The Wonton Don | The Wonton Don
Category
🥇
SportsTranscript
00:00Have you guys seen our bald friend?
00:02The short one.
00:03Yes, he's over here.
00:05Oh, what's up guys?
00:07I go, have you seen my bald friend?
00:09And they go, the short one?
00:10There's like three guys shorter than me.
00:12I know, I know.
00:20Dave, you going to bring an umbrella?
00:21I don't have an umbrella.
00:22I'm going to go wait in the hotel lobby again
00:24because I'm getting wet.
00:25So we're going to try a local delicacy
00:28called Chardon.
00:30And we were going to walk.
00:31It's like a 14 minute walk.
00:32I just realized it's raining pretty hard right now
00:34and I'm not trying to jeopardize everybody's haircut.
00:37They listed like 30 rules of things you can't do.
00:40You can't crank stick.
00:41You can't be in the rain.
00:43You can't be in the sun.
00:45Didn't they say you're not supposed to eat candy?
00:47You're not supposed to eat like salt.
00:49You can't eat sweets.
00:50Isn't that all food?
00:54Round two, we finally found a large taxi.
00:57We got Noah.
00:58He's our official umbrella guy.
00:59Okay, this is us.
01:01Let's move boys, let's move.
01:03I don't think I've ever used an umbrella in my life.
01:06What exactly is Chardon anyways?
01:09I think it's a sheep's small intestine
01:12stuffed with like rice.
01:14It looks exactly like a penis.
01:16Yes.
01:16Chardon is taking you to eat some Chardon.
01:19Now correct me if I'm wrong,
01:20but isn't a hot dog just a bunch of like pig guts
01:24or beef guts?
01:25Slightly less phallic.
01:26Slightly less.
01:27This one has the nut sack that really puts it over the top.
01:30So we're heading to eat some dong,
01:32but you know what I eat when I want my dong rock hard?
01:36Roman?
01:37Roman Sparks.
01:38Wow.
01:38Yeah, that's right.
01:39And anybody who's watching,
01:41find out if Roman Sparks are for you
01:43by going to ro.co slash baldstool.
01:47Fill out a little questionnaire
01:48and if prescribed,
01:49you'll be able to receive $15 off
01:51your first reoccurring order.
01:52I think I got some sparks on me.
01:54Yeah.
01:55Just a little tablet.
01:56You put it under your tongue,
01:57it dissolves and then on average in 15 minutes,
02:00it goes to work.
02:00So it's the key to faster,
02:02well, it's the key to hotter, spontaneous sex.
02:04Nice.
02:05Nice.
02:06And once again,
02:07that is ro.com slash baldstool
02:09for $15 off your first reoccurring order
02:11if you are prescribed.
02:12Once I'm allowed to have sex again,
02:14I'll be taking Roman up on that.
02:17Yeah.
02:18And Roman Sparks.
02:19Yep.
02:20All you guys got to take two weeks off of sexual activity,
02:22right?
02:23Taking almost 30 years off,
02:24it feels like.
02:25Yeah.
02:25Yeah.
02:26Put your hands warm around the streets.
02:28Fire.
02:29Fire.
02:30Hello.
02:31United States.
02:31Fire.
02:32Yeah.
02:33I think this is in a rough neighborhood.
02:35And then we just go down here, right?
02:37This way.
02:38Yeah.
02:38Yeah.
02:39You got to go deep to get the good stuff.
02:41There it is.
02:44Do they got any Chardon?
02:46Yeah.
02:46Yeah.
02:47It's already cooking.
02:48Oh, sick.
02:49Chardon is here.
02:50Okay.
02:51Great.
02:51Oh, the hair transplants look cool, man.
02:53All right, we're gonna go to the second floor.
02:55That's a good picture of it.
02:56I want to try it.
02:57Yeah.
02:58Yeah.
02:59Everyone tries a bite,
03:00but we might get some other food as well.
03:01Do you guys want any lamb?
03:02I want the lamb too.
03:03I was just about to say.
03:03That lamb looks really good.
03:04That lamb plate looks awesome.
03:05Yeah.
03:06You want Ayron or a Cola?
03:08Ayron's like the sour yogurt that they drink.
03:11It's good for hangovers.
03:13Do you want sour yogurt?
