00:00Hey y'all, it's your girl, Monet X Change,
00:02and today I'll be prank calling my friends,
00:03family, and my team.
00:05This is phoning it in with Elle.
00:08Here we go.
00:09Call your sibling rivalry co-host, Bob the Drag Queen.
00:12Let him know you will be replacing him on the podcast.
00:16Yes, God, please.
00:19I did call this morning, she didn't answer.
00:20Let's see.
00:23Hey Bob, how are you doing, girl?
00:25I'm great, how are you?
00:26Good, it's Monet X Change here.
00:27I miss you so much.
00:29I miss you as well, girl boss.
00:31Well, girl, this is really awkward,
00:34and I think that I've made the really hard decision
00:38to replace you on the podcast.
00:40Okay.
00:41I just feel like there's been a lot of hostility,
00:43I feel like we've just have been bumping heads a lot,
00:45and I think that we should part ways,
00:47but I should keep the podcast.
00:48Okay.
00:50Oh, it's funny.
00:51Maybe we'll do the both take from the podcast,
00:53but we put into it.
00:54So you'll have, what's that, about 13%?
00:58I'm not even gonna say, you have some nerve.
01:00I have carried this podcast on my back
01:03for the past three and a half years.
01:04How dare you?
01:05All you've been carrying on your back is hair.
01:09Your hostility is pushing me to new horizons
01:12that I don't explore,
01:13and I feel like before we really get to a place
01:15that we can never rekindle,
01:17we should probably end the conversation here.
01:19Well, I feel like new horizons is probably tough for you.
01:21Exploring new sides of yourself and being open-minded
01:24is probably really a hard area for you
01:25because you've been pretty remedial since I met you.
01:29So I understand how progressing and trying new things
01:33would be hard for someone like you.
01:36So I agree, we should end this conversation
01:38before you are forced into evolution.
01:41Bob, I'm pranking you, this is a joke.
01:43I don't want to end the podcast, I love you so much.
01:45It's funny, to be clear, I never believed you, goodbye.
01:48So I have to prank call someone,
01:52and I have to say that Beyonce wants you
01:54to jump on a remix of Texas Hold'em
01:57and sing a cringe-made-up verse.
02:00I'm gonna call Orville Peck.
02:07I guess Orville doesn't like me that much.
02:10She just announced her tour, girl, she said,
02:11"'Money Who?'
02:12["Money Who?" ringtone plays on speakerphone.]
02:15The wireless customer you are calling is not available.
02:18Well, she don't pay her bill, okay.
02:20["Money Who?" ringtone plays on speakerphone.]
02:21Ha ha, okay, let's try Trixie Mattel.
02:28Hi, how are you?
02:29Good, good, good.
02:30Okay, Beyonce, they want me and two other queer people
02:34to get on the remix for Texas Hold'em.
02:36Oh, fierce.
02:37I know, and I had to do this verse,
02:39and I want you to tell me if you think this is good.
02:42Yeah, sure.
02:43Okay, this ain't Texas.
02:46I got my skrrt, skrrt, skrrt.
02:48It's hanging down, down, down, down, down.
02:52I got down nexus.
02:54I'm going to Canada.
02:55I'm gonna frown, frown, frown, frown, frown.
03:00That's all I have so far.
03:01What do you think?
03:02Are you on c**t?
03:03No, because I wanna like, I want it to be like-
03:06Are you c**ting with me?
03:07No, I want it to be unapologetically queer.
03:09Like, I wanna like put queerness into it.
03:11I don't wanna shy away from that, you know?
03:13I feel like you're c**ting with me.
03:15Trixie, I'm dead ass, I'm not.
03:16I was talking to David Charponte,
03:17he said, just call Trixie, just call her right away,
03:19and literally the first-
03:20You are lying.
03:22I mean, I think c**t is a big swing.
03:25Okay.
03:25To start with.
03:26You think?
03:29I think you're c**ting with me.
03:30Are you coming over here today to do the pod?
03:32Yeah, I am, yeah.
03:33Okay, well, can we do it then?
03:35Oh yeah, sure.
03:36I would love that.
03:37Okay, because I have my guitar here too.
03:38We could play through it and you could see how it feels.
03:40Trixie, I'm prank calling you for L.
03:44You're such a c**t.
03:46You're such a c**t.
03:46I knew you were prank calling me, you c**t b**ch.
03:49You immediately went to problem solving and solutions,
03:52and you were like, I feel like c**t is a big swing.
03:58If you ever call me and you have a Beyonce feature,
04:00I'm gonna hang up.
04:01I'm gonna try again.
04:03Bye.
04:04Bye.
04:06So supportive, how nice.
04:08She was like, girl, I got my guitar,
04:09we can work this out.
04:11That is hilarious.
04:13I have to say that RuPaul just served you
04:15for stealing numerous items from the Drag Race set.
