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00:11Do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do do-do-wa
00:33Do-do-do-do-da
00:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:39Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:54Looking for someone, Mr. Cervantes?
00:56Por favor.
00:58Never mind.
01:06shh this way
01:10oh good evening one well you only just made it
01:13well come along into the classroom in a moment
01:16first i have to go someplace ah well don't you know
01:22hey come on this way this way
01:26hi good evening everyone
01:30well uh i may as well warn you that i'm not in the best of humors tonight
01:34in fact i have a serious complaint why don't you go to the doctor
01:37it's not that sort of complaint danielle i'm far from happy with your progress
01:42i feel as if i'm banging my head against a brick wall
01:44oh blimey if you're doing that you will be getting a headache
01:48i checked your homework last night and frankly i think you're getting worse
01:52now max the correct form of address for a cardinal is not westminster cathedral
01:59i didn't know he'd moved
02:02that should have been your eminence and danielle the word conjugate is applied to verbs and has nothing
02:08whatsoever to do with marital relations
02:11why i'm sorry and as for you ranjeet well some of your answers made no sense whatsoever
02:16that is because i'm not understanding the gist of the questions so i'm answering different questions that i do understand
02:26that is not the object of homework
02:28thousand apologies
02:30what is era
02:31giovanni what time do you call this
02:34uh... ten past seven
02:36you're late haven't you got a watch
02:38uh... i had a watch it was a beautiful watch
02:41it was rust-a-proof shock-a-proof waterproof
02:44everything
02:45the only trouble is it wasn't quite
02:48super-proof
02:49super-proof
02:50yeah last night i'm working in the restaurant and whoops at the daisy
02:53i dropped it in the sofa
02:58quiet
03:00have you seen one
03:02one what
03:04one cervantes
03:05ah scusi no
03:07where the devil has he got to
03:11eh
03:11perdon signora
03:13eh
03:13it's okay my friend wait here for me
03:16oh i don't know about that
03:18it's only to finish class
03:20oh all right then
03:22do you want a cup of tea
03:24eh
03:24he not speak the english good
03:26eh
03:26not like me
03:27oh
03:30you wait here
03:31no speak
03:32no nothing
03:33k-o
03:35no k-o
03:36o-k
03:38o-k
03:39o-k
03:39o-k
03:42right now this evening we're going to concentrate on the alphabet
03:44i'm going around the class
03:46and i want each of you to give me a word beginning with a different letter from the alphabet
03:49max we'll start with you a or a
03:53a desk
03:56no max that's a d
03:57all right d desk
04:00no max desk does not begin with a letter a i want a word beginning with a letter a
04:06a door
04:07good
04:07a door
04:08well done
04:08excuse please
04:10yes ali
04:10i'm not understanding why you are saying a desk is not right but a door is right
04:15ah yes well you see when max said a door he was meaning the verb to a door and although
04:20they do sound the same he didn't mean a door for example this door am i right max
04:24sure you're right
04:26sure you're right i'm meaning henny dog
04:29at this rate it'll take us a week to get through the alphabet
04:32oh we'll try again max please give me a word beginning with the letter a and i don't want a
04:37something just one word beginning with the letter a
04:40think of a fruit
04:42apple
04:42apple
04:43good
04:44danielle
04:45b
04:46b for brown
04:48good
04:48b for beautiful
04:50yeah thank you danielle
04:53hannah
04:54c
04:54red
04:55red
04:56red
04:57what's that got to do with c
04:58red c
05:02i want a word beginning with the letter c