03:14Sure.
03:14Sure.
03:15It's weird.
03:16It's weird.
03:17It's sour yogurt.
03:18It's sour yogurt.
03:19It's sour yogurt.
03:19It's sour yogurt.
03:20It's sour yogurt.
03:21It's sour yogurt.
03:22It's sour yogurt.
03:23It's sour yogurt.
03:24It's sour yogurt.
03:25Let me get a sip.
03:25I don't think I've tried this.
03:26I can see why that'd be very good for a hangover though.
03:29Like actually.
03:30Good for a hangover, yeah.
03:31Like a healthy remedy for it.
03:32Kids love it.
03:33And I don't mind it.
03:35It's definitely just weird.
03:36So the shirdan, it's a lamb intestine, right?
03:40Yeah, yeah.
03:40Something like that?
03:41Yeah, the lining.
03:42The lining is from the intestines.
03:43And then it's filled with rice?
03:44Yes.
03:45Is it a lamb or a sheep?
03:46When you're eating their stomach,
03:48I don't think there's probably a huge difference.
03:49Probably.
03:52This is it.
03:53It's got an interesting look, for sure.
03:57Shirdan.
03:59Yeah, it's a little hot.
04:00All right, just, you know, just a tip.
04:02Give it a little sample.
04:09Try the ball sack.
04:11Oh, I'm going to attack that thing.
04:17It's not bad.
04:18I like it.
04:19That looks like a thick intestinal wall.
04:21It's a bit more than a hot dog casing.
04:23A little bit more.
04:24Oh no, I don't like that at all.
04:26I'm going to do ball sack.
04:31You know what?
04:32Yeah.
04:32It tastes pretty good.
04:33I don't think I've eaten the whole thing, though.
04:35It doesn't really have any flavor.
04:37The texture of the outside's obviously a little weird.
04:39It's not bad, but it's not, it's like, fine.
04:41I've never been teabagged.
04:43Is that when you wake up and this is just on your forehead?
04:46That's what it implies, yeah.
04:47I feel like they did this on purpose,
04:49just trying to make it look like a penis.
04:50It's got the wrinkles like a ball sack.
04:52That's the intestinal lining.
04:53Get in there, Donnie.
04:57Like, even Turks are like, they won't eat it.
04:59They won't eat it.
05:00One of the more phallic foods I've ever seen.
05:02The filling's not bad at all.
05:04I don't love the taste of intestines,
05:06so it's got a little bit of aftertaste,
05:07but there's really not a strong taste at all.
05:09I have to say, the shack was better than my balls.
05:11As you can see, it's all gone.
05:13We ate everything except for the ball.
05:15Last bite.
05:17All right, I'm done.
05:18I've got a different appetite.
05:21So that's the doughnut kebab.
05:24All right, who wanted these, because these look awesome.
05:26I will definitely try some.
05:28I'll try a piece.
05:29My favorite part about this cuisine,
05:31it's so light, you can eat a ton of it,
05:34but you still don't feel like trash.
05:37I think we're about to get this guy
05:39the best wet burger in Istanbul.
05:41That'd be my go-to drunk food in Turkey.
05:43And then we're definitely gonna get Dave
05:45some Turkish ice cream,
05:47if he can actually get it from the guy.
05:49I'm very excited about this.
05:50I keep hearing they're doing tricks with the ice cream.
05:52I do not have any idea what that can entail.
05:55No, they don't do any tricks.
05:56It's just really good ice cream.
05:57Yeah, if tricks are no tricks,
05:59I'm sure it'll be a delight.
06:01Hello.
06:02Yes, ma'am.
06:03Oppa.
06:04Oppa, oh.
06:05Oppa, woo-hoo, oppa, oppa.
06:09Woo, oh my God, oh my God.
06:12Mix, mix.
06:13Panda California, then, huh?
06:16Thank you, bye-bye.
06:18Where is the ice cream?
06:20Voila.
06:22Woo, hello.
06:24No, no, no, example, um.
06:26Buddy.
06:28All right.
06:29Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
06:32That's gonna be just head-butted, that guy.
06:35That is.
06:35Oh.
06:38All right.
06:41That was good, Dave.
06:42I have never seen someone beat a Turkish ice cream guy.
