- 6 weeks ago
Gladiator. Normal People. Aftersun. And now Hamnet. Paul Mescal has become a vessel for our many ideas: of grief, lust, longing, masculinity, vulnerability. Whichever image you’ve cast upon Mescal, it is clear that we’ve been watching the first act of a leading man who doesn’t quite fit the old template. Here, GQ’s Adam Baidawi delves deeper with the Irish actor in a bid to establish a stronger, more intimate connection with the man behind the Hollywood facade.
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LifestyleTranscript
00:00Do you regret at all saying yes to this?
00:02Absolutely not.
00:03You good?
00:04I think I'm good. We'll see at the end of it.
00:26How familiar are you with what we're about to do?
00:29I tried to describe it to somebody earlier today, and I said it like I knew it,
00:35and I don't really know what it is, to be honest.
00:38We're going to go through a set of questions.
00:40Instead of each of us answering each of these questions,
00:42you're going to have the opportunity to kind of reverse me on a few of them
00:46where you will answer it.
00:47And then ask.
00:48And then you can make me answer it too.
00:50Okay, so the first pre-question is, you and I have met a few times.
00:54I would say we know each other and are friendly.
00:56Yeah, we're friendly, definitely, I agree.
00:58So where would you put us on a scale of one to seven,
01:01one being strangers and seven being as close as you can possibly get?
01:05One being strangers, seven being, I would say three or four.
01:08I was going to say a three.
01:09Yeah, great. Let's go three.
01:11Are you ready?
01:12Ready, yeah.
01:13Okay, first question.
01:15Given the choice of anyone in the world, who would you want to have over as a dinner guest?
01:20Anybody in the world, they have to be living?
01:27I'll give you dead.
01:28Well, I feel like I, the answer that's coming to my head is,
01:35well, my granddad died when I was young and I feel like I never really connected with him as an adult
01:43because I was an adult when he passed, so I'd probably go with my granddad.
01:46He's like the, in terms of close family, he's the person that I feel least, not least connected to,
01:53but least connected to as an adult.
01:55Do you ever struggle with how much exposure your job demands compared to how private you are in real life?
02:00Yes.
02:01Yeah, I think we've, like, I think it's a tricky thing because the job requires it,
02:08but also I don't have the capacity for what is asked sometimes.
02:18Those two truths are at war with each other sometimes.
02:21Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you're going to say and why?
02:25Do I ever?
02:27I have, but I don't, I'm a phone caller as a per, are you a phone, that doesn't count as an adult.
02:33No, you can, yeah, you can have that one.
02:34I am not a great, like, texter, so I'll regularly communicate things that probably should be communicated over text in phone calls.
02:42What makes you a weak texter?
02:44Sometimes texts feel like obligations to respond to.
02:48You have to open it, to read it, you have to consider a response,
02:53whereas when you're on the phone to somebody, you kind of are just...
02:59If you're, like, fundamentally more anxious leaning, I think phone calling is actually better,
03:03which might sound crazy, but I think that is better.
03:06I get it with the text, when you see the text.
03:08Yeah, voice note.
03:09Yeah.
03:10Better than texting.
03:11What would constitute a perfect day for you?
03:14Honestly, today, like, we both live around a specific park that I am obsessed with.
03:21Yeah.
03:22And I think I'm a winter boy.
03:26Hmm.
03:27Like, this morning, I walked around the park for a little bit before I got picked up,
03:32and I was like, this is perfect.
03:35But that would be the start of the day.
03:37And then, it sounds boring to just be like, go home and watch a document.
03:47Like, do you know that historian David Ola Shogu?
03:50Hmm?
03:51Watch something, and I think he's brilliant.
03:53Or watch a World War II documentary.
03:55Maybe not.
03:56That wouldn't be in the perfect day.
03:57I love history documentaries.
03:59Wow.
04:00Yeah.
04:01I'm just kind of going off with my perfect day now.
04:03Like, what would I do today?
04:04Yeah, right now.
04:05What day of the week is it?
04:06Well, perfect.
04:07You get to dictate that.
04:08It's a perfect day.
04:09So, let's say, Friday, where I'm not called into work.
04:13It's winter, out for a walk, layered up, come back, get a coffee at that specific place
04:22we both know.
04:23I like that place.
04:24Go to that place.
04:25Yeah.
04:26Then, go back, watch a nature documentary, open a bottle of wine at home, maybe have some
04:31friends over, and then go out dancing.
04:34And then, on the way back, order, like, five guys.
