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00:05From 30 Rockefeller Plaza in New York, it's Late Night with Seth Meyers.
00:12Tonight, Gracie Morgan.
00:15Writer Cassie Davis.
00:18An all-new closer look.
00:25And now, Seth Meyers.
00:28Good evening, everybody.
00:29Seth Meyers, this is Late Night.
00:31We hope you're doing well.
00:32And now, if you don't mind, let's get to the news.
00:34The U.S. launched joint military strikes with Israel against Iran over the weekend in Operation Epic Fury.
00:41Epic Fury?
00:42Who's our Secretary of Defense?
00:44Cartman?
00:47Operation Epic Fury.
00:49Is it a missile strike or a new Mountain Dew?
00:53Folks, this was even more successful than Operation Baja Blast.
00:59The White House released a photo over the weekend of President Trump overseeing military strikes on Iran from a secure
01:04room at Mar-a-Lago.
01:06But was it a secure room, though?
01:10I had a more secure room when I was trying on jeans at Old Navy.
01:16That's right.
01:17The White House released a photo of President Trump overseeing military strikes on Iran from Mar-a-Lago.
01:21Yeah, I probably could have guessed you were in Florida.
01:24Look at this guy.
01:24You look like you were drunk in a jacuzzi.
01:30And they pulled you out to take this picture.
01:34That's right.
01:35Trump was overseeing military strikes on Iran from Mar-a-Lago.
01:37Wait a minute.
01:38You started a war in the Middle East and you didn't even go into the office?
01:41You're going to work from home it?
01:44How am I going to get my writers to come into work when the President of the United States treats
01:51war like a Teams meeting?
01:54President Trump spoke on the phone last night with the New York Times for roughly six minutes.
01:58But no matter what he said, they refused to tell him the wordle.
02:06President Trump reportedly told FBI Director Cash Patel that he was disappointed with Patel's behavior at the Milan-Cortina Winter
02:12Olympics.
02:12Though if I know Trump, he was mostly upset that Cash was in the men's locker room.
02:19Have I taught you nothing?
02:24Paramount Skydance said today that it plans to merge its Paramount Plus streaming service with HBO Max.
02:29Just when your parents finally figured out how to watch Yellowstone.
02:35Burger King has announced it will install a new AI chatbot into employee headsets to monitor customer interactions
02:42and make sure they use specific phrases like,
02:44Please, thank you, and welcome back, Mr. President.
02:49A metal detectorist in Wales recently found two lead ingots that are believed to date back to the Roman era.
02:56While the detectorist doesn't date at all.
03:07Can we just, in post, can we put in the sound of, like, somebody hitting...
03:14And finally, in honor of the expansion of its D subway line,
03:18the Los Angeles Metro last week offered new T-shirts that read,
03:23Ride the D.
03:26They're hoping it sells better than the MTA shirt that reads,
03:29I got F'd.
03:31And that was a monologue, everybody.
03:35We've got a great show for you tonight.
03:38You know him from 30 Rock, the last OG, and his work on Saturday Night Live.
03:42He's currently starring in The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins,
03:45which airs Monday nights here on NBC and streams the next day on Peacock.
03:49The great Tracy Morgan is back on the show, everybody.
03:54No other guests in the world like him.
03:56So happy he's back.
03:57And she is a multi-talented best-selling author
03:59whose first essay collection, No One Asked For This,
04:01was a New York Times bestseller.
04:03Her latest,
04:04Delusions of Grandeur, of Romance, of Progress, is available now.
04:08Kazzie David is back on the show.
04:10We love she and Kazzie.
04:12She's the best before we get to all that.
04:15The Trump administration launched a war with Iran
04:17without any clear strategy for how it would end
04:20or how long it would last or who would take over.
04:22For more on this, it's time for a Closer Look.
04:28After launching yet another illegal war in the Middle East
04:31that could destabilize the region
04:32and put American troops in harm's way,
04:34Trump has been spending his time
04:35doing what all presidents do during wars,
04:38taking calls from reporters.
04:40I just got off the phone with the president.
04:42He is very pleased with how things are going.
04:45So I just got off the phone with President Trump.
04:48It was a nine-minute phone interview.
04:51Kristen, let's bring you in here.
04:52You talked to President Trump over the weekend by phone.
04:56Robert Costa spoke with President Trump by phone this evening.
04:59Rachel spoke with President Trump late today.
05:01Rachel, he told you that he was with the generals
05:04when you were on the phone with him.
05:05He was with the generals.
05:07So they were there, just sitting around mid-war
05:12while he chit-chatted.
05:14Yeah, I'm at Mar-a-Lago right now.
05:16We're looking at some highly classified material.
05:18I'll put you on speaker so you can say hello.
05:20Say hello, generals.
05:22I mean, this is like when I call my mom and she picks up,
05:24even though she's in the middle of her book club.
05:27And she's like, I'm here with the ladies.
05:29I'll pass you around.
05:29No, mom, I don't have time.
05:30Oh, hi, Gloria.
05:31Hi, yes.
05:32Yeah, things are good.
05:34What?
05:34How's SNL?
05:35I left 12 years ago.
05:36Yeah.
05:38I have a late-night talk show now.
05:39You don't have to apologize.
05:41It's not a downgrade.
05:43You know what?
05:44Pass me to Janet.