06:45That was fast, too.
06:46I thought they were undefeated.
06:47It takes some time.
06:48Afterwards, I grabbed a nightcap
06:50at the only shameless theme bar in Istanbul
06:52and maybe the world.
06:56Then we headed back to the hotel.
06:58All right, and that wraps up our Istanbul dinner stroll.
07:02How was everything?
07:03A plus, as always in this city.
07:05This city's just, everything that you touch turns to gold.
07:08I love it.
07:09Dave beat a Turkish ice cream guy,
07:11which I've never seen before.
07:12I heard people talking up there in an alley,
07:14saying that they were the first time
07:16that it's ever been done in Turkey's history.
07:19I think it's like 1,500 years old.
07:21Yeah, I think I was the only one who said that, but.
07:24Got to bed early that night,
07:25as tomorrow was our last full day in Istanbul,
07:28and we wanted to make the most of it.
07:33Good morning, Nicky.
07:34Good morning, brother.
07:35I got something for you to try.
07:37That looks like a penis.
07:38Cut off the tip.
07:39Are they circumcised at breakfast?
07:41Yeah, just the tip.
07:43Yeah, yeah.
07:44Okay, not for you.
07:46I've never had a cold.
07:48This guy's as swollen as a fucking rag.
07:51Look at that, isn't that crazy?
07:54I look like a fucking Megamind.
07:56It definitely doesn't look normal.
07:57I don't think he ever leaked.
07:59I think he still has all that solution in his head.
08:01Is it ever going to come out?
08:04I don't know, dude.
08:05You might just be,
08:06you might just have soggy brain from now on.
08:08Can I touch it?
08:09Yeah.
08:10Only your forehead.
08:11Ooh, yeah.
08:13Oh, that is, oh my God, dude.
08:16That's got to come out.
08:17Richard from Maine left early,
08:18had to get home to the family.
08:20Sizes for shirts are different in Turkey.
08:23So he bought a couple XLs.
08:25Turns out they were sized more like larges.
08:27He couldn't wear them, gave them to me.
08:28He has awful style, that guy.
08:31I feel like Aladdin in this shirt.
08:32Well, thankfully we'd be heading to the Grand Bazaar today
08:35where Dave could upgrade his style however he saw fit.
08:38Look at all these fucking scalps, dude.
08:41I'm kind of regretting getting a zero buzz.
08:44I wanted like a one or a two.
08:47I only did it.
08:47I only did it for 30.
08:48It looks like you was hanging upside down.
08:49Leave me alone, Jones.
08:53Dave, is my forehead bad?
08:55I mean, it's, it's not good.
08:56Dave, you got a little bit of a tit.
08:58Yeah, I know.
08:59Yeah, but I think mine is the worst.
09:00Rogue's got a bonus fake tit on his forehead.
09:03Stop.
09:04It's because I've been laughing too much
09:05on this fucking trip.
09:06That fucking video of Eddie being the godfather
09:08fucked my forehead up.
09:11Oh my God, I can feel it moving.
09:22Oh my God.
09:23Oh, you love the dead.
09:24Oh my God.
09:25I always had the biggest forehead,
09:27but now it's just like even bigger.
09:28Jones, stop.
09:31They're gonna think I'm a fucking tourist attraction.
09:33Look at this fucking idiot's forehead.
09:35To get to the Bazaar, we first have to hop on the Tunnel,
09:38the world's second oldest subway line.
09:40Whoever names the correct year that this was opened
09:43gets a free pair of sunglasses at the fig market.
09:451875.
09:46All right, you know, you're the history guy.
09:47Shit.
09:48It also says it right here on the wall.
09:52Jeez, Dave.
10:02It's only one stop.
10:03That's the entire subway.
10:06Yeah.
10:08We're now in the hardware district.
10:11If you guys need any tools or anything,
10:12if you need like a doorknob, this is the place to get it.
10:15These are the like really famous fish wraps.
10:18We'll grab fish later.
10:19Super Mario?
10:20Oh shit.
10:21Turkish Mario slanging fish wraps.
10:24Marat the fisherman.
10:25So he is not a plumber.
10:27Are these like celebs?
10:29Fish wrap?
10:30All right, we'll come back.
10:32Six, five.
