Not Rated | 30min | Comedy,TV Series | Episode aired 26 February 1956
Jack is so mad at Rochester for falling asleep during his show, he sends him to his room without dinner.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sam Perrin, George Balzer, Al Gordon, Hal Goldman
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Mary Livingstone
Jack is so mad at Rochester for falling asleep during his show, he sends him to his room without dinner.
Director: Ralph Levy
Writers: Sam Perrin, George Balzer, Al Gordon, Hal Goldman
Stars: Jack Benny, Eddie 'Rochester' Anderson, Mary Livingstone
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The Jack Benny Program.
00:06Uh-oh. Mr. Benny be through with his rehearsal. I better get his make-up ready.
00:10Oh, for heaven's sakes. I can't do anything.
00:14Hello? Yeah, this is Mr. Benny's dressing room.
00:18Now, I'm sorry, you can't talk to him now. He's rehearsing.
00:22He's rehearsing. I said he was rehearsing!
00:26What do you think, he ad-libs all that stuff?
00:34Telegram for Mr. Benny. I'll take it, boy.
00:38Don't go away. I want to give you a tip. Where's Mr. Benny's pants? Oh, there they are.
00:42I should know where they are.
00:46Here you are. A quarter. Thanks.
00:50So long.
00:56Boy, I'm tired.
01:00How was the rehearsal, Mr. Benny? Oh, fine, fine.
01:04Joe, give me my pants, will you? You know, before a show, I get so nervous.
01:08Here.
01:12I wonder if I need a shave. Uh, here they are, Mr. Benny. Here's your pants.
01:16Oh, thanks. Now, Joey. Yes, sir? As I said before,
01:20I'm going to rehearse with Mr. Benny.
01:24Joey. Yes, sir? As I said before...
01:32Joey.
01:36Who took a quarter out of my pants?
01:44I did. I gave it to the telegram boy.
01:48The telegram was for you, so naturally I tipped him with your money.
01:52How do I know you tipped by weight?
01:56All right, just go, will you?
02:00All right, I'll go. You're such a stingy.
02:08Hmm. I wonder who this wire's from.
02:12Dear Mr. Benny, we want to thank you very much
02:16for sending us your orchestra. We're holding them over two more weeks.
02:20The Happy Valley Sanitarium.
02:24Gee, two more weeks.
02:28I'll hardly recognize the boys.
02:32Every time they dry them out, they come back two inches shorter.
02:36Oh, well. Come in.
02:40Hi, Mary. Hi.
02:44Well, we'll be on the air pretty soon.
02:48Do you like your part? Well, most of it, Jack,
02:52but there's something I'd like to talk to you about. What is it?
02:56Well, you know, I've been working for you for a very long time,
03:00and I think without a doubt you're one of the great talents of the American theater.
03:04Not only are you suave, debonair, and sophisticated,
03:08but you're also versatile in dramatics, and without a doubt
03:12the dean of American comedy. Oh, well, thank you, Mary.
03:16Now, what is it you wanted to talk to me about? That line.
03:20Don't you think it's too long for my opening speech?
03:24For heaven's sakes, Mary, I put that in myself
03:28just to show off my other qualities. I'm sick and tired of my
03:32writers always making me a cheap and stingy character. Jack, don't blame
03:36it on your writers. You are parsimonious, and you know it.
03:40Parsimonious? What's that? It's a high class word meaning
03:44open up your wallet and let the sunshine in.
03:48Miss Livingston, if you're insinuating
03:52what I think you are, then you should have been here just a little while ago
03:56when that Western Union boy came in. What do you think I tipped him?
04:00An ounce and a half.
04:04How'd you know? Joey told me.
04:08That blabber mouth.
04:12Hey, Mary, do me a favor, will you? Sure. Put my links in here.
04:16Okay. Thanks.
04:20Come in.
04:24Hiya, kids. Hi, Bob. Come on in.
04:28Thought you might like some soft drinks.
04:32Oh, thanks. Thanks, Bob. Say, Jack, could I borrow your powder?
04:36Yeah, here. Here you are, Bob.