04:40Yeah.
04:41A bit of a guilty ooteric that would make you at the door.
04:44Yeah.
04:45Yeah.
04:46That sounds pretty good to me.
04:47Sounds pretty great.
04:48Yeah.
04:49When did you last sing to yourself, and when did you last sing to someone else?
04:53Singing to somebody.
04:54We shot a scene where I was singing to lots of people this week, if that counts.
04:58Hmm.
04:59That's technically an honest answer, I guess.
05:01But when I sang to myself, singing to yourself sounds like a weird sentence, doesn't it?
05:07Yeah.
05:08I sang for myself.
05:09Yeah, in the presence of only yourself.
05:10Yeah.
05:11Yeah.
05:12On Friday night.
05:13What did you sing?
05:14I was writing a song, and I was on my own in the house, and I was singing it.
05:18Didn't know you were a songwriter.
05:20I did that until a little while.
05:22And I don't know if I, well, yeah, I think I, well, I like writing songs.
05:25Oh, wow.
05:26So I did a bit of that on Friday.
05:28And then the time before that, probably at home the week beforehand.
05:34Yeah.
05:35With somebody else, it was great.
05:37If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or the body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
05:47Oh, I wouldn't want the mind of a 30-year-old.
05:50Because I assume that, like, I would love to have the body of a 30-year-old in terms of, like, physical capacity and the mind.
05:57Or are we assuming that, like...
05:59I'm assuming, I think the question spiritually is saying that your mind would have its natural, organic, biological aging process.
06:05See, that's the scares.
06:06Like, that's the fear.
06:07Huh?
06:08I would, like, struggle.
06:10If I had a healthy 90-year-old's mind, that's kind of the dream, because you have the wisdom of the life that has preceded you.
06:19And to have the body of a 30-year-old would be great, because you'd be able to, like, have physical agency.
06:29I think that would be the dream.
06:31But having, like...
06:34I struggle with the idea of, like, your mind wanting your body to do something and it just can't do it anymore.
06:40That's ultimately what's going to happen to all of us, but tough.
06:44Yeah.
06:45It's not a very fun question.
06:46No.
06:47That's true.
06:49In the spirit of not very fun questions, do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
06:54I remember I said in an interview recently that I, like, don't really see myself as an old person.
07:01And my dad called me and was like, I wish you wouldn't say that.
07:05And I understand what he means in terms of, he's right.
07:09But I am turning 30 in February.
07:12And I don't feel good about it.
07:14Not to say that that is old.
07:15I just don't...
07:16I remember being young and seeing, like, my best friend's older brothers and they were, like, 19, 20.
07:22I was like, woof.
07:24That's the age you want to be.
07:26And that's 10 years ago for me now.
07:29I don't know how I'm going to die.
07:31I can't visualize in the spirit of the last question.
07:33I can't see myself at 90 years of age.
07:35Not to say that it won't happen.
07:37I just...
07:38I would be surprised.
07:40Not in a dark way.
07:41I just don't, like...
07:43Like, I hope I get there, but I can't see what that looks like.
07:49Can you see what 90 would look like?
07:51No.
07:52Yeah.
07:53But not in a...
07:54Not in a sad way.
07:55No, it's not in a morbid sense.
07:56It's just like...
07:57So much has to happen before that.
07:58So much has to happen.
07:59And, like, I think maybe I'm nervous about the concept of what has to happen to get to 90.
08:05Like, to get to 90 fundamentally means that, like, parents are gone.
08:09You're going to lose a lot of friends.
08:11Definitely.
08:12And this is a very privileged age now, at 29, 30, where you're, of course, confronted by the, like,
08:20mortality of loved ones, but it doesn't necessarily feel like a very present thought.
08:27That's not true for everybody.
08:28That's true for me.
08:29I feel very lucky that I haven't experienced, like, very, very close people to me become ill and pass.
08:37But I know that hasn't happened for people my age.
08:39Of course, you're confronted with the mortality of your parents all the time.
08:42And as you get older, that's true.
08:44And that's tough.
08:45So, 90, I'm like, it's going to be coming thick and fast, then.
08:49A lot has to happen before 90.
08:50Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
08:51I often think that.
08:52Yeah.
08:53Name three things you and your conversational partner appear to have in common.
08:57Me and you have in common.
09:00I think our core relationships, like, maybe, like, are very, very important to us.
09:04Like, Alex and romantic partners are very important to us.
09:07Yeah.
09:08I think what we have in common is we love the same part of the same city.
09:11Yeah, definitely.