05:45I need her Bundt cake recipe.
05:47Also, why is he suddenly chatting with reporters on the phone?
05:50Aren't these the same people he always says
05:52are destroying America and are the enemy of the people?
05:55This is like if you had a brutal six-hour breakup talk
05:57with your girlfriend on Friday night
05:58and then called her on Monday saying,
06:00Hey, I just saw there's a new poke place.
06:03Should we check it out?
06:04Why are you scream crying?
06:06You love poke.
06:08But now that the Ayatollah is dead,
06:10the question is what happens next?
06:12Who takes over in Iran?
06:14President Trump told the New York Times
06:15he has, quote,
06:16three very good choices for who could lead Iran.
06:20Okay.
06:20Well, he's got some ideas, at least.
06:22That's good.
06:22So, what happened to those three candidates?
06:24He said the attack was so successful,
06:27it knocked out most of the candidates.
06:29It's not going to be anybody that we were thinking of
06:32because they are all dead.
06:33Second or third place is dead.
06:35Second and third place is dead?
06:37That sounds like they're announcing the results
06:40of the Coney Island hot dog eating contest
06:43after a salmonella outbreak.
06:45First place is dead.
06:47Second place is dead.
06:49Third place is in critical condition,
06:50and now we are hearing dead.
06:53Also, I love that he's describing it
06:55as so successful in one breath,
06:57while in the next, he admits they blew up plans A, B, and C.
07:02This does strike me as a job
07:04you don't want to just get thrust into.
07:05It's a country of 90 million people,
07:07not a Hollywood movie.
07:07We're hoping for a Dave situation
07:09where a Kevin Kline type steps in to fill the void.
07:13Was Dave too dated a reference?
07:16You got to pin that one on Seth.
07:18It wasn't in the original draft.
07:22Seth said they'll all remember Dave,
07:24and now he's the one.
07:25Oh, I wouldn't want to be Seth Meyers right now.
07:27He's going to get an earful from his very smug writers
07:31who warned him this very thing would happen.
07:33But do check out Dave.
07:34I'm sure it's streaming somewhere.
07:36It's a great film.
07:381993's Dave, starring Kevin Kline and Ben Kingsley,
07:41the great Ben Kingsley, we love him, Ben.
07:45We love Ben Kingsley.
07:51Just make sure there's some Dave fans next week.
07:56Who's running audience control?
07:58There's no Dave fans here.
08:01All right, so Trump's plan for who would take over
08:03seems to have gotten scrambled,
08:05but what about his timeline for the war?
08:07Surely he's put some thought into that, right?
08:09He told Axios this war could end in two to three days
08:12with a deal.
08:13Then he told the New York Times four to five weeks of fighting.
08:17So it could either be three days or four to five weeks?
08:19Okay, spectrum cable.
08:23Yeah, hi, you said the technician would be here last Friday,
08:26and now it's Monday, and I'd just love to know
08:27when you think someone's going to be here.
08:28Wait, what?
08:29No, don't put me on speaker so I can say hi to the guys.
08:33Hi, guys.
08:33Hi, so you're all, nobody's doing service calls?
08:36You're all just sitting around at headquarters?
08:37Cool, cool.
08:38So maybe three days, maybe five weeks.
08:41There are a lot of pesky life-and-death details
08:43to work out here, but Trump wants to assure you
08:46he has the attention span to figure this out.
08:49Somebody said today, they said,
08:51oh, well, if the president wants to do it really quickly,
08:53after that, he'll get bored.
08:54I don't get bored.
08:56There's nothing boring about this.
08:58Do you agree with that, Pete?
08:59I don't think there's anything, Mr. General,
09:01I think there's nothing boring about it.
09:04Somebody actually said from the media,
09:07I think he'll get bored after about a week or two.
09:09No, we don't get bored.
09:10I never get bored.
09:11If I got bored, I wouldn't be standing here right now.
09:14I guarantee you that.
09:16And for once, I agree,
09:18you're not going to get bored with Iran.
09:20I mean, what would that even look like?
09:22I mean, I guess if you were bored,
09:23you'd just start talking about drapes and ballrooms
09:26and instead of the war you just started,
09:28but even I don't think you'd do that.
09:29What? Really?
09:31Oh, me.
09:32We're adding on to the building a little bit.
09:34We're improving the building.
09:36See that nice drape?
09:38When that comes down right now,
09:40you see a very, very deep hole,
09:42but in about a year and a half from now,
09:44you're going to see a very, very beautiful building.
09:47And there's your entrance to it right there.
09:49In fact, it looks so nice,
09:50I don't think I'll even...
09:51I think I'll save money on the doors
09:52because it can't get more beautiful than that.
09:55I picked those drapes in my first term.
09:58I always liked gold.
10:00But I think we can save a lot of money.
10:02I just saved...
10:03I just saved curtains.
10:06But, and it will be.
10:07It'll be spectacular.
10:08It'll be the most beautiful ballroom.
10:10I believe it's because I built many a ballroom.
10:12I believe it's going to be
10:13the most beautiful ballroom anywhere in the world.
10:16And when you hear all that hammering out there,
10:18you know why the first lady is not thrilled exactly.
10:21She said,
10:22will the pile drivers ever stop?
10:24You know, they go from 6 in the morning
10:26till 11.30 in the evening.
10:28Can you imagine?