04:40Say, Jack, about that song that Mary and I are going to do on the show today, how much time
04:44are you going to allow us? Oh, about two, two and a half minutes. Have you got a good arrangement of it?
04:48Not the best. Made by one of the boys up at Happy Valley. Oh, good, good.
04:52Yeah, Remley brought it to me this morning. Remley?
04:56Remley's out of the sanitarium? I mean, how did he get over the wall?
05:00He didn't have to. He's got a corkscrew that goes right through cement.
05:04No kidding. Yeah, one of his kids gave it to him for Father's Day.
05:08Remley must have been surprised.
05:12Yeah, he didn't know he had that kid.
05:16Well, here's your shirt, Jack. Oh, thanks, Mary.
05:20You know, I've been thinking about that number that Bob and I are going to do.
05:24Mm-hmm. Oh, I don't think I want to be in it. Why not?
05:28Well, singing out in front of so many people makes me awfully nervous.
05:32Oh, for heaven's sakes, Mary. Look how many times I've walked out on the stage
05:36in front of people with my violin. And I'm certainly no Heifetz
05:40or Isaac Stern or a Mishelman.
05:44You can throw Spade Cooley in there, too.
05:48Oh, quiet. Look, Mary, if you're worried about the song,
05:52why don't you and Bob run over it right now? Now? Certainly. We've got plenty of time.
05:56And look, Bob, here's the way I'm going to introduce it.
06:00And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mary Livingston is going to sing.
06:04And with her is my guest star, that very charming
06:08and talented and popular young man, Mr. Bob Crosby.
06:12I like New York in June.
06:16How about you?
06:20I like a Gershwin tune.
06:24How about you?
06:28A fireside when a storm is due.
06:32I like potato chips, moonlight, and motor trips.
06:36How about you?
06:40I'm mad about good books can't get my fill.
06:44The way young lovers
06:48look gives me a thrill.
06:52Holding hands in a movie show when all the lights are low
06:56may not be new, but I
07:00like it. How about you?
07:04I'm fond of
07:08artichokes. How about you?
07:12Jack Benny's corny jokes.
07:16How about you?
07:20I like to window shop on the avenue.
07:24I like the human race, opera, and
07:28bouillabaisse. How about you?
07:32I'd like a pizza pie.
07:36I'm hungry too.
07:40I wonder who will buy. I wish I knew.
07:44Let's be fair. Let's be sociable.
07:48I'm not negotiable. We know that's true.
07:52But we like it. How about
07:56you?
08:00I told you Mary was going to be fun.
08:04Well, I've got to go change my clothes.
08:08Mary will be a few minutes before the show.
08:12We'll relax a little bit.
08:16I hope the show is good.
08:20Mom watches every show I'm on.
08:24How is your mother?
08:28Hurry!
08:32We haven't got as much time as I thought.
08:36I hope the song is good.
08:40Mom is my critic.
08:44I rush home to find out what Rochester thought of it.
08:48He's a good judge of material.
08:52I go by everything he says.
08:56Don't be nervous.
09:00I hope Rochester likes the show.
09:18There's the door.
09:22There's the door.
09:26Come in.
09:30Why do you always have to repeat everything you hear?
09:34I'm just straightening up a little bit.
09:38Give me a hand.
09:42I just dropped in to see if you're still going on our little camping trip tomorrow.
09:46I sure am.
09:50You know, it isn't very often that I get two days off.
09:54I wouldn't miss it.
09:58Where are we going?
10:02We'll only have cold water.
10:06Sounds good to me.
10:10I have to put this thing away.
10:14Rochester, what kind of gadget is this?
10:18Oh, a little secret of mine.
10:22I made it at Sam's Bicycle Shop.
10:26I can clean the whole house in 20 minutes.
10:30Only 20 minutes? What do you do in your spare time?
10:34What did you say?
10:38I said, what do you do with your spare time?
10:42Well, I got to be running along now. I'll see you in the morning.
10:46And don't be late.
10:50Oh, don't worry. I'm going to pack tonight.
10:54Say, Roy, how much food should we take along with us?
10:58Well, we're not going to take any food. There's a lot of game up there.