10:34Oh, this guy's also a Super Mario.
10:36Oh, I think it's like a chain of Mario fish guys.
10:40My name is Hakan.
10:41Oh, hello Hakan.
10:42I know.
10:43Hello, hello.
10:44All right, now we're hopping on the tram right up here.
10:48Can I see the, can I see it?
10:49Yeah.
10:50We were kind of kidding about that.
10:51We were just kind of like messing with you.
10:53About what?
10:54The hair.
10:55We didn't, you didn't have to do that.
10:56I mean, I really wanted to just get it like a really
11:00high class Turkish haircut.
11:01I mean, it's great that you did,
11:02but we didn't really care that much.
11:05Someone, looks like someone got hosed.
11:07We were kidding, right?
11:08Yeah, I don't think anyone was.
11:10No one would have been like, oh, that was just playful.
11:12We were like, oh, like, what if you shaved your head too?
11:14And then he did it.
11:15It was like, oh, yikes.
11:16It was at that moment, I wanted to murder Rudy.
11:19All right, everybody watch your heads.
11:21Paulo, hold on to something.
11:23All right, he's good.
11:27The tram dropped us off in front of the column
11:29of Constantine.
11:30So this was built by the Constantine
11:33who named the city Constantinople.
11:35It's the oldest ancient ruins still left.
11:40In the entire city.
11:40So this used to just have like a giant statue
11:43of Constantine on top of it too.
11:50And after a short stroll, we arrived at the Grand Bazaar.
11:55Okay, we are now in the Grand Bazaar.
11:58I think the largest and oldest covered market
12:01on the planet.
12:02And there's all these crazy alleyways and stuff.
12:06Yeah, sure.
12:10Oh my God.
12:11It's like a magic lamp.
12:12What if the genie just punched you through?
12:14Yeah, he just, I get like a cum shot straight to the eye.
12:17This was a market back during Roman times too.
12:20Oh, wow.
12:21Yeah, so this has always been a market.
12:23Romans always like Gucci?
12:25No, no.
12:26It's famous these days for selling knockoff designer goods.
12:30And that's exactly what Dave was in the market for.
12:33I would love that color.
12:34This color?
12:35And that color, yeah.
12:36Smokes, come here.
12:39I was just worried he didn't have the haggling skills
12:41to avoid getting hosed.
12:42How far away?
12:43So I made sure to shadow him closely.
12:46Oh shit, where are we going?
12:48Oh yeah, this is what I'm talking about.
12:50My friend, do you want lacoste?
12:52Yeah, we need three of them.
12:54Three pieces?
12:55Yeah, three tracksuits.
12:57Dolce Gabbana, Dolce Gabbana, look Balenciaga.
13:01These are kind of nice.
13:02So this one is your large.
13:05Can I try the sandals?
13:06Yeah, yeah, yeah, no problem.
13:07So, this one is XS.
13:09All right, I'm gonna try it on.
13:11Do you want anything Balenciaga, XS?
13:13Yeah, perfect.
13:15These other pants probably have XS.
13:17You only have the, this is the only other XS on this one.
13:19This one XS?
13:20Yeah, yeah, but you don't have the pants.
13:21Yeah, that's hard.
13:22Guys, they don't have that and another XS on that.
13:24Do you want Balenciaga?
13:26Yeah, do that one.
13:27Yeah.
13:28This one XS.
13:29I'll do that, I'll do that.
13:30All right, I'm definitely taking this.
13:31I'm wearing it off.
13:32I'm gonna wear it all the time.
13:33I'm wearing it off.
13:34Oh, I'll take water.
13:39Which one do you like?
13:40You can put in here.
13:41Also, look, we have t-shirts.
13:43I dropped it, I'm sorry.
13:44No problem, bro, no problem.
13:45Can't bring this guy anywhere.
13:48Try to work out maybe like a group deal for these three.
13:51If they get three tracksuits, how much per tracksuit?
13:54So, each one $180.
13:57All right, how about if we do three for $140?
14:03Each one?
14:04No, all three for $140.
14:07When you say $140, are you talking lira or USD?
14:11He's talking US dollar.
14:12Yes, $180 each one.
14:15I make for $160 good price, open price,
14:19like $160, $160, $160.