09:12What's another thing that we have in common?
09:16I think we're hard workers.
09:17It's quite good.
09:18Yeah, they're good.
09:19Yeah.
09:20I was going to say black hoodies.
09:21Black hoodies.
09:22Weren't that too?
09:23That's optional.
09:24For what in your life do you feel most grateful for?
09:28I feel very, very lucky with the people that I'm surrounded by.
09:33And I feel like it's expanding, actually.
09:39Like, the important people.
09:40Like, obviously, my family have been steadfast since day one, but I feel like I have a chosen family as well.
09:47And I think I'm a mixture between introverted and extroverted.
09:51But I always feel like when I make a new friend or a new important person in my life, I'm like, that's it now.
09:57And then someone else will come in.
10:00And it's like, I feel very lucky that, like, the circle of people that I love is getting bigger, which is great.
10:08I love that.
10:10If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
10:16And weirdly made me sad.
10:26I think there's nothing that I would change about the way I was raised.
10:31But I would love to take some sort of burden off my parents.
10:40Because I think they just loved us under, like, certain pressures that I don't know if I would be able to do.
10:49If I could go back in time and just be like, to take some sort of burden from them.
10:54Because they worked so hard to give us what we needed.
10:58And I don't think we were, not to speak on behalf of myself, I don't feel like I was grateful enough at the time for that.
11:05I think that's true for children generally.
11:07It's like you're not aware of the bigger picture until you're suddenly like an adult and you're like, Jesus.
11:11How?
11:12The concept of raising a child now.
11:13Yeah.
11:14Which I would love to do.
11:15But, like, this idea that, like, that's wild to me.
11:20Yeah.
11:21In one minute, tell your life story in as much detail as possible.
11:26Born in 1996 in Hollis Street in Dublin.
11:30My mum was a policewoman and my dad was a teacher.
11:33Grew up in Maynooth.
11:36Grew up in an estate called Rockfield first, then I moved to Castle Dawson.
11:41I went to two Irish schools growing up, so we would speak Irish in school.
11:46Played lots of sport growing up.
11:48Thought that I wanted to play Gaelic football as an adult.
11:53Went on stage.
11:54Did Phantom of the Opera when I was 16.
11:56Fell in love with being on stage.
11:59Went to drama school.
12:01Nearly dropped out of drama school.
12:03Loved drama school.
12:05Fell in love with acting.
12:07Really lucky and jumped into a career that was, like, willing to accept me and took me in with open arms.
12:14Fell in love, fell out of love.
12:16Mum got sick.
12:18And, like, extraordinary things were happening in my life around a time that was, like, very full professionally.
12:24And I feel very lucky that all of those things did happen.
12:27Landed in a city that I didn't love initially with people that I love.
12:32And we all seem to have gathered in the same place in the city by accident.
12:35And that's kind of where I'm at now.
12:36Quite well done for 60 seconds, I thought.
12:38In the back of my head, my brain was going, how many seconds is that?
12:41By the way, you're about a third of the way through.
12:42Really?
12:43You're doing very well.
12:44Are we going too fast, do you think?
12:46No.
12:47There's no such thing as too fast or too slow.
12:49If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or ability, what would it be?
12:55Patience, for sure.
12:57I'm not patient at all.
12:59Like, you know when you come across people who've, like, meditated regularly?
13:03Mm-hmm.
13:04You give off patient vibes.
13:06You calm vibes.
13:07Hmm.
13:08I also don't like the word vibes and I used it twice there.
13:10But you give off, like, a patient energy.
13:13I don't think I'm patient.
13:15I never would have thought that about you.
13:17Well, I think, yeah.
13:20People who know me will know that, like, I'm not particularly patient.
13:23Like, emotionally impatient?
13:25Or just, like, want to keep things moving?
13:26No, I think I'm patient.
13:27I think I'm relatively good in, like, a crisis.
13:29I'm patient in, like, in relation to other people.
13:34But I'm not patient at, like, work.
13:36I'm not patient on a day-to-day.
13:37I'm not good in a queue.
13:39I'm not good at, like, sitting still for too long.
13:42Or, like, if somebody says that something's going to take half an hour and it takes 40 minutes.
13:47Or if you're on a, like, an example of this would be, say, you are driving home from work.
13:53And nine times out of ten, it takes 35 minutes.
13:56And then you look at Google Maps and it's 42 minutes.
13:59That drives me nuts.
14:00I'm not driving the characters.
14:01I will Google Maps how long it's going to take home to get home.
