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00:09it has recently come to my attention that I may never again have power over
00:15another human being my students who once fell over themselves to impress me now
00:28consider my teachings out of touch my daughter who used to worship me now finds
00:40my entire personhood rather useless and while it may be possible that a man might
00:48make a concession for me I may not be the cause of the spontaneous erection ever
00:57again as an older woman truly what is more embarrassing I will have lost the
01:03ability to captivate
01:16I find this very sad don't you
01:26sorry
01:41we're making a harvest salad for the faculty retreat it'll be my 30th year at the college and
01:48thus will be my 30th faculty retreat but I came in utero so it's a real fuck you salad
02:00the kind that makes everyone a bit embarrassed about what they brought
02:03yeah just not this one yeah thank you
02:33Today might be fun. There is a bit of a sex scandal.
02:37Liaisons between a professor and his students.
02:46And as luck would have it,
02:49the professor in question happens to be my husband.
02:56Okay. And the Title IX situation.
03:00Andre, you have an update?
03:04Okay. Without beating around the bush,
03:07the number of accusers has risen to six.
03:10Six young women. Or, they're not as young anymore.
03:14And the number of signatures on the petition demanding for John's removal is...
03:19Wow. Over 1,000 with alumni support.
03:21What?
03:22When I was in college, I wanted to fuck all my professors.
03:26Old, young, male, female.
03:28But I was too timid.
03:32As George Bernard Shaw once said,
03:35a firm ass is wasted on the young.
03:41Here we are.
03:43Did I tell you once I walked into his office ages ago,
03:47and boom, there was a girl with her bosom all over his face, like...
03:53What's that called again?
03:54Being a sexual predator?
03:55It was a different time.
03:57Was it?
03:58Sweetie, was it now?
03:59No.
04:00It was different.
04:00Guys, let's not say...
04:02Oh, waterboarding.
04:03No, it was not waterboarding.
04:04I think motorboarding is the correct term.
04:06What? No.
04:07It's motorboarding.
04:08I'm looking it up.
04:08Motorboarding. All one word.
04:10Folks, let's just nod.
04:14Okay.
04:16Let's go in.
04:19Jaw and suspension will remain in effect until the hearing.
04:22Date TBD.
04:23There's a report being assembled.
04:25But I want to congratulate David on stepping in as our chair so quickly.
04:31You're doing super.
04:32Huzzah for David?
04:33Go, David.
04:34Motorboating is the act of pushing one's face in between two ample breasts
04:38and rocking one's head side to side very rapidly
04:41while making a vigorous brrr sound.
04:46I present to you academia.
04:49Okay.
04:50There might be something in the...
04:51Oh, my friends, I'm so sorry.
04:52I had the wrong time.
04:53I can't believe it.
04:54We were just moving on.
04:56Carry on.
04:57David, is there an extra chair or...
05:00Hey, excuse me.
05:02Take mine.
05:03I forget.
05:04Have you met Vladimir Vladinsky?
05:07Oh, our new assistant professor?
05:13No.
05:13No, we have not met.
05:16Please, sit.
05:18Oh, I'm fine.
05:19Well, I need to stand for my back.
05:21Plus seniority.
05:23Well, I'll pretend you didn't say that last part, but...
05:28Okay, and moving on.
05:30I meant from an employment standpoint.
05:32Oh, I'm joking.
05:34We still need two more volunteers for the Meckleburgs.
05:37How are your groceries?
05:39Oh, put away.
05:40Page six is the values of our English department.
05:44Be respectful.
05:46Bad luck to leave your back on the floor.
05:50Be concise.
05:51Maintain confidentiality.
05:53Engage constructively.
05:54Maintain perspectives.
05:56Any questions?
05:58The more you say.
06:10Oh, they went crazy for my salad.
06:13Devoured it, so...
06:15Ooh, David's Frito pie.
06:18Do you want some?
06:20I'm no go on gluten, unfortunately.
06:22Do you suffer from celiacs?
06:24My son's friend suffers from celiacs.
06:26More like body dysmorphia.
06:32Thank you again for the chair.
06:34Oh, it's my pleasure.
06:35They say sitting kills.
06:36Oh, so I've heard.
06:38Have you tried one of those standing desks?
06:40No, but I should.
06:41Shouldn't I?
06:42I don't know.
06:43Should you?
06:43Might be good for my quads.
06:45Oh.
06:49How are you adjusting to life in the countryside?
06:52To be honest, I'm really struggling.
06:54Oh, my God.
06:56Oh, hey.
06:58Oh, my God.
06:59Uh, hi, hi, hi.
07:01I'm Cynthia.
07:02Oh, you're teaching for us, too, right?
07:05Yeah, she's got one class.
07:06Hi.
07:07Uh, I fucking love your novel.
07:09Truly fucking formative.
07:11I've been so excited to meet you.