05:04cow
05:05yes
05:06well done
05:08tarot
05:09d
05:10arthur
05:14darko
05:14darko
05:16well well
05:16dark
05:18k
05:19yes good
05:20jamila
05:21e
05:23heavenly
05:24good excellent well done
05:26giovanni
05:27f
05:28thick
05:29thick
05:30that's all right
05:31there's no such word as thick
05:33sure there is
05:34my boss is english and he say lots of times through thick and through thin
05:41yes well your boss's grammar isn't very good and don't give me the old chestnut about his grammar being very
05:46good for her age
05:47i not say that
05:48good
05:48she's dead
05:52great everybody look there's far too much levity in this class don't forget that you have your exams coming up
05:57shortly now try and take it seriously please
05:59giovanni
06:00giovanni
06:00giovanni a word beginning with f
06:02giovanni a word beginning with f
06:03good well done
06:05su li
06:05g
06:06glate
06:08glate
06:09as in glate wall of china built by grollius chinese workers
06:12yes
06:12yes thank you
06:14giovanni
06:41giovanni
06:42ah palabra
06:44julia
06:44julia
06:45julia
06:46april may
06:47jun juli
06:50no one that's a j j july i want h
06:53ha
06:53si
06:54hacienda
06:55yeah
06:55yeah well i'll accept that
06:56for favor
06:57it's all right doesn't matter sit down
06:59good
07:01honey
07:02hi
07:04i
07:04i you are what
07:06oh
07:06a word beginning with the letter i
07:10infidel
07:11are you meaning me
07:12yes
07:12hi
07:13sit down
07:15ranjit
07:16j
07:16jackass
07:19are you meaning me
07:20well done
07:21you
07:22have your damn fair one up you monkey face
07:25quiet please sit down both of you
07:27danielle
07:28k
07:29k for kind hearted
07:31good
07:31k for kiss
07:32yes
07:34i think that'll do danielle thank you
07:37er
07:38max
07:38l
07:39elephant
07:41now max try again
07:45love it
07:46good
07:47anna
07:48m
07:49meister zinger
07:51camilla
07:51n
07:53n
07:54knitting
07:55no knitting begins with a k
07:57lo ji
07:58achi zbaan hai kubo
07:59sikhe to kaise sikhe
08:00lighte kuch hain bhoolte kuch hain
08:02what do you knit with
08:05aaa
08:05wool
08:09what are these
08:12needles
08:12needles
08:13excellent
08:14well done
08:14giovanni
08:15can you give me a word beginning with the letter o
08:17or
08:18orival
08:18no
08:20holiday
08:21no
08:22hopeless
08:25yes you are you keep dropping your aspirates
08:29eh
08:31and not drop nothing
08:34an aspirate
08:35an aspirate is the sound made by the letter h the words you've given me all start with h and
08:39not with an o
08:40scusi
08:41i want a word beginning with o come on
08:43out the side
08:44that's better
08:45excuse me mr brown
08:47ah
08:48miss courtney wants to see you in the tea room
08:50ah all right i'll be as quick as i can giovanni would you take charge of the class while i'm
08:54away
08:54si professor
08:57i think you'd better come too pedro
08:59for hava
08:59miss courtney's found your fishy friend
09:03are you going to answer me
09:06look what is your name
09:09who are you and what are you doing here
09:13what seems to be the problem miss courtney
09:15this is
09:16i just came in here and found him
09:18well he seems to be some sort of foreigner but i can't get a word out of him
09:21is he one of yours
09:22no i mean
09:23well you can find out what he's doing here
09:26after all you do seem to have a way with these foreign persons
09:30well i'll do my best
09:31hello
09:34what is your name
09:36name
09:37do you speak english
09:39no
09:40parlez-vous francais
09:42spreche de deutsch
09:44parlez-italiano
09:45habla spagnol
09:46or say something even if it's only got naughty
09:51amico
09:53everything's alright
09:53not worry not worry
09:55oh van you know this person
09:56si
09:56i tell you truth
09:58he's my brother