10:29Literally, bombs are falling all over the Middle East,
10:32and he's complaining about construction sounds.
10:36But for anyone who's already worrying
10:38about the cost of another war,
10:40did you factor in the money he's saving on curtains?
10:45The door money?
10:49Also, I have to go back to the previous clip
10:51where Trump was insisting he wouldn't get bored
10:54to talk about this.
10:55There's nothing boring about this.
10:57Do you agree with that, Pete?
10:58I don't think there's anything Mr. General.
11:00Mr. General?
11:02Is that his name?
11:04Are you talking to an actual general
11:05or the mascot from the insurance companies?
11:09I can't save you enough on car insurance
11:11to pay for this war.
11:12Don't ask me again.
11:14I know you saved curtain money.
11:16We still can't do it.
11:18In fact, Trump's plan for what happens next in Iran
11:20seems to be less about precision and planning
11:22and more about crossing our fingers.
11:25In the social media post Sunday,
11:27President Trump wrote this,
11:39I mean, I don't know what's more troubling,
11:41the use of hopefully or the use of peacefully merge.
11:45Like, Iran is suddenly going to become a traffic circle
11:48in Daniel Tiger's neighborhood.
11:51And it's not just Trump who seems indecisive
11:53about how all this is going to end.
11:55Even the war's biggest cheerleaders,
11:56like Lindsey Graham, insist it is not their job
11:59to plan out an end game.
12:01The new Iran, whatever it is,
12:04whether it's a cleric or a representative democracy,
12:08our goal is to make sure it cannot become, again,
12:12the largest state sponsor of terrorism.
12:13That's a win for us.
12:15But is there a plan to make sure that happens, Senator?
12:19Is there a plan?
12:20Does the president have a plan
12:21to guarantee that that happens?
12:23No, it's not his job or my job to do this.
12:28How many times do I have to tell you?
12:29You know this idea, you break it, you own it?
12:31I don't buy that one bit.
12:33I don't buy that one bit, you break it, you own it.
12:35And I said as much in the pottery barn
12:37when my meemaw knocked over a shelf of ceramic vases.
12:41It's not her fault she can't see.
12:43Though it wouldn't kill her to put her glasses on.
12:46I know you don't like the way you look at a meemaw,
12:49but ain't no man attracted to an old bag
12:51who keeps knocking over vases with her ass.
12:57But the thing that strikes me...
13:00The thing that strikes me as especially weird about this
13:03is how little effort Trump is putting
13:05into even trying to convince anyone, any of us,
13:09that this war no one asks for is a good idea.
13:11The polling so far is terrible,
13:12and when Trump announced the war,
13:14he did it from his private club in the middle of the night.
13:16President Trump is in Mar-a-Lago.
13:19He addressed the nation in a video message
13:21in the middle of the night last night.
13:23A short time ago,
13:25the United States military began
13:28major combat operations in Iran.
13:32I'm sorry, but if you're going to announce an illegal war
13:34that violates the Constitution from your private club at 3am,
13:36can you at least take the hat off first?
13:38You look like an Italian tourist in Times Square.
13:41I was worried you were going to turn it over
13:43for questions to knock off Spider-Man.
13:47Now, of course, as we've pointed out countless times
13:49on this show, Trump and his supporters claimed
13:52they claimed he was against regime-change wars
13:54and nation-building abroad.
13:56He called himself the candidate of peace,
13:57which was ludicrous then,
13:59and is even more ridiculous now.
14:00But now his MAGA base has to get on board
14:02with the neocon version of Trump
14:04they pretended didn't exist.
14:05How are they going to reconcile their desire
14:08to end foreign wars with Trump's desire
14:11to start foreign wars?
14:12Fox News, you got any ideas?
14:14And, Dan, your message to some of our friends
14:17on the right who are saying,
14:20look, President Trump ran on no regime change,
14:23and now President Trump is doing regime change.
14:25You see the Democrats are picking up on that
14:27for 2026 themes.
14:29Your message to them tonight.
14:32Well, it's incredible how the Doomer's...
14:34Laura, it hasn't even been 24 hours.
14:36It's happened at 3 a.m.
14:37It's not 3 a.m. Eastern time.
14:39Can you give the man a chance to cook a little bit?
14:43I don't know, man.
14:44There's no amount of cooking
14:45that's going to undo the regime change.
14:48I mean, unless you're cooking up a way
14:49to reanimate the corpses of those candidates you killed.
14:52I mean, who in your administration
14:53would even do a thing like that?
14:55Oh!
15:03Also, you can't say let him cook on Fox News.
15:07No one understands what you're saying.
15:09They're all 100 years old.
15:12They think you mean Trump's literally preparing food.
15:16Oh, I hope it's soup.
15:19You sound like a 40-year-old drug dealer
15:21trying to blend in at high school.
15:23Hey, chap, mind if I mog you?
15:25No cap. I'm look-smaxing.
15:27Let me cook?
15:29Trump lied.
15:30He said he would put an end to regime-change wars,
15:32and now he's starting yet another regime-change war.
15:34But this time, he can't even decide what the goal is,
15:37how long it'll take, who will take over,
15:39how it will end.
15:40Americans don't want this.
15:41The polling is terrible.
15:42Much like the site of his new ballroom, Trump is in...
15:45A very, very deep hole.
15:47This has been A Closer Look.