07:12Oh, well, I'm a big disappointment.
07:15Fun.
07:16Me, too.
07:17Sorry, I would have been here sooner,
07:19but our daughter defecated inside of her clothing.
07:23Oh, no.
07:24I've been telling him that he has to read your book.
07:27Well, I haven't read his book yet, so we're even.
07:29Yeah, it's not as good as yours.
07:31Oh, well, thank you.
07:32Well, why don't you come over for cocktails sometime this week,
07:35and we can swap copies.
07:38Both of you.
07:39Oh, yeah.
07:39Yeah, I don't drink, but he loves to when I'm not around.
07:43Well, we don't have to drink.
07:44Oh, no, no, no.
07:45I very much, I want him to drink.
07:47It's good for him.
07:48Yeah.
07:49Oops.
07:50Oh, sorry.
07:50Sorry.
07:51May I borrow these two for one moment?
07:53Oh, yes, I'll send you an email.
07:55Okay.
07:55Yeah.
07:56Since Vladimir's full-time, this will affect him more than you.
07:59There's just some 401k paperwork.
08:23Be good.
08:30Hey...
08:30I have a question.
08:32I might have an answer.
08:34Did you actually see the report?
08:37Sure did.
08:39Will you send it to me?
08:43Please?
08:46Okay.
08:47Thanks.
08:49Oh, joy.
08:51Oh.
08:52Oh.
09:19Scandalous.
09:36It's very hard for me to understand how...
09:39Would you salt these?
09:40Yes.
09:43Consensual affairs that were fun.
09:46Not despite the power dynamic, but because of the power dynamic, could be thought of as
09:51hurtful or damaging after the fact.
09:54Could you put something else on them?
09:56Human.
09:57Oh, fuck.
09:59As a fellow female, I'm a little offended.
10:03I want to tell these women that when they're sad, it's probably not because of the sex they
10:09had, and more because they spend too much time on the internet wondering what people think
10:13about them.
10:14Fresh meats.
10:16Here we go.
10:19Here we go.
10:22Here we go.
10:37Do you think you could come up?
10:38Do you think you could deal with the compost before next Sunday?
10:41No!
10:41Move it along, buddy!
10:43They need to read the letter.
10:45It's been 10 years since I even looked at a co-ed.
10:48Are we in the 1960s?
10:49Why are you calling them co-eds?
10:52Oh, and they're setting a date for the hearing.
10:54Good.
10:54Because I never broke the rules.
10:56Technically.
10:58Exactly.
11:00Could you bring me a towel, please?
11:06You didn't answer.
11:07Can you deal with the compost before next Sunday?
11:11Maybe.
11:12Did you meet the new professors?
11:13Our replacements?
11:14They're not our replacements.
11:16Let's hope.
11:18Anyway, yes, I met them.
11:19They are young and fresh-faced and full of promise.
11:22We'll beat that at them.
11:24Vlad, the husband, he's coming over for cocktails next Sunday.
11:27I can get a better read.
11:29Well, Sid's here.
11:30Oh, damn it.
11:31Okay, I'll reschedule.
11:34When Sid comes.
11:35Mm-hmm.
11:37With this whole thing, let's not say anything to her.
11:41Look, our daughter doesn't need to know about this whole...
11:44The dinner on Saturday, Salmon.
11:48Yeah, I'll do it on the grill.
11:49Mm-hmm.
11:49I'll get some fresh stuff from the farm stand.
11:52We can use my lettuce.
11:53It's almost ready to pick.
11:54Sure.
11:55And make some pasta or something.
11:57I can't eat just fish and veggies.
11:59I'll waste away.
12:00I'm considering giving up gluten.
12:04Please don't.
12:06Why not?
12:11I don't want to talk to Sid about it.
12:18I know this hasn't been easy for you.
12:20Mm-hmm.
12:22I appreciate what you're doing.
12:24That's all I'm saying.
12:25Mm.
12:26Such sentiment.
12:28Seriously.
12:29Look, as far as I'm concerned, I'm just doing what I've always done.
12:39Good morning.
12:39For years now, John and I have been a golden couple on campus.
12:46He, the poetry scholar and charismatic chair.
12:50And me, the desperately sought-after professor of creative writing and passionate instructor of the most popular class in the
12:59department.
13:03What's up, bitches?
13:05Women in American fiction.
13:07A bit broad, don't you think?
13:12That was a pun.
13:21Two cappuccinos.
13:23Yes.
13:23Yes.
13:24Did you get soy?
13:25Soy.
13:27Perfect.
13:27Dairy.
13:29So, um, we were talking before, and we did want to kind of say something.
13:37Oh, yes.
13:38That's what I want.
13:39Please.
13:41Sorry.
13:42You're fine.
13:44Am I?
13:44Um, we just wanted to, um, offer that you, uh, don't have to do the whole supportive wife thing.