04:19This scene's pointed.
04:21I gotta try to get me a prank call to myself
04:24because I believe that I stole so much from Drag Race.
04:26Okay, ooh, I'm gonna call Raja Gemini.
04:29Raja's probably like charging her crystals
04:31in the desert somewhere,
04:32so I don't know what she'll answer.
04:33Let's see.
04:36Rasha?
04:37Oh, Rasha, Rasha.
04:39What are you doing calling me?
04:42Girl, I'm calling you because have you seen
04:44what's going on on Twitter?
04:48Apparently, RuPaul's Drag Race,
04:50they're serving you for stealing numerous items from set.
04:54You and three other people are named in this class action.
04:57They're suing you for stealing things from set.
05:01I am not, girl.
05:01I am dead serious, girl.
05:03That's why I was like, I need to call Raja to check on her.
05:07Yes.
05:10I don't know.
05:10I think you said you took a room divider,
05:13you took an iron or something.
05:15This is crazy.
05:16I've never seen anything.
05:16This is crazy, Raja.
05:18I never stole shit.
05:20I know.
05:21The audacity to sue you for that, that is crazy.
05:24How did they know that they sued me?
05:25Who sued me?
05:26Because they put it out publicly.
05:28It's like this class action.
05:29They named you and six other Ru girls.
05:31No, that's so stupid.
05:34Raja, I'll fuck with you, girl.
05:35I am prank calling you here at Elle.
05:37You are fucked up.
05:38I knew I hated you.
05:41While we're at it, I fucked you too, remember?
05:46Y'all heard him here first, girl, Raja Jefferson.
05:49Raja, I love you.
05:51I love you.
05:51I just had to prank call you.
05:52I love you so much.
05:53Also, you're an idiot.
05:56Bye.
05:58That was good.
06:00That was a good one.
06:01I'm calling a celebrity friend
06:03and I'm gonna quote my lyrics body.
06:06Ooh.
06:08Bianca Del Taco.
06:10She has like three numbers here.
06:11I don't know which one is her cell phone though.
06:14Hello?
06:16Hey, girl.
06:17Oh no, I'm repeating this cycle.
06:20You what?
06:21I'm thinking I could let go.
06:22Will you be the one?
06:25What the fuck are you doing?
06:27Listen, girl, I gotta admit, I'm kinda,
06:31I'm just caught up in this fire, girl.
06:33You are calling me singing song lyrics, bitch.
06:35That's what this is.
06:36Oh my God, you're so fast, Bianca.
06:38You're no fun.
06:39This is fucking stupid.
06:40I'm like, what is this?
06:41You got Maya Angelou in real life, bitch.
06:43This is too poetic.
06:44Like, what is going on?
06:47Your own music doesn't rhyme that good.
06:49What the hell?
06:51That was my song.
06:51That was my song, Body, Bianca.
06:54Oh, I forgot about that song.
06:55Yes, body, body, body.
06:56No, it actually, it's nice to spoken word,
06:59but I knew it was spoken word.
07:00I mean, it had to be a song.
07:02You don't call me with haikus that often.
07:03Thank you, Bianca.
07:05Bye.
07:06Damn, of course, she's fast.
07:07She's a quick one.
07:09Say, I'm putting together a new drag queen group.
07:12Do you think they would be the perfect fit?
07:16Damn, a drag queen group.
07:20Oh, you know what?
07:21Brooklyn Heights.
07:21That would be a good person to call.
07:26My angel.
07:27Hello, my sweet diva doll.
07:29How are you doing?
07:30I'm good.
07:31How are you, babe?
07:32Well, girl, okay, this is the craziest thing,
07:35but I basically met up with this TV production company
07:39and they want to put together this girl group.
07:40They want to have you on board as the,
07:43kind of like the Michelle Williams of the group.
07:45Not the Michelle Williams.
07:49I know.
07:50Who else is doing it?
07:52It's you, myself, and Trixie.
07:58Is it like a singing thing?
07:59It's like singing, dancing, acting, crafting.
08:03It's like a whole bunch of stuff.
08:04I mean, yeah, sure.
08:06They're pranking you?
08:07A girl group for downloading TV show would be you and Trixie.
08:12I think they want to call the show Oreo.
08:15Oh my God.
08:16I feel like I'm being punked right now.
08:17Is this a real, actual thing?
08:19No, I'm on Elle magazine.
08:21I'm prank calling people, girl.
08:23I want it on record that I am in no way,
08:24shape, or form a Michelle.
08:26I know, that's why it was funny, duh.
08:29Thank you, my love.
08:30You're welcome.
08:32Thank you so much for watching.
08:33Let this be a lesson to do not prank call strangers.
08:36Only prank call your friends, okay?
08:38That's somebody that you don't know can get real crazy.
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