15:53We'll be right back with Tracy Morgan, everybody!
16:01For more of Seth's Closer Looks,
16:03be sure to subscribe to Late Night on YouTube.
16:12Our first guest tonight is an Emmy Award-nominated actor
16:16and very funny comedian you know from 30 Rock,
16:18the last OG, and his work on Saturday Night Live.
16:21He stars in the new comedy series
16:22The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins,
16:25which airs Monday nights at 8.30 on NBC and streams
16:27the next day on Peacock.
16:29Please welcome back to the show
16:30the one, the only, our very good friend,
16:31Tracy Morgan, everybody.
16:52Hello, team!
17:01Hi, Tracy!
17:02What's up? What's up, Seth?
17:04How are we?
17:04I'm good, baby.
17:05You know, me and you go back like spinal cords and car seats.
17:08That's right.
17:09We go back a long time.
17:102001, we've known each other a long time.
17:12And I want to talk about your new show,
17:14but before that, I do want to check in real quick.
17:16How are you feeling about your Knicks this year?
17:17You've been going to a lot of games.
17:18I love it. You ain't seen what we did yesterday?
17:20Yeah, really nice.
17:21We spanked San Antonio.
17:22Yeah.
17:24I love the Knicks. I love New York.
17:25I love y'all.
17:26I love everything about us.
17:28I, uh...
17:29Yeah, you got the best pizza.
17:31You got the best pizza.
17:32We got subway stations.
17:33You know that, right?
17:34Yeah.
17:35We got the best people in the world.
17:38Yeah.
17:40This right here is New York City.
17:43This is where King Kong died.
17:45That's right.
17:46And we told Godzilla, you next.
17:49You the flying turtle,
17:50the three-headed rashes, y'all can get it.
17:53We're not playing here.
17:54No.
17:55Not enough people talk...
17:57You know why everybody can't come here?
17:58Mm-hmm.
18:00Because the lights are too bright.
18:01Right.
18:02Lights are too bright on Broadway.
18:04Yeah.
18:05The city never sleep.
18:07We went through that blizzard.
18:09The snow is gone.
18:11The snow said, I ain't landing down there.
18:17You know, I had a great New York moment.
18:20I brought my son.
18:21The first sporting event I ever took him to
18:22was a Knicks game.
18:23And before the game started,
18:24we ran into you, and it was thrilling.
18:26That was who I wanted him...
18:28That's who I wanted him to see first.
18:30But you don't know.
18:31You see how close he is to my ear?
18:32Yeah.
18:33He whispered in my ear.
18:34Let me hold $20.
18:35What?
18:37He asked?
18:37He wanted to hold $20?
18:39I'm his bookie!
18:41I'm his bookie!
18:42You took...
18:43You were taking action from him?
18:45Yes!
18:46He laid some bets down.
18:48He lost three stacks against the Jets.
18:51Oh, no.
18:52Well, now, that's a good transition.
18:53And I want to talk about your show, Reggie Dinkins.
18:55And I will say, I saw you on our friend Jimmy Fallon's show
18:58last week, and things got very off track.
19:01And I want to make sure that we talk about your show.
19:03A lot of people I love, you love,
19:05helped create this show.
19:06Sam Means, Robert Carlock, Tina Fey.
19:07Tina, my sister.
19:08It's a wonderful show.
19:09All my brothers, Sam.
19:11You play a former Jets player
19:13who got kicked out of the league for gambling.
19:15Yeah.
19:16And now you're making a documentary about your life.
19:19Big shots to Pete Rose.
19:21I love Pete Rose.
19:22Yeah.
19:23They mad at him.
19:25He went to his grave,
19:25not going to the Hall of Fame for gambling.
19:27They mad at him because he used a dugout phone
19:30to call his bookie.
19:31Yeah.
19:32So this show is based on that, you know?
19:35But we are here.
19:36Do you feel like Pete Rose should have had a redemption arc?
19:39What, Charlie Hustle?
19:40Yeah.
19:42I had a fight over him because I was playing baseball card,
19:45and this dude took two Willie Randolphs,
19:47a Pete Rose, a Reggie Jackson,
19:50a Rob Gidgett, and a Greg Neckler.
19:51And I said,
19:52You're not leaving this park with my cards.
19:54And I tried to make a deal with him,
19:56but he wouldn't go for the deal,
19:57so I beat him up and took my cards back.
20:00I still collect baseball cards to this day.
20:03I got a Jordan rookie.
20:05Really?
20:06You want to buy it?
20:09Wait, sir, please don't use this time
20:12to sell your baseball card.
20:15Did you?
20:15You played football in high school, right?
20:17Yes, I was a tailback.
20:18I was a halfback.
20:19I was pretty good.
20:20Yeah.
20:20I ran a 4.640 as a junior.
20:23That's really good.
20:23So you did track and football.
20:25Yeah, I didn't do nothing else.
20:26I didn't do no science.
20:27I didn't do nothing else.
20:28The sports, the sports, and that's it.
20:31Sports and cheerleaders, that's it.
20:33Okay.
20:34That's when I discovered girls.
20:36Okay, gotcha.
20:37And that's when I put math and math manual
20:39and all that away.
20:40The football came in handy.
20:41Your first appearance on SNL,
20:43you played William Refrigerator Perry.
20:44Oh, wow.