13:58Wow.
14:00Okay.
14:01Say more?
14:03Uh, like, like we just think you're this hot, brilliant lady.
14:08Like, like we think you're really hot.
14:11Yeah.
14:13And, um, we just think you don't have to, like, stand by your man.
14:21My dear, dear friends, I am so flattered by your concern.
14:37Oh, my God.
14:41This man and I once had an affair.
14:45In meetings, if I was wearing the right pair of pants, I could make myself orgasm just by looking at
14:51his profile.
14:52Just...
14:53Time can make things simpler, if you know what I mean.
14:58Ready for action?
14:59Just about.
15:01Hey.
15:01Actually, um, I spoke to a group of students who said you met today.
15:06Mm-hmm.
15:07Um, I just am actually concerned about them.
15:10Like, they said they were really anxious talking to you.
15:14Okay.
15:14Just because, like, some, like, survivors are often not believed by enablers who are often older women.
15:22David.
15:22So, I just think we need to be, like, really thoughtful of what we're putting the students through.
15:26Sorry.
15:27Were they anxious to speak to me, or were they anxious after they spoke to me?
15:31I didn't get confirmation on that.
15:33When I hear anxious, that's, like, noteworthy.
15:36Okay.
15:37Okay, Flo, I know you're new.
15:39I've been here for eight years.
15:40Uh, so maybe you don't know how things work, but I'm gonna request that you not speak to me about
15:44this in unofficial ways for perhaps ever.
15:47Sorry.
15:47Is that okay?
15:48And, David, do you think you could eat the snack food products that literally fell on the floor any louder?
15:54Hi.
15:54Hi.
15:56Hi.
15:56Ready for action?
15:58We'll see.
15:59Where do they put you?
16:01Upstairs.
16:01I got them in 406.
16:03Oh, my old office.
16:04Oh.
16:05That's why the vibes are so good.
16:18Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
16:20Oh, no.
16:21No.
16:21An interruption was exactly what we needed.
16:25Um.
16:27Okay.
16:40Mom.
16:43Hi.
16:45Oh, you smell good.
16:51Let me look at you.
16:53Oh, you look so cool.
16:55Where's Alexis?
16:56She's coming tomorrow.
16:57On the train?
16:58She bought a car.
16:59How grown up?
17:00She's 35.
17:01You were 35.
17:02I was, like, eight.
17:03You had tenure.
17:03And now you're 27 and I just turned 40.
17:06It's incredible.
17:08Age jokes are lame, Mom.
17:12So, Alexis is starting to want to talk about having a kid.
17:17Oh.
17:17Yeah.
17:19Okay.
17:19I mean, you're awfully young.
17:22I'm, like, the same age as you were.
17:24But that was a different time.
17:25Alexis is already a geriatric pregnancy.
17:27Right.
17:28But for you.
17:28No, I know.
17:29In New York, I'd be like a teen mom.
17:31Might be kind of hot.
17:32A child is serious.
17:34I know.
17:34I was joking.
17:35Just because your partner wants something doesn't mean it's right for you.
17:38Mom?
17:39I like Alexis.
17:40I love Alexis.
17:41Please.
17:41Just stop talking.
17:42I just don't think you should let her steamroll you.
17:44She's not steamrolling me.
17:46We're just talking about it.
17:47Why are you talking?
17:48I'm still paying your student loans, Jay.
17:50Okay.
17:50Mom.
17:50Oh, my God.
17:51I'm so sorry I told you.
17:53Next time, I'm just not going to tell you anything.
17:54So that is awesome for our relationship.
17:56Thank you, Mom.
17:57Oh, listen, honey.
17:58I'm sorry.
17:59I'm stressed.
18:00You're fine.
18:01Please don't tell me I'm fine.
18:05Do you want to stop at the bakery with me?
18:07Can you just drop me off, please?
18:23A former student, I had to fail.
18:38May I get a bouche de Noël?
18:40We only have the 12-inch.
18:42Oh.
18:43Perfect.
18:44It's my daughter's favorite.
18:45She'll...
18:47She didn't come to class, and she didn't do the work.
18:51It wasn't personal.
18:56May I pay now?
18:57Can I box it up first, please?
18:58Of course.
18:59Take your time.
19:05Tap your card.
19:13Oh!
19:14I'm sorry.
19:15You're fine.
19:15Putting everything aside.
19:17I was like, where is your self-respect?
19:20What?
19:23It's like Greek theater.
19:24It's the Ore style.
19:25No, it's not.
19:26It's a family drama where every action sets off a consequence
19:30that then has to be reckoned with.
19:32What's more Greek?
19:33Caitlin is Clytemnestra.
19:35Chloe is Elektra.
19:36Where are the Furies?
19:37This is an amazing conversation.
19:39Imagine growing up with them.
19:40I love pop culture.