09:59your brother
10:00i don't believe you
10:01okay
10:02i tell you truth
10:03he's not my brother
10:06he's a good friend
10:07we sleep together
10:08pardon
10:10not in the same bed
10:12same room
10:13look uh
10:14why don't you tell me the whole story one
10:16yeah
10:16okay
10:17i make it a clean chest
10:18breast
10:19si
10:20but you must promise me
10:21not to tell nobody
10:22well let's hear what you have to say first
10:24his name
10:25is boris
10:26his marinero
10:28marinero
10:28si
10:32oh a sailor
10:34sailor
10:34last night he came in bar where he worked
10:37he's russian
10:38russian
10:38si
10:39you mean he was in a hurry
10:41no no
10:42he's russian
10:43from russia
10:44oh
10:45a sailor
10:46a russian sailor
10:47si
10:48we drink
10:49vodka
10:50si
10:51vodka
10:51and he asked me
10:53for mental home
10:54asked you for what
10:55he say
10:56no go back russia
10:57ask me for mental home
10:59casa de loco
11:02asylum
11:03asylum
11:03political asylum
11:04si si
11:06he's a defector
11:08no
11:08he's russian
11:11you don't let him take him back eh
11:13oh no of course not
11:14this is a free country
11:15if he wants to stay here he's perfectly at liberty to do so
11:18welcome to england comrade
11:20thank you
11:22thank you
11:23thank you
11:23thank you
11:45silence
11:48what do you want?
11:50you're supposed to be studying the books
11:52who say so?
11:54i say so
11:56yeah
11:56look
11:57professor is a put me in charge
11:59you gotta do what i tell you
12:01now
12:02i'm gonna ask the questions
12:04and you're gonna give me the answers
12:07hokey cokey
12:10Ali
12:10uh huh
12:11yeah yes please
12:12what is a nauna?
12:14oh blimey
12:15it is very simple
12:16nauna is a lady
12:18who is living in a convent
12:20who is living in a convent
12:22that's a nauna
12:23hey
12:24Jamila
12:26what's the plural of a thief?
12:29eh?
12:30the plural of a thief
12:32a thief
12:35robbers
12:36no
12:37no
12:38not robbers
12:39ah
12:40look
12:41these are robbers
12:45now look
12:46one thief
12:46two
12:47thieves
12:48that's better
12:50max
12:52what's the opposite
12:54of bitter
12:56lotta
12:58that's not right
13:00sure it is
13:01opposite of bitter money
13:02is lotta money
13:05quiet
13:06please
13:08silenzio
13:08thank you Giovanni
13:10you can sit down now
13:11uh
13:12Juan i think it might be a good idea if Boris sat next to you
13:15eh
13:15vamos
13:17for your general information Boris is from Russia
13:20ah
13:21much better he sit next me
13:22rather than representative of capitalist philosophy
13:25sorry to disappoint you Suli
13:27but uh
13:27Boris has decided to change horses
13:29oh blimey
13:31is he a Russian cowboy?
13:34no
13:34Ellie i mean that he's decided that he prefers our democratic way of life to the Russian regime
13:39he's a defector
13:40he's clater
13:41battling Russian embassy
13:43that will do no such thing Suli
13:44er
13:45Boris has made his decision and after the class Miss Courtney will inform the home office who will then decide
13:49whether he can stay
13:50why he wish to reflusher
13:52well i haven't the faintest idea
13:53hey
13:54maybe he's a spy
13:56yeah
13:56a double agent
13:58maybe Suli is right
13:59we send him back where he came from
14:01he should be interrogated
14:03he is he
14:04sit down everybody
14:05quiet please
14:06sit down
14:07i'm sure that Boris has a perfectly good reason for wishing to remain here
14:10Boris
14:11dada
14:12would you come out here please
14:17Juan
14:18does Boris speak any English?
14:20ah
14:20i teach him a little
14:21oh good
14:23why do you wish to leave Russia?
14:25por favor
14:28i see you speak English as well as Juan does
14:30it's alright
14:31why do you wish to leave Russia?
14:34niponimayo
14:34well come over here
14:41Russia?