11:02If we get hungry, we'll take our guns and go out and shoot something.
11:06Sure sounds exciting. Well, see you in the morning.
11:10That would work.
11:14Sam's Bicycle Shop, Sam's Bicycle Shop.
11:18Polly, if you repeat one word of this in front of Mr. Benny,
11:22I'm going to take a pair of tweezers and pluck your eyebrows all the way down.
11:26Now remember that.
11:30For all the time it is.
11:34It's almost time for Mr. Benny's television show. I'd better get set to watch it.
11:38Turn it on, turn it on. I will, I will.
11:42Sam's Bicycle Shop. Polly, forget about that.
11:56The Jack Benny Program.
12:00Thank you, thank you, thank you, and good evening.
12:08Which way did they go, Sheriff?
12:12They went that-a-way.
12:16Oh, my goodness, I fell asleep and missed the whole show.
12:24This is awful.
12:28If Mr. Benny ever finds out that I fell asleep during this program,
12:36he'll put me in iron bars and put me in jail.
12:40If Mr. Benny ever finds out that I fell asleep during this program,
12:46he'll put me in irons and hang me from the highest yard arm.
12:50Boy, how he hands it up.
12:58Mr. Christian, come here.
13:04Boy, I don't want to go through that again.
13:08Hello again, Mr. Jack Benny.
13:12Polly, you heard what they said on Mr. Benny's show,
13:16and you can help me out of a spot.
13:20Tell me, what did they say on Mr. Benny's show? Tell me, what did they talk about?
13:24You know, you always repeat everything you hear.
13:28Now tell me, what did they talk about on Mr. Benny's show?
13:32That's it.
13:36Who was it, Polly? Who was it?
13:40That charming, that talented.
13:44That popular.
13:48Polly, who was it?
13:52That popular who?
13:56Uh-oh, there's Mr. Benny.
14:00I better hurry and get this room straightened up.
14:06Well, Rochester, what did you think of my show?
14:12Well...
14:16Well, would you like me to fix you a sandwich?
14:20No, I don't want a sandwich, Rochester.
14:24Tell me, what did you think of my show? I mean, did you find it entertaining?
14:28Well... I mean, did it hold you?
14:32Boss, I didn't move out of that chair.
14:36Look, I better go fix you the sandwich. Rochester, come back here.
14:44Now look, this is important. You see, I can't improve my shows unless I get an honest opinion.
14:48Now tell me the truth, Rochester. Did you really like it?
14:52Boss, while your show was on, I didn't see anything I didn't like.
14:56Huh?
15:00That's about as honest as I can make it.
15:04Thanks.
15:08Hello, Polly. Now Rochester, you see, you've given me
15:12an overall opinion of the show, but which part, let's say, did you like best?
15:16Which part of the show?
15:20Well, I especially liked the way you introduced your guest star.
15:24That charming, that popular...
15:28That was class, boss. Real class.
15:32Yeah, yeah.
15:36Now shall I fix you that sandwich?
15:40Oh, here's today's paper.
15:44I like New York in June.
15:48How about you?
15:52I'm sure glad we had it on our program today.
15:56I like a Gershwin tune.
16:00How about you?
16:04Boss, that song you're humming is one of my favorites.
16:08It is? Uh-huh. But I haven't heard it in a long time.
16:12Well...
16:16Rochester,
16:20you said you haven't heard that song in a long time?
16:24Not for at least three or four weeks.
16:28Hmm.
16:36Rochester,
16:40you didn't watch my television show today, did you?
16:44Well...
16:48Did you or did you not watch my television show?
16:52Rochester.
16:56Well, you see, boss, it was this way.
17:00What were you doing while my show was on?
17:08Oh, so that's it.
17:12Thanks.
17:16You were asleep, weren't you?
17:20Well, boss, I turned on the set, and then I made myself so comfortable
17:24I fell asleep.
17:28Rochester, if you must sleep during a television show, why does it have to be mine?
17:32Why don't you sleep when Bob Hope is on?
17:36I tried that, but the laughs kept waking me up.
