That might be the most unique popcorn bucket of all time. But anyway, good for him.
13:17Also, he's dating Kylie Jenner.
13:19Yeah.
13:20Double good for him.
13:21That might be like a popcorn bucket.
13:22Yeah, he's got to be top three coolest white boys at the moment.
13:26I thought he was kind of a nerd.
13:27Tom Holland.
13:28But that...
13:30Yeah.
13:31He's up there. He's up there. But good for him.
13:33Yeah, I thought he was a nerd before I had even seen anything he had been in just from his name.
13:40I was like, this guy has to be the biggest loser ever. Timothy Chalamet.
13:44And then, honestly, Dune may have been the first movie I saw him in.
13:48I was like, you know what? I think he kind of crushes this role.
13:51Willy Wonka, he's good.
13:52I want to see the Bob Dylan movie.
13:54Yeah, I've heard he's good.
13:55Bob Dylan movie is good. The acting in it is so good.
13:58Portnoy had a tweet where he's like, there's no real conflict. It's like him going against
14:02big folk music. And the craziest thing he does is he plays an electric guitar
14:07at the Newport Folk Festival and people lose their fucking mind.
14:10Yeah.
14:10And so, yeah, there's not a big conflict where you watch some biopics. They're like,
14:16their older brother dies or something, or they're drug addicts. And there's none of that. He just
14:23played the electric guitar at a folk festival.
14:25Yeah. I heard people were screaming Judas or whatever. Yeah. I can't wait to see it, I guess.
14:30The only thing I keep under my bed is a broken off golf club. And I have a feeling that if I
14:34were to try and use it on somebody breaking into the house, they would just grab it and use it on
14:38me.
14:38Broken off golf club?
14:40Yeah, it's real sharp where it's broken off so you can stab somebody with it.
14:44Oh, stab. Yeah.
14:45Anyway, the luckiest 11 year old in the world finds an extremely valuable one of one Paul
14:50Skeen's rookie debut patch baseball card. And a date with Livvy Dunn is now on deck.
14:56I'm weird. I'll just say I'm weirded out by all the young kids,
15:00tweens doing the date and Livvy Dunn thing.
15:02Yeah.
15:02Baby Gronk, I'm over it. But the finding the card thing is cool as hell.
15:06I think that's really neat.
15:07I do too.
15:08Livvy Dunn, you're still very hot.
15:10So is Livvy Dunn a big Pittsburgh Pirates fan?
15:13Yeah. She's been dating Paul Skeen for a long time.
15:16Oh, yeah.
15:16Yes. Yeah.
15:18Forgot about that.
15:19This was really cool, though. I know your kid's a baseball card collector, right?
15:23Yeah. I feel like kids that are really into it. And I think I saw the video.
15:30Maybe it was a different thing, but of the kid going through and like
15:33opening the cards or whatever and finding. But doesn't he get, what does he see?
15:36Two Pirate season tickets behind home plate for the next 30 years.
15:42Meet and greet with Paul Skeen's, two Paul Skeen's autographed jerseys,
15:46softball game for 30 at PNC Park with coaching from Pirates alumni.
15:50That's awesome.
15:52Private tour of Pirate City and Lemco Park and more unique experiences like that.
15:57That's got to be a multi-million. I mean, if you have tickets behind home plate
16:04for 81 games a year, times that by 30. So you have 2400 games that you're going to play.
16:12And let's say on the cheap side, it's going to be $100. It will be way more.
16:18So you have $240,000 that you're getting.
16:22But the kid has to give up the Paul Skeen's one of one rookie debut patch autograph card.
16:26In exchange, would you do it?
16:28Yes, 1000% yes. Because you could sell all of those on our good friends at game time.
16:35Oh yeah.
16:36For way more. Like you would get more money.
16:39Still a great deal with game time, absolutely.
16:41I mean, because you got to, if you keep the card,
16:44you got to assume that he's not going to have any major injuries in like the next 10 years.
16:49Because if he gets super hurt and sucks, that value of that card goes dramatically down.
16:55But the pirate season tickets will not go down. That's just going to go up.
17:00So like the return of investment has to be better if you get rid of the card.
17:05So did, I don't understand how baseball cards work.
17:08So they just made one of these cards.
17:10Yeah.