20:45I remember my very first appearance.
20:47My life has come 360,
20:49because I'm playing another football player.
20:51Yeah.
20:52You're a Giants fan in real life.
20:56Yeah.
20:56You play a former Jet.
20:57What do you feel about people
20:59who root for the Jets?
21:01Do you have sympathy for people who choose?
21:03If you are a Jet fan, a Met fan, or a Nets fan,
21:07you got low self-esteem.
21:08Okay.
21:10You feel like they've just made bad choices?
21:12I heard that your crew is Jet fans.
21:14Yeah, we are all Jets and Mets here.
21:15No, you better move on from them,
21:17because you must smell.
21:19With these guys, your ratings just start going down.
21:21You better come back up
21:21and get some Giant fans to do your cameras.
21:24Now, I just will say, you know,
21:26the Giants haven't really been guns blazing in recent years.
21:29That's because we're rebuilding.
21:31I see.
21:33I'm going to start recruiting for them.
21:35I got some high schoolers for them.
21:38You said you were a former tailback.
21:40How many plays do you think you would survive
21:42if you played NFL football right now?
21:46Oh.
21:48How many plays would I survive?
21:51It took you so long to, like,
21:53change the way you were sitting.
21:54Two?
21:54Two.
21:55Yeah.
21:56But you got to understand,
21:58I used to play for Cleveland.
22:00Cleveland?
22:00Yeah.
22:01They put me in the game now.
22:03I'm just calling the timeout.
22:04That's it.
22:05Which Cleveland did you play for?
22:08I played for the Cleveland Dugout.
22:15The Cleveland Dugout.
22:16Were they a local team, the Cleveland Dugout?
22:18I'm watching you.
22:18I don't like that guy right there.
22:19You don't like that guy right there.
22:20Yeah, he got suspicious.
22:21Yeah, yeah.
22:21We'll get him out during the, uh...
22:24You know what?
22:24I didn't think so either,
22:25but now he's very suspicious.
22:27Keep putting his hand in it.
22:30You know what?
22:31I want to ask you a lot more questions
22:32about Reggie Dickens.
22:33Will you stick around?
22:34Mm-hmm.
22:35All right.
22:36We'll be right back with Barbara Tracy Morgan.
22:46No, I don't want to talk about the cat.
22:48I want to go find it.
22:49Wait, sorry.
22:50You're not seriously planning
22:51on going back out there, are you?
22:53After last night?
22:53Last night was a good start.
22:56Every great cat finder starts with a few dogs.
22:59That's where the expression comes from.
23:01But it's a fool's errand.
23:03I don't even know what that means.
23:04Fools run errands all the time.
23:06That's why Wawa sells sushi.
23:09Welcome back.
23:10We're here with Tracy Morgan.
23:11That was a clip from The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins.
23:15I mean, one of my favorite people
23:17in this business or any other, Daniel Radcliffe.
23:20How do you enjoy working with Daniel?
23:21He is so sweet and humble.
23:23My whole cast, I mean, he's different with me.
23:26He's, we're like, that's my brother.
23:28And, like, we're working, and he's always grabbing.
23:30You know I got hit by a truck and all that,
23:32so he's always grabbing and helping me and moving me,
23:35and he's really on me all the time.
23:38And I love him for that, man.
23:39I love him.
23:40I know you're a, I don't know if you're a...
23:42I'm going to see him this Friday on Broadway.
23:44Are you really?
23:44That's fantastic.
23:46Go Broadway.
23:48You know, I know you're more of a Star Wars guy
23:50than a Harry Potter guy.
23:51Ah, Star Wars.
23:53I went to the Nick game with a female
23:55that's in the Star Wars movie now.
23:57Really?
23:57I told her, I told her that Chewbacca is garbage.
24:03Is this a...
24:03Because everybody knows he's behind in his child support payments.
24:08Chewbacca is behind...
24:09Chewbacca has about four letters and don't take care of none of them.
24:12Oh, my God.
24:13I had no idea this is, I mean, but you are kind of an insider.
24:16What's the guy that Billy Dee Williams, what was he?
24:18Billy Dee Williams?
24:19Lando Calrissian?
24:19Lando Calrissian left a good union job.
24:24He went against the Rebel Alliance
24:26and went and got with the evil empire.
24:29Yeah.
24:30Bad. Bad, bad.
24:33Hey, is it true you once got lost at a zoo when you were young?
24:37When I was younger, yeah.
24:38I was in camp.
24:40My counselor, Spencer, when we first got to the zoo,
24:43he said, nobody throw nothing at the animal.
24:46Sure, that's a good...
24:46What did little Tracy do?
24:48Oh, no.
24:49Start throwing rocks at the monkeys.
24:52So he yelled at me and I ran.
24:53I took off and I was lost in the Bronx Zoo for like four hours.
24:58And they found me.
24:59I was hanging out with some flamingos.
25:02I might have got one of them pregnant.
25:04I don't know.
25:05She laid an egg and I cut out.
25:07I was a deadbeat dad to a flamingo chick.
25:12Very judgmental about Chewbacca based on your own behavior.
25:17I'm young Skywalker.
25:19How's your aquarium?
25:21Multiple aquariums.
25:22Well, I had a 20,000-gallon shark tank in the backyard.
25:25Then I got a pool table with a school of piranha in there.