17:40Oh, the laughs kept waking you up, huh?
17:44But during my program...
17:48That's it.
17:52Imagine missing my program. The one person I depended upon.
17:56But, boss... Don't but boss me.
18:00There's no excuse for missing my show, Rochester.
18:04Can I get you some coffee?
18:08I don't want any coffee. You can go to your room.
18:12But I gotta start fixing dinner.
18:16I'll prepare my own dinner. And as for you, you can stay in your room without dinner.
18:20Now go.
18:24But, boss... Go.
18:38Hello?
18:42Hello, Jack. This is Mary.
18:46Oh, hello, Mary.
18:50Jack, I just had to call you. You know, the funniest thing happened.
18:54What?
18:58Well, you know how anxious I was to find out how Mama liked the show?
19:02Yeah.
19:06Isn't that funny?
19:10Funny? I don't think it's funny.
19:14Oh, Jack, you're just an old, old fuddy-duddy.
19:18Fuddy-duddy?
19:22Well, Jack, I've gotta go now. I have to pick some lamb chops for Mama.
19:26What? You mean your mother missed the program and you're not sending her to her room without her dinner?
19:30I don't know what you're talking about, but I gotta go now. Bye.
19:34Bye.
19:38You're a fuddy-duddy.
19:42Fuddy-duddy. Fuddy-duddy.
19:46Fuddy-duddy.
19:50Blue-eyed fuddy-duddy.
19:58Well, maybe Mary was right.
20:02Falling asleep and missing the program.
20:06I don't think the boss will be mad at me very long.
20:10By the time I get back in Roy's cabin, he'll be all over it.
20:14I don't know why I got so upset with Rochester.
20:18I'm going to his room and tell him to forget it.
20:26Rochester, I just thought the whole thing over.
20:30And it's... Rochester.
20:34Rochester, what are you doing?
20:36I'm packing.
20:38Packing?
20:40Yeah, I'm leaving in the morning.
20:42Look, Rochester, if I said anything to hurt your feelings, I'm terribly sorry.
20:48I mean, can I help it if I'm an old fuddy-duddy?
20:54It isn't so terrible that you fell asleep during my program.
20:58Gee, I fell asleep once and I was on it.
21:06Look, Rochester, after all these years, don't leave me.
21:10I mean, don't walk out on me.
21:14Walk out?
21:18Rochester, look, if anything ever happened to you, I'd never forgive myself.
21:22I mean, Rochester, look, what are you going to do?
21:26What are you going to do? I mean, where are you going to go?
21:30Oh, I don't know.
21:34I'll just wander around and probably end up at some cabin in the mountains.
21:42But, Rochester, it'll be cold up there. It might even be snowing.
21:46I know.
21:48And I'll probably have to chop wood and keep warm.
21:52There won't be anything but cold water.
21:54So what are you going to eat?
21:58Don't worry. I'll take my gun along.
22:02And if I get real hungry, I'll shoot something.
22:06Rochester, I told you, I'm sorry for what I did.
22:10And believe me, I'll make it up to you.
22:14Look, I'll give you extra vacations. I'll give you a labor day off.
22:18With pay. I'll even put a window in your room.
22:22And, Rochester, you know what else I'm going to do?
22:26I'm going right in the kitchen now and make you a nice big dinner.
22:30Now, what would you like?
22:32Well, I am kind of hungry.
22:34Of course you are. You know what I'll do?
22:36I'll make you a nice big steak.
22:38You know, with mashed potatoes and gravy and hot biscuits.
22:42Oh, you just wait right here. I'll be right back.
22:46And when you taste that steak, it's delicious.
22:50Looks good.
22:52Never mind. I'll get it. I'll get it.
22:56Hello?
22:58Rochester, it's for you.
23:00Uh, just take a message, please.
23:04Uh, I'll take a message.
23:06Yes, Roy.
23:10Yes.
23:14Mm-hmm.
23:16Mm-hmm.
23:18Yes. Yes. Yes. He's all right.
23:22Yes, he's going to leave with you in the morning.
23:25Mm-hmm.
23:27Yeah, goodbye, Roy.