14:06And when it, like, if it goes from, like, 35 minutes to 38 and it's, like, plus seven minute delay.
14:12I'd be like, let's just take this.
14:14I can't hear you.
14:15Wow.
14:16Yeah, not great.
14:17Also, I think you're quite a fast walker.
14:18I am a fast walker, yeah.
14:20You've always been a fast walker.
14:21Yeah, I think so.
14:22My mum's a very fast walker.
14:24I see.
14:25I quite admire that.
14:26That's a good trait.
14:27If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
14:37Hmm.
14:38I want, I'll answer this, but I want it in a reverse to buy me time.
14:43What would you, how would you answer that?
14:45Do you know what?
14:46I would say that life, I like not knowing everything that's going to happen.
14:50Yeah.
14:51I really like conspiracy theories.
14:53And, like, there's probably some alien-y stuff that you could pass the crystal ball that's quite cool.
14:58But I would probably use the crystal ball opportunity to, like, I'd say there's some things that I've been holding off doing a little bit.
15:07Right.
15:08So be more immediate.
15:09Yeah.
15:10If there was, if there was some, like, reassurance from the crystal ball, if the crystal ball could act like it's a bit of a artist's therapy and be like, yeah, you should, you know, that thing would work out.
15:17Right.
15:18I'd probably use that to push through some reluctance that I have in certain parts of my life, particularly in art.
15:24Yeah.
15:25Yeah.
15:26The one that was jumping into my head there when you were talking was like, will I, my good answer is yes.
15:34But, like, will I be acting forever?
15:37Hmm.
15:38Is the question that I have.
15:39Because I love it, but I feel like it's very demanding.
15:43I want to have a kind of, like, artistic output for forever.
15:47But I, I think it needs to be something other than acting for me to sustain that.
15:52So that's what I would ask.
15:53Would you be relieved if the crystal ball is like, no, you won't be acting forever?
15:56No.
15:57Because that means other stuff will have happened?
15:58No.
15:59I actually, that's interesting.
16:00I would want the crystal ball to say yes, but it won't only be acting.
16:05It's almost like a relief, like, oh, wow, I pursued other stuff as well.
16:08Yeah.
16:09And then I'd be like, what is it?
16:11What is the other thing?
16:12I feel like you get one thing from the ball, though.
16:14It feels greedy to ask more than one thing from the crystal ball.
16:17Then the question will be, will I be acting for forever?
16:21And if not, what else will it be that I will be doing?
16:24Okay.
16:25You can hedge.
16:26Like, it's just, everyone else will judge you, not me.
16:28You won't get any judgment from me, though.
16:30In what ways do you most feel misunderstood?
16:35That I'm generally sad.
16:37Hmm.
16:38I don't think I'm sad.
16:39I think when I first met you, I thought, he's so funny.
16:42Great.
16:43And playful.
16:44I'm glad that you thought that.
16:45Yeah.
16:46I thought you'd be quite serious before I met you.
16:48And then.
16:49No, I don't.
16:50I think I'm, I don't, I would never describe myself as funny.
16:54I love when other people do.
16:55I'm like, yes.
16:56Hmm.
16:57I think people have a, maybe an assumption that is tied to work.
17:01Hmm.
17:02And I'm a little bit bored of it, to be honest.
17:04The sad thing?
17:05If it was true, I'd be like, that's, that's great.
17:08I also just think, hmm.
17:10I don't understand how we, as an audience, absorb music, art, films anymore.
17:23I think we're very drawn, which we spoke about earlier, this concept of compartmentalizing ideas or themes and then placing them on an actor.
17:33And then also this like whole concept of like fan bases.
17:38Mm hmm.
17:39Fandom.
17:40It's so insane to me.
17:41Do you know there's loads of actors out there that you don't have to like, like tie yourself to one entity.
17:49Yeah.
17:50But like, it'd be like just listening to one band and then refusing to listen to anybody else.
17:57And I think that that is becoming easier for people to do because of visibility and internet and kind of the culture of the internet.
18:08There's maybe an assumption that I am sad, sad.
18:12And I don't think.
18:13You don't think you are.
18:14It's true.
18:15But having said that, I am drawn to grief and love and depression in work.
18:25Because I think it's something that I definitely connect to and it's true for me in moments.
18:31And I do feel an artistic compulsion to express that.
18:37And I feel like I'm good at that.
18:39But I don't think that it is all the same color.
18:45And like a film like Hamnet is a very different color to one of After Sun or Normal People.