25:29Really?
25:29Yeah.
25:29So you play pool and there's...
25:31And there's piranha swimming around under you.
25:33Is that distracting when you're trying to play pool?
25:35Not for me, it ain't.
25:38Put some money down.
25:39I'm going to win.
25:41You're going to be worried about your legs.
25:42I'm going to be shooting, moving balls and stuff.
25:46This is as your love of...
25:47You know what I feed them?
25:49Feed your fish?
25:50Yeah.
25:50What?
25:51The dude that's trying to feed them.
25:54Throw your ass in there.
25:57I got to spend no money on no food.
26:01They eat for weeks.
26:03So you have to keep replacing the guy who feeds them then, obviously.
26:06Absolutely.
26:12You're the voice of a fish in a new movie called Swapped.
26:15Yeah, me and Michael B. Jordan.
26:17That's a good cast.
26:18My daughter's in there with me.
26:19Oh, that's fantastic.
26:19Yeah, she has a line with Michael B. Jordan.
26:22Really?
26:22Yeah, yeah.
26:23That's good.
26:24How are your kids?
26:25Are your kids good?
26:25Yeah, they're all healthy and they're doing well.
26:28My son just graduated college.
26:30My youngest son.
26:31Congratulations.
26:31Yeah, Connecticut.
26:32You have it?
26:33My daughter's doing great.
26:34She does nothing but hundreds on her tests and she's beautiful.
26:38That's great.
26:39Yeah.
26:40Hey, I'm a cool dad.
26:41You're a cool dad.
26:42You might be the coolest dad.
26:43You got to seize the moment.
26:45There you go.
26:46Every day you get to be a cool dad.
26:48Mom is always cool.
26:50Mom is always cool.
26:51She the one.
26:52But dad, you got to seize the moments.
26:54Like growing up, my kids are all Harry Potter fans.
26:56Now I work with them.
26:57Yeah.
26:58Do they want to hang out with them?
27:00Do they want to come to set?
27:01Yeah, that's what I tell them.
27:02Dump the garbage, make up your bed, wash your dishes.
27:05Yeah.
27:05When you do that, you get to come to work with me.
27:07That's fantastic.
27:09Well, I mean, I will tell you, I got to work with you for years.
27:11It's one of the best things on earth and it's always great to have you here.
27:14Thank you so much, Tracy.
27:16Tracy Morgan, everybody.
27:18Ain't nobody like him.
27:20The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins.
27:21There's Monday nights on NBC streams the next day on Peacock.
27:24We'll be right back with Kazi Davis.
27:39Our next guest is an actress, director, and best-selling author.
27:43You know from her film I Love You Forever, as well as shows such as 86th and The Umbrella Academy.
27:48Her first essay collection, No One Asked For This, was a New York Times bestseller.
27:52Her latest, Delusions of Grandeur, of Romance, of Progress, is available now.
27:56Please welcome back to the show one of our favorites, Kazi David, everybody.
28:13Hello, Kazi.
28:14How are you?
28:16Uh...
28:18Um, yeah.
28:20No, I'm good.
28:21Yeah.
28:21I mean, we've talked about this both backstage and on camera
28:26and your multiple appearances on the show, you get very, uh, you're anxious about this?
28:30Yeah.
28:31No, there's been, like, a countdown clock, um, for the last few weeks.
28:35Right.
28:35Where I've just been, like, freaking out.
28:37Yeah.
28:38And I can't do anything else.
28:39Like, my entire family's actually in town for my sister's 30th birthday.
28:44Yeah.
28:45They were not happy about my pub date, by the way, which, her birthday's today.
28:49Um, my book about my 30th birthday releases today.
28:53Oh.
28:54That's, I mean, that's like sister, that's a real sister crime.
28:57Yeah.
28:58No.
28:59It was pretty good, though.
29:01Um, but, yeah, so they all are asking me, like, oh, do you want to go get a drink?
29:05Do you want to go for a walk?
29:07And I'm like, I can't.
29:08I have to freak out.
29:10You know?
29:11So I literally, I have to, like, allot all this time to just freaking out.
29:14And that's what I've been doing the last time.
29:15Gotcha.
29:16So I guess at the end of this question, we'd be like, do you enjoy this at all?
29:23No, no, no.
29:23It's like, also, this is the dream, right, is to be able to come on this show.
29:27This is the worst thing.
29:30You're welcome.
29:32Yeah.
29:32It's the worst thing that can happen to you.
29:34Gotcha.
29:36I'm like, like, I'm the level of nervous that, like, an Olympian probably is.
29:42Which, like, I, that's why I can't watch the Olympics, because they're just too nervous.
29:45They are.
29:46It is.
29:46I will say, you know, I can't watch any of the Olympics where falling is an option.
29:51Oh, for sure.
29:52I 100% agree with you.
29:53But isn't that all Olympics?
29:54I will say, in the Winter Olympic, it's a lot of falling, because, like, that's a surface that's, like, so,
30:00I mean, ice and snow are, like, begging you to fall.
30:02Right.
30:03Yeah.
30:03Yeah.
30:04So I totally understand.
30:05So you didn't watch a lot of the Olympics?
30:06No, I don't watch the Olympics.
30:07So for the two weeks before this moment right now, are you, do you get more and more nervous,
30:12or do you just say super nervous the whole time?