17:11It was kind of like a Willy Wonka golden ticket.
17:13Boom. Okay.
17:13Yep. Just like that.
17:14Josh Timothee Chalamet.
17:15Josh Timothee Chalamet. Yeah. So I don't know. Did it say,
17:19is this 11 year old collector from the Pittsburgh area? Does he even give a crap about Pittsburgh?
17:24If this was me and my kid, I'd be like, we're moving to Pittsburgh.
17:27We're moving to Pittsburgh. We're becoming yinzers.
17:29We're going to go down the deli, get some chip damn.
17:32We had on Drop a Pin, we had Frank the Tank on for our getting cultured segment.
17:36We asked him what his favorite city in the United States was.
17:39Pittsburgh.
17:40The Paris of Appalachia.
17:41I'll be damned.
17:43I will say I applied to University of Pittsburgh when I was in high school
17:48and I didn't get into the main campus.
17:50And I've kind of hated Pittsburgh ever since.
17:51What's the non?
17:52Greensburg.
17:54What's the acceptance rate at University of Pittsburgh?
17:58Pretty high.
18:00Pretty fucking high. Yeah.
18:02I thought it was a really good school.
18:03It's a good school, but-
18:05University of Pittsburgh?
18:06Can we look that up, Stephanie? I think it's probably like-
18:07Yeah. Tell me if I'm a loser or not.
18:08Acceptance rate at Pitt.
18:10It's gotta be.
18:10I would bet 35. 35%.
18:13No. I am taking the over on that.
18:15Okay.
18:17Come on. Be low.
18:1849.
18:20Yeah. No, that's high.
18:21That's tough.
18:22Especially in-state.
18:23I was an in-state kid.
18:24Oh, man. Come on, Kate.
18:26Pretty brutal.
18:27I got into my school. It has 89% acceptance rate, which is great.
18:30Congratulations.
18:31So did you only join the military because you just got horrible grades
18:35and you were like, I have no future.
18:37I might as well just go fight overseas?
18:39Yeah, dude. Yeah.
18:40Okay. I thought it was-
18:41That's a great question.
18:41That's a great question.
18:42I thought it was patriotism.
18:43No, dude. No.
18:44You were just like-
18:45I love this country.
18:46You were like, I have zero options.
18:47No, my parents were like, you sure as fuck cannot move back here.
18:50And I was like, uh-oh.
18:52She woke up in the back of too many trucks.
18:53Yeah, she did.
18:54For that story.
18:55Because you didn't get into University of Pittsburgh.
18:56Too many nosebeards, yeah.
18:57Woke up in West Virginia once.
18:59God bless the USA.
19:01True.
19:02And congrats to this child.
19:03That's really awesome.
19:04Oh, Los Angeles, California.
19:07You got to keep it.
19:08You got to keep it because you're going to sell them.
19:11Also, Paul Skeens.
19:12Don't have to bring up the act again.
19:14He did our gauntlet.
19:14Did very well.
19:15Oh, yeah.
19:16No, he didn't.
19:17I thought he did really shitty.
19:18No, he did okay.
19:19Not for Paul Skeens, he didn't do as well.
19:21I mean, for that guy, you would think he'd be more athletic.
19:25That had to be like the coolest moment of this kid's life, though.
19:28Pretty cool.
19:29Skeens doing the act?
19:31Doing the gauntlet?
19:32Yeah.
19:32Or the child.
19:33Oh, I guess the kid finding the one-of-one card too, though.
19:35Yeah, that's pretty sick.
19:37So, also, I have one other question.
19:39Could this kid sell the card to somebody else?
19:42Like who lives in Pittsburgh, who then exchanges it?
19:44Probably not.
19:44Probably not.
19:45No transfers.
19:46Yeah.
19:47All right.
19:48Well, that's super cool.
19:49You guys want to talk about Big Ev again?
19:51I was just thinking that.
19:52That's a bummer.
19:53Yeah.
19:54It's a bummer.
19:55Poor Big Ev.
19:56But I feel like he got his win, so you can't feel that bad for him.
19:59So, how did it come out that it has returned?
20:02Did you see a video of him today?
20:03How did it come out?
20:04He walked into the office and everyone was like,
20:06Oh, and his face was lopsided?
20:08Yeah.