14:42dada
14:46England
14:47why do you leave Russia to stay in England?
15:08ah
15:08ah
15:09a woman
15:09is this true one?
15:11si si
15:12last night in bar
15:14he meets beautiful girl
15:16he has fallen
15:17how you say
15:17yeah
15:18heels over head
15:20head over heels
15:23oh well thank you Boris
15:24you can sit down now
15:25er
15:26sit
15:26down
15:27dada
15:29vive l'amour
15:30vive l'amour
15:30Boris
15:31well Sully
15:32i'm sure even you wouldn't wish to stand in the way of true love
15:35true love
15:35true love should be for state not individual
15:38yes
15:38well not this side of the iron curtain
15:40now where were we up to in the alphabet?
15:42which letter have we got to?
15:44p
15:44p? well then suppose you give me a word beginning with p
15:48plopaganda
15:48plopaganda
15:49plopaganda
15:50as used by decadent western world to spread rise about growly as peace rubbing Chinese
15:56Sully do you have to make a political speech every time you answer a question?
16:00yes
16:01chairman Mao he say
16:02it is duty of those who can see
16:04to guide Brian to write off clues
16:06the eight points for attention are as follows
16:09do not damage clots
16:11do not take riveties with women
16:13do not
16:14right so you sit down thank you that'll do
16:18Ali
16:18you give me a word beginning with q
16:23q?
16:23yes
16:24go on
16:26q
16:27yes
16:27come on
16:28q
16:29Ali will you give me a word beginning with the letter q
16:32oh blimey
16:33i'm giving it to you three times already
16:36q
16:37like bus
16:38stop
16:39q
16:39oh
16:40i'm sorry
16:41well done
16:42taro
16:44ah
16:44arse
16:47radeon
16:48good
16:48Ranjit
16:49s
16:50eskimo
16:53eskimo begins with an e
16:55thousand apologies
16:56think of a word that describes you
16:59stupid
17:00you would call me stupid
17:02you half-heated Pakistani poppadam
17:05don't you call me Pakistani poppadam you brown of chapati
17:08all right that'll do sit down both of you
17:11one
17:11tea
17:12for favor
17:13tea
17:14ha
17:15tea
17:16ha
17:16tea
17:19no no one i don't mean it's time for the tea break
17:23for favor
17:24never mind sit down
17:25no
17:26no
17:27excuse me mr brown
17:28what is it this time gladys
17:30there's another one turned up
17:32another what
17:33a rusky
17:34i've shown him into miss courtney's office
17:36i am captain
17:46a fine woman like you has no husband
17:50no i am understanding you prefer to have the lovers
17:56certainly not
17:59now will you please get to the point
18:01i have reason to believe that one of my men is here
18:04really
18:05oh come mrs courtney
18:07miss
18:08miss
18:10we both know he's here
18:12he must come back to the ship and return to us
18:14that is for him to decide
18:17enter
18:18wish to see me miss courtney
18:20this is captain evan ivanovich
18:22mr brown our english teacher
18:24how are you doing
18:25yes very well thank you
18:28i welcome you to england
18:30you and your compatriot are perfectly safe here
18:32don't have to go back to russia if you don't want to
18:36mr brown
18:37yes
18:38the captain has no wish to stay here
18:40he has come to take back the other person
18:43ah but you can't do that
18:45why not
18:46well he doesn't want to go back
18:47he's met this girl you see and they want to get married
18:50that's impossible
18:51we are only being here for the one night
18:53yeah well it was love at first sight
18:54no peoples do not fall in love at first sight
18:58yes peoples do
18:59i tell you he cannot be getting an english wife
19:02why not
19:03because he already has a russian one
19:06saying that he's already married
19:08to anastasia