18:51Or even something like Streetcar, which maybe you wouldn't see as like something that's fundamentally sad straight away.
18:56It's actually, I think the saddest piece of work that I've been involved in.
19:00Hmm.
19:01I don't think I'm sad.
19:02And I think people might think I'm sad.
19:04It's good to get that on the record.
19:05To get that on the record.
19:06And Adam said that I was funny.
19:08I remember that.
19:10Funny and fun.
19:11Folks.
19:12Yeah, yeah.
19:13It's real.
19:14It's kind of tied back to a previous question.
19:17Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time?
19:20Why haven't you done it?
19:22Maybe it's not a small dream.
19:25I would love to go on a like long backpacking holiday in South America.
19:34And I haven't done it because I haven't had the time.
19:37I was talking to someone recently about maybe carving out time to do that.
19:40Hmm.
19:41Like six weeks, no plan, one backpack, go.
19:46You haven't had six weeks?
19:47That's true.
19:48I have had six weeks.
19:49Why haven't you done it?
19:50I haven't done it.
19:51I think the truth is I've had six weeks, but it's always been in preparation for another
19:57job.
19:58Like it's time spent between jobs.
20:00Like the maximum amount of time I've ever had is like eight, nine weeks.
20:03And half of it, if I was to do eight, nine weeks off, three of those would be like in
20:09bed recovering.
20:11And then the next six weeks would be preparing for the next thing.
20:14Can I, can I gently challenge?
20:16Yeah.
20:17That was so sweet.
20:18Can I gently?
20:19Of course you can.
20:20Yeah.
20:21Very gently.
20:22Do you think any part of it is like, we spent so much of today exploring like projection
20:26of other people, but do you think any of it to do with an actor's anxiety of like the
20:30next job where it's going to come from?
20:32I don't have that.
20:33I think you just genuinely haven't had six weeks to go to South America.
20:37I've had it before this feeling of like next job.
20:40And the fear that I do have is one of not personally desired, but being desired by an audience for
20:49the work that I do.
20:50Hmm.
20:51I'd be lying if I said that I was worried here, sitting here about being employed because
20:55I haven't had that experience since I've graduated from drama school.
20:59And that's one of great privilege, but it's not one.
21:01And as a result of that, I'm not sitting here.
21:03I do have a panic that like suddenly everybody's going to think I'm fucking shit at my job and
21:09then it'll disappear, but not in a kind of tangible.
21:13Not if you like go away, you're going to miss an audition or some call is going to come out.
21:17No, in fact, that's the thing.
21:18And also I haven't, maybe the reason I didn't want to do it is because I really enjoyed the
21:23rhythm that I've been working at.
21:24Hmm.
21:25I think that process began when I was 23 and I'm now turning 30 and it is that thing of
21:31like, oh, I can feel myself wanting to slow down a bit more and certain priorities come
21:35in where I spend my time.
21:36Hmm.
21:37And whether that's with my family or with my partner or with friends, I've never had a desire
21:45to really spend my time anywhere else other than work up until this point.
21:49So maybe that's actually the answer why I haven't done that yet.
21:51And now I do have a desire to not spend my time necessarily in a rehearsal room or on set.
21:58The act of choice being that I do want to be there and I do want to do it.
22:02And then after that, it's like spending time elsewhere.
22:04Hmm.
22:05And how I spend that is maybe around South America.
22:08If that happens for you.
22:10So do I.
22:11What's the greatest accomplishment of your life?
22:14That's hard.
22:18I don't know.
22:21There's so many things that come to my mind with that.
22:24I'm very proud of when I first started working.
22:28I don't know if I was a particularly good friend.
22:31Hmm.
22:32Like in terms of how much time I, like I would just disappear.
22:38I was just like, not like, I was just like, not.
22:42And I think I'm very proud of, not in terms of the friend that I am now, but the journey
22:51that I've gone on with that and been like, oh, I actually show up more than I have before.
22:56You feel more present.
22:57I think the thing that I'm proudest of is I think I'm very proud of how I show up in my relationships.
23:02I think I'm very proud of how I show up with my family, my friends and with my partner.
23:06There's obviously like accomplishments that like relate to career.
23:11The thing that I feel most proud of in my career is actually the relationships.
23:16Because I think that the reason that certain like tangible accomplishments have come out of those things are because of like actually fundamentally loving the people that I made it with.
23:26I have a real world, real life love for Jesse Buckley, for Josh O'Connor, for Andrew Scott, for people that I've worked with.
