00:00I couldn't remember my mom's laugh.
00:02I couldn't remember what she looked like.
00:05I felt like I had to be sad
00:08in order to prove to her that I missed her.
00:10Prince Harry is opening up about his marriage,
00:13mental health, and the lasting impact
00:14of losing his mother, Princess Diana,
00:17in a revealing new masterclass session on grief.
00:19The Duke of Sussex said one of the biggest rules
00:21he and Meghan Markle have in their marriage
00:24is not spending more than 10 days apart.
00:26Harry explained that being with his wife
00:28and their two children,
00:29Prince Archie and Princess Lilibet,
00:31brings him a sense of joy and happiness,
00:33while his work gives him a separate sense of purpose.
00:36He said keeping those two parts of his life in balance
00:38means making sure he is never away from his family
00:41for more than 10 days.
00:42Harry also opened up about what happened
00:44after he and Meghan left the UK with Archie in late 2019.
00:48After moving to Canada,
00:49he said his body suddenly crashed
00:51after being away from the stressful environment
00:53he had been living in as a working royal.
00:56Within a few days,
00:57Harry said he experienced what he described as
00:58an adrenaline crash.
01:00He said he had become so accustomed to operating under stress
01:03that he felt he needed adrenaline just to function.
01:05Once that was gone,
01:06Harry said he became useless around the house
01:09and slipped into depression for about two weeks.
01:11The Duke also described how severe his anxiety had become
01:14while carrying out royal duties.
01:16He recalled experiencing panic attacks on the way to work
01:19and said even putting on a dress shirt
01:21and tightening the collar
01:22could make him feel like he was suffocating.
01:24Harry also revealed that one of the biggest anxieties at the time
01:27was sweating in public
01:28and worrying that people would notice he looked disheveled
01:31without understanding what he was going through.
01:33A major part of Harry's masterclass
01:35focused on how he processed the death of his mother.
01:37He was just 12 years old
01:39when Diana was killed in a car crash in Paris in 1997
01:42and he said he spent years feeling emotionally numb.
01:46Harry explained that he believed he had to remain sad
01:48to prove to Diana that he missed her.
01:50He eventually realized that his mother would want him to be happy,
01:53describing that realization as a huge mental shift
01:56that gave him a completely different outlook on life.
01:59Now, Harry said he often looks at a portrait of Diana
02:01and wonders what she would think of his life.
02:03He said he can make eye contact with the image
02:06and feels a strong connection to her.
02:07He also said he thinks about his mother
02:09pretty much every night and most mornings
02:11and sometimes asks for her help during difficult moments.
02:14Harry said that over the years,
02:16he has felt Diana's presence at moments
02:18when it seemed to make sense,
02:20describing it as an energy
02:21or a sign that makes him laugh
02:23because it feels like more than a coincidence.
02:26He also reflected on how joining the military at age 20
02:29became a perfect distraction from grieving his mother.
02:32Harry said he spent 15 to 20 years responding,
02:35I'm fine whenever people asked how he was doing
02:37when he was actually experiencing numbness
02:40and emotional shutdown.
02:41And while Harry said his post-traumatic stress
02:43was not tied directly to his military service in Afghanistan,
02:46he explained that the experience
02:48appeared to trigger other trauma
02:50he had been carrying with him.
02:51The masterclass offers a particularly candid look
02:54at how Harry says grief, stress,
02:56and his royal upbringing shaped him,
02:58while also showing how he tried to build a happier life
03:00with Meghan and their children.