30:13Yeah, I've been doing the, like, Jesse Buckley hamnet scream when her son dies.
30:18Oh, wow.
30:19That's the level of Strasterhauer.
30:23How, do you want to give it to us?
30:25I don't think you guys are ready for it.
30:31Do you, uh, so this is your second book of essays.
30:34What is your process when you decide it's time to put more stuff on the page?
30:39Well, it's like you couldn't write a book if you thought about anyone reading it ever.
30:44So you're doing, you're writing the book.
30:45Yeah.
30:46And you're not thinking about that it's going to be published.
30:48Yeah.
30:48You know?
30:49And you're working on it, and you're working on it.
30:51And you're like, nobody's going to read this.
30:52I can't think about anyone reading this.
30:54And then they kind of take it from you.
30:56They're like, it's done, and it has to be published.
30:59Yeah.
31:00And you're like, but no one...
31:01Because they've given you some money, so it's their right.
31:03Yeah.
31:04Yeah.
31:05And there's a date, and it has to be done by that date, or you're, you know, in brief of
31:09contract.
31:09Do you hit your deadlines pretty well?
31:11Yeah, I actually do.
31:12I'm very impressed.
31:13Very hard to do.
31:13I don't think a lot of people hit their deadline.
31:14I have a lot of other really bad qualities, but that's not my fault.
31:19So that's the problem, though.
31:20You hit the deadline, you finish your word count, and then they just take it away.
31:23They take it from you.
31:24It's almost like it's kidnapped, you know?
31:26And you're like, no, like, it's not ready.
31:28No one's supposed to read that.
31:29Yeah.
31:31Like, not a single word in this anyone should be reading.
31:35Gotcha.
31:36This is quite a sales pitch.
31:39Right.
31:40But I will say, I would be more excited to read a book by someone who forgot it was going
31:46to be a book.
31:47Yes.
31:48You know what I mean?
31:48You're like, oh, that's going to be very honest, then.
31:50It's actually incredibly important, after the book is taken from you, to forget all of the contents of it.
31:57Yeah.
31:57Because otherwise, you just won't get out of bed in the morning.
32:00But as I understand it, there is sort of a checkpoint that reminds you of everything you've written.
32:06Yes.
32:07So, basically, you forget everything in the book.
32:10You're like, I just don't want to remember what I wrote about, and that's okay.
32:14I'll stay out of bookstores for a while.
32:16I'll just steer clear of the whole literary world.
32:18It's just going to happen. I'm going to let go.
32:19But then they're like, actually, you have to record the audio book.
32:22Yeah.
32:24And so, they put you in a closet for, like, four days.
32:31And they're like, now you have to recite every single word you said out loud.
32:37And remember, those are the words that will be published.
32:39And you can't change them.
32:41Right. Now it's written in stone.
32:44Yes.
32:44It's like some weird...
32:45It feels like an ancient form of psychological torture.
32:48Yeah.
32:49You know?
32:49Well, because knowing you and knowing the way you approach life,
32:54I'm guessing you're not in the closet with your headphones on being like,
32:57yeah, nailed it.
33:00It's interesting.
33:01It's something a lot of pop stars say.
33:03They'll be like, can't wait for you to hear the new music.
33:06It'd be weird if I was like, you know, can't wait for you to hear the new words.
33:13It's like, I can definitely wait.
33:16But it's also like, there's some things that should just never be said aloud.
33:20Yeah.
33:20And that, for me, was this whole book.
33:22Gotcha.
33:23Yeah.
33:24Did you ever...
33:25And I'm assuming, like, by the way, like, if, look, if I'm your publisher,
33:28I don't want anybody but you reading your words.
33:30Did you ever float to them, like, maybe somebody else should do this?
33:32Like, like, Morgan Freeman or something?
33:38I thought it would be a good idea, yeah.
33:41So you did something.
33:43You've been doing something on social media that I was wondering if we could do now.
33:46You have a skill, a talent, let's say.
33:49I've seen this on Instagram stories, where you rename celebrities.
33:53You feel like all celebrities have a better name out there for them.
33:57So I don't give them a better name.
33:59Okay.
34:00But I kind of...
34:01By the way, this is my only skill.
34:03Okay.
34:03Um, and it's a gift.
34:06Um, but I more read their essence and give them a better name that fits their essence.
34:13Interesting.
34:14It's definitely not a better name.
34:15Okay.
34:16It's just, it's more apt to their essence.
34:20Yes.
34:21Okay.
34:21Do you want to try a few now?
34:23I would love to.
34:23Okay, gotcha.
34:24These are in no particular order.
34:25Okay.
34:26But it might take me, like, I have to kind of read them.
34:28No, no, like, do your process.
34:29Yeah, okay.
34:29Yeah.
34:30All right.
34:32And again, remember, none of this is on TV.
34:42Yeah, okay, because he's not really a jack.
34:45Right.
34:46You know?
34:46Yeah.
34:46I hadn't thought that until now, but sure.
34:50To me, a dodger.
34:54To me, he's a dodger.
34:56Yeah, he's dodger.
34:56Dodger.
34:57Yeah.
34:57This is fantastic.
34:58I stand by that.
34:59I stand by that.
34:59Okay.
35:00Ready for the next one?
35:01Mm-hmm.
35:03Joan.
35:06I mean, now I'm starting to understand how it works.
