00:00I've never, ever been with someone where I'm like,
00:03I need to know your phone password.
00:05That freaks me out, personally.
00:07Hey, I'm Gracie Abrams, and this is If It Were Me.
00:09["If It Were Me"]
00:12Today I'm going through real life confesses
00:15from Cosmo readers and telling you how I would handle it.
00:19I don't know if I'm good at giving relationship advice.
00:21I like to write about relationships, deeply.
00:25All right, let's do it.
00:27The secret agent.
00:28I found my girlfriend's secret spam TikTok account,
00:31and all her reposts are about being
00:33in a miserable relationship
00:34and wanting to break up with your partner.
00:36Do I confront her about the account?
00:37Yes.
00:38What?
00:39Yes.
00:40Confront her about the account.
00:41Say, hey, I actually found this, and I'm, are we okay?
00:46Do you wanna talk?
00:47I would feel deeply uneasy if it were me.
00:50How do you feel about when someone is posting
00:52sad lyrics or sad quotes?
00:55Different, which is maybe, I'm not that person.
00:59I'm not posting them.
01:00I'm instead releasing them into the world.
01:04This sounds deeply specific and concerning.
01:07Playing with fire.
01:08My ex-boyfriend recently moved back to town,
01:11and I want to reconnect,
01:12even though I'm in a healthy dot, dot, dot,
01:15but very vanilla relationship.
01:18Do I reach out and risk possibly losing out on both guys?
01:22I don't like that being the question.
01:24It sounds like maybe there's an opportunity
01:26to do some inner work prior to reaching out to either,
01:32if you're unsure.
01:33I think she should have a conversation
01:37with her current partner.
01:38Let them know they're having this thought.
01:41Just be clear.
01:41Clarity is kindness.
01:43Flying solo.
01:44I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year.
01:46His sister is getting married,
01:47but he told me he doesn't want to bring a plus one
01:49because he wants to spend quality time with his friends.
01:52Should I be concerned?
01:55Yeah, I think so.
01:57If it were my sibling, I'd probably be like,
02:00absolutely, please come.
02:01I would be hurt,
02:03and I would then be concerned in that order.
02:07Gone fishing.
02:08I've always shared phone passwords with exes.
02:12My current boyfriend told me
02:13he's not into sharing his password
02:15because he trusts me completely,
02:16and there's no reason to.
02:17Is this a total red flag
02:18or actually a sign of a healthy relationship?
02:22I mean, I've never, ever been with someone
02:26where I'm like, I need to know your phone password.
02:28That kind of shit freaks me out, personally.
02:31I think if you feel compelled
02:33to search through your partner's phone,
02:36that's a red flag.
02:40To your phone?
02:41Like, we're in the car,
02:42and I'm like, put something on, please.
02:45Yeah, it's not so serious.
02:47It's in passing,
02:48which I guess is the sign of healthy openness.
02:52I suppose, maybe.
02:53I don't know.
02:53I don't know.
02:54I've only been in a few.
02:56The wild ride.
02:57I'm a ride-share driver on the weekends,
02:59and I was picking up a guy late night from a bar.
03:02One thing led to another,
03:03and we hooked up in the back of my car.
03:05Is it weird if I message him on the app?
03:08I don't know.
03:09Is it weird?
03:10I'm a ride-share driver on the weekends,
03:11and I was picking up a guy late night.
03:13I think maybe it's not weird.
03:14Maybe if you hooked up,
03:16and you have questions,
03:17or you're concerned about something,
03:20or you really had a great time,
03:22and you wanna see this person again,
03:24maybe message him on the app,
03:25and then you take it from there.
03:27Maybe.
03:28The late night snack.
03:29I met this guy on Hinge,
03:30and we hit it off,
03:31but after hooking up,
03:32all I get is W-Y-D text at 2 a.m. on the weekends.
03:37The sex is great,
03:38but I'm looking for something serious.
03:39Do I cut him off?
03:40Yeah, or wait and see if it turns into something real.
03:42No.
03:43I don't believe in W-Y-D at 2 a.m. on the weekends
03:47only, then develop.
03:48I think that's sh-tty.
03:50I think that's sh-tty.
03:51It's sh-tty if that's not what you're looking for.
03:55No, f-ck no.
03:57Not today.
03:58The cross-country holdup.
04:00I slid into my Celebrity Crushes DMs,
04:03knowing I was about to move across the country,
04:05and being rejected was the least of my worries.
04:07To my surprise, he said yes to a date.
04:11Is it insane to put off a big move
04:13to go on a date with a celeb?
04:14I think it's insane.
04:16You're moving across the country.
04:19Go, go find someone there.
04:22And also, what a fun story.
04:24You got a response.
04:26What a beautiful thing.
04:27Also, there's something really cool and hot
04:32about asking someone out and then being unavailable
04:35because you're taking care of your own life.
04:37To me, holy sh-t, no.
04:40I feel like I need to also fix my posture and my tone.
04:43I feel like I'm like, f-ck no, but all I mean is,
04:46I stand by my initial reaction,
04:48and I also would say, if you're packed up,
04:50you're ready to move, you have a refundable flight,
04:53you feel like staying one more day to have a story
04:57and giggle, do it.
05:00But if this person really wants to go on a date with you,
05:02it would not be a once-in-a-lifetime.
05:03You would have another, you know what I mean?
05:06Thank you so much for watching.
05:07Happy Valentine's Day.
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