00:01H1449-6, or as you will now be referred to, Harold Anderson from Seattle, Washington.
00:07But let me warn you, we've given you a great wealth of information about Earth, but her people are unpredictable.
00:12As with all alien cultures, there will be subtleties which we couldn't possibly have prepared you for.
00:17However, given your adaptability and your great capacity for learning, we are certain that you will achieve your goal with ease.
00:24The success of our planet's domination of the universe rests in your hands.
00:30Thank you, sir. Now, if you'll go with these men, we'll arrange your transfer and attach your penis.
00:55Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be beginning our descent into the Phoenix area in about 30 minutes.
01:00Flight crew will be by shortly to pick up all remaining food and beverage items.
01:04Thank you once again for flying Arizona West.
01:07What the hell is that?
01:15What?
01:17There. Inbound at our 2 o'clock.
01:20Jesus, it's moving.
01:21Tell me where to go.
01:28Hydraulics!
01:29Um, landing hydraulics, okay.
01:32Wing and tail hydraulics, okay.
01:34We're losing altitude.
01:35Airspeed is dropping.
01:37What the hell is this?
01:39Collision alert.
01:41Collision alert.
01:42It's us!
01:43Simple people.
01:56There are a thousand years behind us.
01:58They haven't even figured out that round is the most efficient way to fly.
02:01This is going to be a snap.
02:03Remember, get a woman pregnant.
02:05Give me two days.
02:06Wait for the baby.
02:06And then come back.
02:08And whatever you do, don't let anyone know the truth.
02:11We don't want another Roswell on our hands.
02:14Well, that happened because you made the mistake of sending H228-J.
02:18That guy was an idiot.
02:19And not as handsome as me.
02:21Nowhere now.
02:21Hi.
02:39Hi.
02:41Hey, there.
02:42Hey, I like your shoes.
02:44What?
02:45Hey, let me give you a hand there, Gordon.
02:46Sir, please.
02:47I need you to take your seat and fasten your seat belt.
02:49Rebecca.
02:49You know, I always wanted my children to have a mother named Rebecca.
02:53Interested?
02:54Are you all right, sir?
02:56Well, to be honest, I am a little lightheaded from that perfume.
03:01You smell nice.
03:03Sir, if you don't take your seat, I'll report you when we land.
03:07Ouch.
03:08Kitty likes to scratch.
03:13Anyone sitting here?
03:18Well, there is now.
03:19Hi, there.
03:20Hi.
03:21You're shaking.
03:23I thought we were going to crash.
03:25I like it when a woman shakes.
03:26It turns me on.
03:29What?
03:32I like your shoes.
03:34And you smell nice, too.
03:36Going to Phoenix on business or pleasure?
03:38I'm going to see my husband.
03:40Uh-huh.
03:41He's a pharmacist.
03:42Uh-huh.
03:43He works in the pharmaceutical industry.
03:44Uh-huh.
03:45And we had a big fight before I took this plane.
03:47I knew you shouldn't get on a plane without saying you're sorry or I love you or something.
03:51And if I'd been killed, he'd still take a piss off.
03:53I'll see you.
04:02Oh, my愛!
04:05Yeah!
04:06Yeah!
04:07Hey, watch the cart, man.
04:23Do you want me to get you a copy of the F.A. rules and regulations, asswipe?
04:28I do my job, then you do yours.
04:30Stay out of my way.
04:34Give anybody a fucking badge, man.
04:36Hello, Mr. Jones.
04:37What do we got here?
04:38Well, it's hard to say.
04:39It could be bad air, but judging from what I've heard from the crew, it sounds a little more out of the ordinary.
04:44How long have you been with the department?
04:46Three months, sir.
04:47Let me do you a favor.
04:48It's never out of the ordinary, never.
04:50It's either a flock of geese, a weather balloon, or if it's Friday, the crew is drunk.
04:56Yeah.
04:57Nadine, what did I tell you about using this number?
05:00I told you never to call me at this number unless the goddamn house is on fire and I don't hear sirens,
05:05so this better be good.
05:07Yeah, I know today's our anniversary.
05:10What makes you think I forgot?
05:12How do you know I'm not coming home with a bunch of flowers or something along those lines?
05:17How do you know that?
05:19Nadine, don't cry.
05:21Bye-bye.
05:22Bye.
05:23Bye.
05:23One of the passengers was shooting some video when the incident took place.
05:42I thought you might want to take a look at it.
05:43Uh-huh.
05:44Be playing them here, get a list of the passengers and crew, check the cabin, write your report,
05:48and if you see anything at all interesting, just remember one thing.
05:52It's not.
05:52Well, Christmas is early this year.
06:00You guys twins?
06:02Asshole.
06:05Would you like to contribute to the downtown mission?
06:08Sure.
06:08What can I get for 150 bucks, gorgeous?
06:11Oh.
06:12What's that noise?
06:28I don't hear anything.
06:31It's coming out of your pants.
06:33There's something else that comes out of my pants.
06:36Want to see?
06:37Oh.
06:40Shh.
06:40Thanks.
06:43Keep the change.
06:44Can I have your autograph?
06:45I beg your pardon?
06:46Well, you are Miss America, aren't you?
06:48Yeah.
06:49Who are you, Mr. Universe?
06:51Hey, where are you headed?
06:53Chicago.
06:54Oh.
06:55That's attractive.
06:56Oh.
06:57The Windy City.
06:58So what time's your flight?
07:0040 minutes.
07:01Ah, well, I don't know what you're doing until then, but I noticed that there's a Hilton
07:05right across the street, and I don't know if they have a 40-minute write or not, but...
07:10Oh.
07:11Maybe we could...
07:13Taxi?
07:16Taxi?
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