19:41Yay, pop culture.
19:43But it is not a Greek tragedy.
19:45I mean, the whole point of tragedy is taking something unwieldy
19:48and submitting it to a structure.
19:49Which is exactly what they're doing with the Kardashians.
19:51No, John.
19:52Something that is open-ended cannot be compared to a Greek tragedy.
19:55They're ontologically and phenomenologically opposed.
19:58Don't talk dirty to me.
19:59The definition of tragedy is a single, complete, and whole action.
20:03Look, here's the thing.
20:03Your mother cannot grasp evolving forms.
20:06What?
20:06Yeah.
20:06She's never been an independent thinker.
20:08Never been her strength.
20:09She likes stuff to be time-tested so that she doesn't have to actively evaluate it.
20:13Please stop.
20:14She wants everything to be,
20:15Mr. Wentz told Lady Parson's glove.
20:17How scandalous.
20:18Stalking longed for Lily, but she died making hats, you know.
20:21His name is Selden.
20:22Why are you making fun of me?
20:24She's just stuck up there in her ivory tower.
20:26Well, at least I'm in the tower, John.
20:27At least I'm inside the tower.
20:29Unlike you, who is not in the tower.
20:31Who is no longer allowed in the fucking tower.
20:34Hey.
20:34Because you took little girls into the tower.
20:36Hey, hey.
20:37What?
20:37Your father is suspended from teaching because he had sex with students.
20:42And I have to deal with all of his mess.
20:44People judging me, talking about me, students feeling anxious.
20:48And you can sit there and mock me.
20:52Guys.
20:52What do you have to deal with?
20:53You just want me to hang around long enough to get my pension and get the fuck out of your
20:56life.
20:57What's happening?
20:58Oh, that's right.
20:59That's correct, John.
21:00I've spent 30 years living with you and working with you.
21:03And all I want on this whole blessed earth is to be alone.
21:06Stop.
21:07But now you're going to lose your pension because you got motorboated by a 21-year-old communications
21:13major.
21:14And I'm going to be stuck with you walking around my house with your low-slung balls hanging
21:18out of your goddamn shorts for the rest of my life.
21:21Stop!
21:24Oh, my God.
21:26I'm so sorry.
21:28Sweetie.
21:29It's, it's, it's not that bad.
21:31Babe, babe, babe, take a breath.
21:32I knew about it.
21:33You knew about it?
21:34Well, I mean, not specifics, but...
21:38We had an open marriage.
21:39Mom, what the fuck?
21:40What?
21:41I'm an only child, Ma.
21:43Ma?
21:43There were three of us in the house.
21:46And you just keep something like that from me?
21:48We, we talked about telling you.
21:50And you knew.
21:51It was fucking stupid.
21:52Hey, hey.
21:52I vaguely knew.
21:53It was not against the rules.
21:55You know who else vaguely knew something bad was happening?
21:57The freaking Germans in World War II.
21:59That is not an appropriate comparison.
22:02I'm leaving.
22:03But I bought a bouche de Noel.
22:04I'll take it to go.
22:05But I wanted some.
22:06Then fucking keep it!
22:07Just leave her a slice.
22:09Sid.
22:11Sid, honey, let's talk about this.
22:14What?
22:15Did you get the cake?
22:17Did you leave me a piece?
22:19Ah!
22:21Messy!
22:22Here we go.
22:22This is unacceptable behavior!
22:25This is a $48 cake!
22:43Just get out of here!
22:47This is my house too.
22:48Find somewhere else to sleep tonight, John.
22:50Please.
22:51I'm serious.
22:51I'm done.
22:52It's over.
22:53No more supportive wife.
22:54No more staying in the course.
22:55It's over.
22:56I'm done.
22:56Calm down.
22:58Get the fuck out of here!
23:00Are you kidding me?
23:01I'm fine.
23:01Get out of here!
23:03Fucking maniac.
23:04Fine.
23:23Do you believe the novel is still relevant in our cultural discourse?
23:27I guess I often think about what Vladimir Nabokov said in an interview.
23:33He said something like, um, I don't wish to touch hearts.
23:36He just wanted me to be an engineer.
23:39So tell us what's next for you.
23:41I'm teaching, actually.
23:43And, uh, yes, as you said, my wife is also a writer.
23:47We met in Iowa.
23:49And, yes, there are huge benefits to that because we both understand the process.
23:53But, of course, with a young child, it also makes it really fucking hard because we don't
23:57have any...
24:18all I want is a life free of complications.
24:28If I can't have power, can I at least be free from other people's trauma?
24:37Free from their behavior.
24:39Free from their needs and their desires.
24:49Is that selfish?
24:52I've just come to the time in my life when I don't want to have to think about anyone else.
25:20This is still a good time.
25:34I'll see you next time.
25:35Bye.
25:36Bye.
25:37Bye.
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