23:35I absolutely love them.
23:36And I think that's a, that's a big, I've kind of waffled that answer.
23:40But I think the biggest accomplishment in my life is who, who I love and who loves me.
23:44That's probably the biggest accomplishment.
23:45That's a really good answer.
23:46Yeah.
23:47That's really cool.
23:48I'd also say.
23:49What about you?
23:50I want to ask you that.
23:51What's your greatest accomplishment?
23:52That's definitely the deepest question I think so far.
23:55They're actually meant to get heavier as they go.
23:58Really fucked.
23:59Yeah.
24:00I was like, whoa.
24:01I would say that there's like very tangible things in my life that are like clear accomplishments.
24:11How do you feel about accomplishments?
24:13Because I'm proud of like actually certain like tangible accomplishments, but like how do you feel about like receiving those?
24:21I like it.
24:22It feels really good at the time.
24:23Yeah.
24:24But I would say that I put them in the rear view mirror very quickly.
24:26Yeah, for sure.
24:27And I have a big issue with like, I've never been good at marking the occasion.
24:30Right.
24:31I think the great accomplishment of my life is like if you zoomed out is probably to be here now like this.
24:41Yeah.
24:42My family for many generations was in the south of Iraq as these were very, very teensy tiny ethnic minority.
24:50I've been very persecuted over the years and for my parents to have in just one generation gone to Australia, had all that ambition, poured it into that you talked about parenting earlier.
25:04Yeah.
25:05It's like for them to have accomplished all that, warts and all, flaws and all, whatever it had to happen, is like a miracle unto itself.
25:13And I still think it's just like, it's crazy how much happened to our family in one generation.
25:20So almost just being here.
25:23When did your parents move to Australia?
25:25Oh, they moved in the eighties.
25:26Wow.
25:27Late eighties.
25:28That's an amazing transition from that.
25:30They're great.
25:31They're so ambitious.
25:32Yeah.
25:33And however much I accomplish, I will never match their accomplishments because it's, you can't fathom the scale.
25:37They're not even from Iraq's biggest city.
25:38They're not from the capital.
25:39No.
25:40They're from the 10th biggest city in Iraq.
25:42Wow.
25:43To go from Nazaria to where we are today in this house.
25:48That's brilliant.
25:49And where we get to talk about art.
25:50But where does that sit with your greatest accomplishment?
25:53And I feel like part of my journey is trying to put out work or build a life that honors their sacrifice and their own ambition.
26:03Right, right.
26:04And I feel like I'm starting to do that.
26:05You too.
26:06Yeah.
26:07That's amazing.
26:08And if you look at my life holistic, I feel pretty good about it.
26:09Yeah, yeah.
26:10I would say like more tangible on paper.
26:13They're really cool.
26:14Yeah.
26:15And there's a few that have happened to me.
26:16Yeah.
26:17But I move past them pretty quickly.
26:18I know.
26:19I think that's...
26:20It's a bad habit.
26:21I don't know if it's a bad habit.
26:22I think it's a bad habit if you're consciously refusing to accept the fact that it's something
26:25that maybe makes you proud or that you're...
26:27But I also think you can dwell on like past successes in a way that hinders you moving forward
26:32sometimes.
26:33But it's a bit balanced.
26:34I know some people like that.
26:35Yeah.
26:36Can I say something about your answer?
26:37Yeah.
26:38It's a miracle that you're the way you are.
26:39At least from what I know of you.
26:41I was sat at a dinner a few years ago next to an actor who's let's say a generation or
26:46two above you.
26:47Yeah.
26:48Who sort of very...
26:49He's had an incredible career.
26:51And I would say he was particularly white hot in a certain period of the 90s.
26:55Right.
26:56Who was it?
26:57Who the fuck was it?
26:58Spill the beans.
26:59Come on.
27:00And I said to him, you know what?
27:01It's like, it's crazy how cool you are because if I or any other person I know had been in
27:06that white hot center of your career at that period of time, I'm pretty sure I would have
27:10turned into a monster.
27:11I would have been the biggest piece of shit.
27:13And he laughed.
27:14He laughed.
27:15I'm like, why are you laughing?
27:16And he said, because I was a monster.
27:17He was, was he?
27:18He came out and he like, he kind of pulled it back in.
27:20Wow.
27:21And I think whenever I meet someone like you or like quite a few of your peers in London,
27:26I would say.
27:27Yeah.
27:28A good generation of artists, but I'm always impressed by how, how level headed you all
27:32are.
