00:00yeah her last second to last text was okay thanks johnny because she had just asked how long she
00:05had left so that's j-a-a-n-i and it means it means my love or my life in a weird way kind of
00:16the analogy i think about is the plane right was on final approach it was a half mile away
00:23from the airport it was landing the landing gear was engaged right i mean
00:27all signs pointed to this flight being over over and you could see the literal runway
00:36um in a lot of ways i kind of think about my life being like that even though i was i'm young and
00:42got married young um you know a lot of things were starting to fall into place i had a good job
00:49i was married to the person you know i wanted to start a family with we were starting to think
00:54about where we wanted to settle down when we wanted to start a family right i could kind of see
00:59the proverbial runway in a way um and in an instant this happens and my life is completely turned
01:09upside down it kind of feels like i was just transported back in time to when you know before
01:17i met astra and my life priorities were different and um so you know i've had to
01:26in my own ways kind of unfazed myself as much as i can and try to pick up the pieces and move forward
01:33she would always get me gifts um just small things here and there i mean even the shoes i wear every day
01:40they're kind of breaking down but i feel like you know they were a gift from her and i want to try to
01:45preserve them as much as possible um you know or a hat or a shirt or something like that the gifts
01:51that she gave me i you know try to treasure and just keep forever you'd think in this day and age
01:56we'd have more videos of her and we so we kind of felt like there's not too many videos where she's
02:04talking and laughing i think when we do find one you know him and i are both watching it on repeat
02:11um just being able to hear her voice and hear her laugh um see her smile those are things that
02:18we're trying to grasp onto
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