19:10well this puts an entirely different complexion on the matter
19:13i'm afraid we have no alternative but to return your roving shipmate
19:19will you see to it mr brown
19:20very well
19:22so
19:26you are a woman of great perception as well as being beautiful
19:32oh thank you
19:34you are reminding me so much of your great national figure
19:39oh yes people have said i resemble the queen
19:42yes you do no
19:43no no not the queen
19:44but it is bulldog
19:50Juan i ask you the question
19:52what is the name for a group of cows
19:55por favor
19:56hey come on you know what i'm saying
19:59you might fool professor you not fool me huh
20:02now what's the name for a group of cows
20:04i don't know
20:05i heard of cows
20:08for favor
20:09heard of cows
20:10sure i heard of cows
20:14santa maria heard of cows is a lot of cows
20:17and you speak a lot of bull
20:22right thank you Giovanni
20:24thank goodness you're back
20:26i tell you professor i don't know how you put up with all these foreigners
20:31boris
20:32boris
20:32dada
20:33yeah well there's a set of friend of yours outside
20:35er
20:36he waiting to take you back to the ship captain ivanovich
20:39nyet nyet
20:40yeah not nyet nyet
20:41da da
20:42he's told me all about anastasia
20:45anastasia
20:46for your general information anastasia is boris's wife back in russia
20:50a
20:51own
20:53can we catch him
21:08now
21:10jesus
21:22Come on, pay attention. We've had enough interruptions for one evening.
21:25Which letter in the alphabet were we up to?
21:27Ah, me, te, ti.
21:30Good. Well won.
21:32Tabacco.
21:32Tabacco, good.
21:34Uh, Max, you.
21:37Me?
21:37No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the letter, you.
21:40Humbrella.
21:41Yes, good, but not humbrella. Umbrella.
21:46Hockey.
21:48Anna, V.
21:50Vent.
21:51Vent? Yes, good, as in air vent.
21:53Nein, as in I vent to wash my hands.
21:56No, Anna, those words begin with W. I want a word beginning with V.
22:01What instrument does Yehudi Manu in play?
22:03A fiddle.
22:06A violin.
22:07V.
22:08Violin, natürlich, ja.
22:10Good.
22:12Uh, Danielle, W.
22:15W for war.
22:17Good.
22:17W for when.
22:19I only wanted one word, Danielle.
22:23Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
22:25What is it this time, Gladys?
22:27He's back.
22:27Who's back?
22:29Ivan the Terrible.
22:31Wants to see you.
22:34Giovanni, would you like me?
22:35Oh, I can't.
22:39Ah, Captain, you wanted to see me?
22:40Yes, Mr. Brown, could I, could I please have a word with you?
22:43Yes.
22:44Yes, of course.
22:45Yes, of course.
22:45Oh, please.
22:47Oh, yes, yes, please.
22:48Will you please speak on my behalf?
22:50Oh, please.
22:51Will you do this one thing for me?
22:52Oh, please.
22:52Thank you, Mr. Brown, thank you.
22:58Enter.
22:59Miss Courtney, we've got a bit of a problem.
23:02Captain Ivanovich is outside.
23:04Oh, don't tell me his compatriot has escaped.
23:06Oh, no, Boris is safely on his way back to the ship.
23:08Well, then why has the captain returned?
23:10Well, he wants to defect.
23:11You see, he says, like Boris, that he's fallen heels over head in love.
23:15Oh, these foreigners are impossible.
23:17Well, tell him to go away.
23:19His infatuation's of nothing to do with us.
23:21Well, I'm afraid this one has.
23:22You see, he says, uh, he's fallen in love with you.
23:28My little English bulldog.
23:32You must love me.
23:35I am loving you, Mrs. Garth.
23:38Miss.
23:38Miss.
23:38Miss.
23:39Miss.
23:40Miss.
23:40Miss.
23:41Miss.
23:41Miss.
23:41Miss.
23:42Miss.
23:42Miss.
23:43Miss.
23:43Miss.
23:45Miss.
23:47Miss.
23:49Miss.
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