27:33And like, you could be such a piece of shit and you, I'm pretty sure you're not.
27:35Yeah, but this is the thing.
27:36I'm sure there's people in the world that think I'm a piece of shit or that you're a piece
27:39of shit.
27:40Definitely.
27:41And like, all of that is true.
27:42And I think the mistake that I made before was that like, I believed people that like had no access
27:47to my life or who I was, to be fair, I've, I haven't been privy to people like actually
27:54thinking that, but I think it's a mistake to assume that some people don't.
27:57And I do feel very, like that's kind of tied to the accomplishment.
28:03It's like, I think the greatest accomplishment that I feel is that the people that I know love
28:10me are the people that I admire most in the world.
28:13Do you know, that's, that means something, I'm doing something right that that is happening.
28:19It's like, how do you, how do you receive somebody saying, I'm surprised because I don't think
28:24this is what you're saying, but ultimately the point is.
28:26I'm surprised you don't suck.
28:27That I don't suck.
28:28I've come across probably on, out of all the people that I've worked with, crazy talented,
28:34crazy, like astronomically famous people.
28:39And I can count, there's one person that I think is not particularly good.
28:45Who was it?
28:46But every, like I've met, do you know what I mean?
28:49Yeah, I met a lot of people.
28:50I think I've met a lot of people who like you, from an outsider's perspective, you would assume
28:55have the world at their feet and they do in certain instances.
28:58Like it's an amazing privilege.
29:01And even that person that I wasn't particularly like impressed by, they weren't the monster,
29:07cartoon monster that I think people think exists within this industry.
29:10They definitely exist.
29:12Yeah.
29:13I think they're, they're a rarer bird than we think they're.
29:16Yeah.
29:17Which I'm grateful for.
29:18Can you imagine going to work every day and that's what you're surrounded by?
29:21It's either going to wash off on you or you're going to run away from the job that you love.
29:27I continue to think that it's a miracle anytime I meet someone like you.
29:32It's relatively adjusted.
29:33I think it's parents as well.
29:35Family goes a long way.
29:37Yeah.
29:38Do you feel comfortable getting morbid again?
29:40Probably.
29:41If you knew that you would die in one year's time.
29:44Jesus.
29:45Would you change anything about the way you are now living?
29:47If I was to die in a year's time, I probably would pull out of the job that I would, like
29:54I would, like I would, I would not be on set.
29:56If I knew I was going to die in a year.
29:57Ooh.
29:58But I would miss.
29:59You're going to call Sam Mendes and be like.
30:00You're going to call Sam and be like, you know what?
30:01I'm loving this, but I'm actually going to die within the year.
30:04All the best Paul McCartney.
30:05Go on.
30:06No, but then at the same time, it's the question of what I want to like live life as normal.
30:11Yeah.
30:12And my good is that I would want to continue.
30:14I feel really happy in my life at the moment, like really the happiest I've been.
30:18So I think I'd probably stick, stick with it.
30:21I dig that.
30:22Yeah.
30:23Because you might go on there.
30:24Okay.
30:25I'm going to do this.
30:26I'm going to stop walking around the park the whole time.
30:29The frosty park.
30:30The frosty park.
30:31Actually, I'd continue life as normal.
30:34Yeah.
30:35I respect that.
30:36If you're going to become a close friend with someone, share what would be important for
30:41them to first know about you.
30:43Um, I think I can be intense with, I don't know.
30:51What would I first want them to know?
30:53I like that answer.
30:54I think I would be intense.
30:55I think.
30:56What do you have to like, what kind of intensity?
30:58Like the big relationships in my life, like new friends who've come in or like it's
31:05big, they're big and they're like, it's intense and then it will calm down.
31:09Like I'll, I'll warn them that it'd like be pretty intense in terms of, I don't know.
31:13I'm like meeting Harris and, and, and Joe and like I knew Joe from before, but like,
31:19but it's been a very intense, like they're very important, intense relationships to me
31:24and like new friends that have come in, in the last year.
31:28That's quick.
31:29I think, I think I can be intense and I freak out about it a little bit internally.
31:33But how does it manifest?
31:34Are you like, I haven't spoken to you today?
31:36I just want to hang out.
31:37I'm just like.
31:38What are you doing?
31:39Yeah.
31:40When did you last cry in front of another person?
31:42Oh, I don't know.
31:44Uh, I remember one of the more recent times was, what month are we in now?
31:51We're in, I think it was September, September this year.
31:57I probably cried more recently than that, but that's the one that I remember.