35:14Okay.
35:16He's not a Michael.
35:17Okay.
35:17So this is a good one because his name doesn't fit him.
35:20Right.
35:21Um, it just doesn't suit him at all.
35:24Sure.
35:24I mean, you're going pretty hard at him right now.
35:29Well, I mean, no offense to Michaels, but I think that's a good thing.
35:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:33To not be a Michael.
35:34Yeah, right.
35:35You're sort of saying he elevates beyond what we've come to accept.
35:38It's a very boilerplate name that, you know, let's be honest, a lot of riffraffs.
35:43I don't think you want to exude Michael.
35:45Yeah.
35:47Um, to me, he's a, uh, a Richie.
35:59I mean, you went pretty hard at Michael to end up at, like, Richie.
36:05I think Richie's a cool, a cool essence.
36:08Okay.
36:09I'm fascinated to see where this one's going to go.
36:11Oh, I've done him before.
36:12Yeah.
36:12Oh, you've done him before.
36:13And do you stand by your original one?
36:15Yeah, I think this one's a good one.
36:16Okay.
36:18Jonah.
36:19Jonah.
36:21That's the most I've agreed with you so far.
36:23Okay.
36:23Yeah.
36:25Um, all right.
36:26Hold on.
36:26Oh, my God.
36:27I'm so glad how many there are.
36:29Okay, here we go.
36:29Like, keep them coming.
36:31Okay, again, we have someone who doesn't fit their name.
36:34See, now, I do feel like she's giving off Rachel's eyes.
36:37This is so not a Rachel to me.
36:39Interesting.
36:40I think she's something that's a little bit more spunky.
36:44Okay.
36:50Don't rush it.
36:51Um, yeah.
36:55Josie.
36:59Now, that's a, we've had a Josie, a Jonah, and a Joan.
37:02Yeah, I do.
37:03You know what?
37:04I have done a few J's.
37:07Um, but they're J-essences.
37:09All right, Jeremy, this is, if I've ever seen a Jeremy,
37:11this is a Jeremy.
37:12No, no, no.
37:12This is not a Jeremy.
37:13This is not?
37:14No.
37:16This, this is a Dante.
37:20That's a Dante.
37:20That's a Dante.
37:21I mean, now I totally agree with you.
37:22That is a Dante.
37:23All right, you also do a, you know, you're a history buff.
37:25Oh, I can do this.
37:26Yeah.
37:31Uh-huh.
37:36Pearl.
37:40Yeah.
37:41Pearl?
37:42Pearl.
37:44Pearl.
37:45Do you think?
37:47You don't think we would have been thrown as a nation
37:49if he was a pearl?
37:51No, I think, I'm glad his name was George Washington.
37:56Yeah.
37:57That's George Washington, right?
37:59Yeah.
38:01Um, his essence, his essence is a pearl.
38:05All right, I'm, I'm putting you on the spot.
38:07Here's your dad.
38:10I know that guy.
38:11Yeah.
38:11So, this is hard.
38:13Yeah.
38:14Because unlike some of the others, he's very much Larry David.
38:18Yeah.
38:19Um, like that, he looks like a Larry.
38:22He looks like his last name would be David.
38:24Yeah.
38:25Um, but I think he could also be, um, a Clyde.
38:30Yeah.
38:32There's a little bit of Clyde vibes.
38:33I think he could be a Clyde.
38:34He could be a Clyde.
38:35Yeah.
38:35I think I'm, I, you know, I'm happy for all of us.
38:37Uh, he's a Larry.
38:38Yeah.
38:38Uh, all right, I, I, I'm going to risk it.
38:44I'm a Seth.
38:47I'm a Seth.
38:47I do think you're totally a Seth.
38:49Yes, thank you.
38:49But I can give you another name that I think you also are.
38:52I, I, you know what?
38:53If I like it enough, I'm going to switch it.
38:57I don't know if you're going to like it.
38:59Yeah.
39:00I'm feeling pretty confident I'm not going to.
39:05All right.
39:07So, to me, you could be a Robin.
39:18I feel like, I feel like it's going to take me a month to process that.
39:24But I'm really happy you shared it with me.
39:25Because I think a lot of people, if they thought that about me,
39:27would like keep it to themselves.
39:29And I think it speaks to our friendship.
39:31Listen, again, I don't think Robin is a good name.
39:33Right.
39:34But it's a good essence, maybe, to have.
39:41That's some real pretzel logic there right at the end.
39:44I am always so happy you're here.
39:46And, come on, it's fun.
39:47You have fun when you're here.
39:48It's fun.
39:49Don't be anxious next time, because I'm going to have you back.
39:51I've never had fun in my entire life.
39:52It's Delusions by Kazi David.
39:55As we have another revival, stick around.
39:57Be right back.
40:07Come join the audience at Late Night, live in Studio A.G.
40:11For tickets, head over to LateNightSethTickets.com.
40:13Follow us at Late Night Seth on all social media platforms.
40:17Subscribe to Late Night Seth on YouTube.
40:19Find us online at LateNightSeth.com.
40:22And subscribe to the Late Night podcast, featuring a closer look, guest interviews, and more.
40:27Available wherever you listen to podcasts.
40:36I want to thank my guests, Tracy Morgan, Kazi David, everybody.
40:40Thank you all for watching.
40:41We love you.
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