20:09That's got to suck.
20:10Yeah.
20:10You go into work and you're all, listen.
20:12Look at your stupid-ass face.
20:13I'm pretty sure dudes-
20:13In terms of palsies, it's probably one of the better palsies to have.
20:17It's a top three palsy for sure.
20:20How many palsies are there though?
20:21Oh, there's-
20:22I think there's only three.
20:24We don't have time.
20:24We don't have time to break down all the palsies.
20:27Anything else for the after show?
20:30Baldstool will be coming out soon.
20:32I'm thinking videos will drop every Monday and Wednesday,
20:37or at least every Wednesday after the Super Bowl.
20:40We usually have a lot of content coming out in the lead up to the Super Bowl.
20:45And then that month afterwards is so quiet.
20:47I figured I would wait until then.
20:49Smart.
20:50That's very smart.
20:53Trying to think what else we have.
20:55Next time I'll be on here will be post.
20:56We're doing another case race on the Yak.
20:58I'm dreading it.
21:00Dreading it with all my heart and soul.
21:02It's always fun in the moment, but the next day is just so brutal.
21:08I did the last case race and going into it, I was like,
21:10you can't black out on beer.
21:12Sure can.
21:13You sure can.
21:15I came to in my shower at 4 a.m. the following morning.
21:19And I think I just woke up because I had horrendous heartburn.
21:23Took a shower thinking that would cure it.
21:25It did not.
21:26And then ordered a bunch of Wendy's.
21:28And that also did not cure the heartburn.
21:32But yeah, the following day I was a corpse of a human.
21:35Yeah, it's tough.
21:37I'm on a team with PFT and Dana Beers.
21:39And I was like, oh, wow, it'll be fun to have Dana Beers on one.
21:42We haven't had him on a case race in a while.
21:43And they were like, Kate, he was on your team in the last case race.
21:46And I was like, oh, damn.
21:48So yeah, really looking forward to the event itself.
21:51Not so much the after.
21:54I was not invited back, maybe because I puked all over the shower and didn't clean it up.
21:58Yeah, you went to shower.
21:58Yeah, that's right.
22:00I didn't do that on purpose.
22:01I had zero recollection of that even happening.
22:04And then people had to look at the tape.
22:06And all of a sudden, I disappeared for 10 minutes and come back soaking wet with most
22:10of my clothes off or all my face paint had washed up.
22:13So that's how they put two and two together.
22:16Did you have to take a shower?
22:18No, I really had to puke.
22:20And I figure if I go and puke in the shower, then I don't like that's a safe space to puke,
22:26I guess.
22:27Yeah.
22:27I don't know.
22:28No, everything is firing off.
22:29That makes sense.
22:30Yeah, then it's like I could leak from whatever hole I had to.
22:35Unlike a toilet.
22:36Yeah, well, like a toilet.
22:38Where you can simply flush it.
22:39But a toilet, you don't know if you're like, I don't know.
22:42I just needed like a quiet space.
22:45Yeah, yeah.
22:46I understand.
22:47Yep.
22:48Happens.
22:50Happens.
22:51Anything else?
22:51What's new on Drop A Pin?
22:54We had Biz Nasty.
22:55We had Biz Nasty on and Stu Finer.
22:57Yeah, to announce a new hiking show I'm doing with Biz.
23:00It's called Peeking with Don and Biz.
23:02I loved your trip to the Smokies.
23:04Yeah.
23:04Great photographs out of that.
23:06We got some two solid videos from that trip coming out.
23:09All right.
23:10And listen to Drop A Pin every Monday.
23:12We got Brandon Walker coming on soon.
23:14We're doing an episode on Mississippi.
23:16Next week's a dude who spent five, six and a half years,
23:19six years in a Philippine prison for a charge that he didn't do.
23:22Didn't have any type of really representation, crazy story.
23:27That's what I love about the pod.
23:28We can go from like a really traumatic story like that
23:31to just making fun of Brandon Walker for being from Mississippi or Stu Finer.
23:36To give you an idea, Stu's first question to us was,
23:39how's the pussy in Israel?
23:41We all need to know.
23:43That sounds great.
23:43And you find out this week on Drop A Pin.
23:45Tune in.
23:46That's a rundown.
23:47That's a rundown.