32:01Nothing more to add on that one.
32:03It's completely fine.
32:04Yeah.
32:05What if anything is too serious to be joked about?
32:08What if anything is too serious to be joked about?
32:11I think there's many things that are too serious to be joked about.
32:14And I think it depends on who's saying it and why they're saying it.
32:19I don't know.
32:20I think there's so obviously subjects, but I'm actually more interested in like why people
32:24are interested in finding comedy in things that are traumatic for people.
32:32I'm like, if you're smart enough to make a joke about that, there's way easier territory for you.
32:37I'm suspicious of that as a like psychology.
32:41I'm like, go somewhere else with your genius and find something that is more accessible and less.
32:50Maybe the danger is the thing that they're drawn to.
32:52I don't know specifically.
32:54People's heritage, I'm not really into as a bit.
32:58It's a rich history of heritage based bits, I suppose.
33:04Yeah, it's pretty expansive.
33:07But anything like that, anything that people feel connected to or proud of as like, they're part of their being.
33:16And if you kind of insult that or attack that, that for me would be the territory that I'm like,
33:21maybe it's not too serious, but do you know what I mean?
33:24Yeah, I do know what you mean.
33:25I feel like this kind of plays back to your friendship, loyalty.
33:28I'd quite like you in a corner.
33:29I'm good in a corner, I think.
33:31Another way of saying the same thing.
33:32What's something people would be surprised to learn you take very seriously?
33:37What do I take very seriously?
33:40I take baseball very seriously now.
33:42What?
33:43I know.
33:44I take it very seriously.
33:46I got into a reason.
33:47Major League Baseball?
33:48Major League Baseball.
33:49What?
33:50It's true.
33:51Like the last year, I went to my first Major League Baseball game at Fenway Park.
33:57Red Sox fan?
33:58Red Sox fan, yeah.
33:59Irish connection, Boston?
34:00No.
34:01Partner connection.
34:03Huge.
34:04Like right down on the, what's it called?
34:08Like right beside the…
34:09Diamond?
34:10Dugout?
34:11Dugout.
34:12Right by the dugout.
34:13I was into it before.
34:14Like I watched the highlights on my phone every morning in the chair.
34:18Didn't just think to watch cricket or…
34:20I could tell you.
34:21No.
34:22Cricket's less interesting to me.
34:23Yeah.
34:24I'm big.
34:25Red Sox boy.
34:26That's something…
34:27I think that's relatively surprising.
34:28I can follow up with that another time.
34:30Yeah.
34:31Goodness.
34:32Revelations.
34:33Okay.
34:34We got through it.
34:35Yeah.
34:36I feel like you did a lot of heavy lifting there.
34:38Yeah.
34:39I'm not sure if we were truly connected to the original intention of the exercise.
34:42But to follow back up, where would you put us on a scale of one to seven?
34:47One being strangers, seven being as close as you can possibly get.
34:50And we said three to begin with.
34:52Yeah.
34:53I feel for sure more than three.
34:56I feel four.
34:57Yeah.
34:58Comfortable four.
34:59Like comfortable four.
35:00I would say there were moments where it was five-ish, but they were brief.
35:03No, I mean like four.
35:05Like I feel like definitely there was like some six, seven moments in there for me in terms of what was expressed.
35:11But I think overall, like is the question related to us generally?
35:16I think we've gotten closer as a result for sure.
35:19Do you feel like you met your own expectations in terms of like how open you wanted to be, how open you thought you were going to be?
35:24Yeah, probably exceeded them in certain moments.
35:29Yeah, I feel.
35:30How do you feel about it?
35:32Like I said, we spent a lot of today speaking about and exploring like projections.
35:36Yeah.
35:37I think we got onto talent and what fandom means and public and private eye.
35:42I feel like we tried to construct this environment where you're literally in my home.
35:46Totally.
35:47I know.
35:48There's a lot of people in my house.
35:49And I think it was really fun to try.
35:52No, but it's true.
35:53It's like it sets you up in a public, it removes the public side of something that has to be that.
35:58Like it is ultimately an interview, but it helps.
36:02There's a line on there like something like wrapping it up.
36:05Thanks for your time.
36:06Wrapping it up.
36:08Thanks for your time.
36:09After like we've talked about death.
36:11Thanks for your time.
36:12I had a great time hearing your thoughts on death.
36:15I had a great time.
36:16And we're just going to sit here and contemplate death.
36:18Yeah, I think we could just like gradually turn off the lights maybe.
36:21Yeah.
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