14:22How about $50 USD, $50 USD, $50 USD?
14:26No, sir, really no.
14:27Yeah, come on, man.
14:28I got $75 for you.
14:30Sir, no.
14:31All right, slow down.
14:32I tell you $150, $160 my max price.
14:35No, no.
14:36Look at the stitching in the gator's mouth.
14:38Yeah.
14:39Excuse me, this one is set, you can't check it, look.
14:41I think Dave's dropping an anchor at $75.
14:44Okay, give me a good price, I can give you, not $75.
14:46What about $100 flat?
14:47I got $100, that's my max.
14:49$75, $75 each is fair.
14:52I can't do more than $100.
14:54It's like $30 to $100.
14:55I think you should have stopped at $75, Dave.
14:56Dave got too excited.
14:58I think we had him at $75.
14:59Really?
15:00Do you have cash?
15:01$130, $130.
15:03No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:04$100, that's it.
15:06Okay, okay, okay, okay, no problem.
15:10I'll be back in, I got to find an ATM,
15:13where's the closest ATM?
15:14No problem, I'll check it out for you.
15:16How much was the t-shirt?
15:17$40.
15:17You shouldn't pay more than $20 for that.
15:19Yeah.
15:20Sir, $20 really, believe me, it's not coming in.
15:23Listen, this isn't my first trip to the Grand Bazaar.
15:26The t-shirt, I could only pay 100 lira for.
15:29Take off my t-shirt, please.
15:30I think we had him at $75,
15:32and then Dave just had to go up to $100.
15:34I shouldn't have opened my mouth.
15:36If I do all these, how do I get all this for $100?
15:39Yeah.
15:40Sir, $100 this t-shirt.
15:42No, no.
15:43This tracksuit and the shirt.
15:44Yeah.
15:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
15:47$100 for both.
15:48No, why?
15:49Because he's already paying you $100 for that.
15:51Like best quality.
15:52No, this isn't best quality.
15:54I mean, hey, I'm sure it's not bad, but $100.
15:58Bro, bro.
15:59Bro, bro, bro, bro.
16:01You're getting a great deal.
16:03Also, $400 you will pay me.
16:05All right, so you got this for $100 total.
16:08I want lira.
16:09Let's go to ATM.
16:10Let's go to ATM.
16:11How much is $400 lira?
16:12I feel like that didn't go as well as I thought.
16:15I thought it would.
16:16Yeah, no.
16:20That's coming in.
16:21That's $3,000 right there.
16:22$3,300.
16:23$3,000 also you'll get paid for.
16:24There's $200.
16:25Yeah, boom, boom.
16:26And then here.
16:27Because that covers both our $100.
16:28Yes.
16:29No, no, no, no, no, no.
16:30Here, we're done.
16:30We're done.
16:31I didn't do any haggling,
16:33and I think he just gave me a deal
16:34because he was just sick of it.
16:35Yeah, I don't blame him.
16:37I saw what I needed to see.
16:43I got what I needed to get.
16:45I haven't slept for a week.
16:47All right, so I don't have to walk around here
16:49and watch White Sox State bounce around on a pogo stick
16:52to buy a fucking, you know, a chef's hat
16:56when I could just be sleeping.
16:57So, I'm out.
16:58$100.
17:00$85, that's what I can do.
17:01$125 for you, $110.
17:03$85.
17:04$110, cash money, cash money.
17:05$85, that's fine, that's cash.
17:06I got card.
17:07Card, okay, card, okay.
17:08Card for $85.
17:09Okay, $100.
17:11No, no, no, no, hold on.
17:12$90 is my last offer.
17:14Yep, I miss you $100, Allah, Allah.
17:16I didn't say yes to that.
17:18Okay, $95, look what we know.
17:19All right, $95, okay, yes.
17:21Oh my God.
17:23Like, this is the most smoked fucking jersey of all time.
17:26I can see it right now.
17:27Crypto rug pull in your future.
17:28You look like every dude that Jason Statham has killed
17:31in every action movie.
17:32And I look like a size 28.5 Spalding basketball player.
17:37We were telling Spokes earlier,
17:38like, stop thinking so much.
17:41You're getting clogged up, all the thoughts.
17:43All this math, converting there to USD
17:45is blowing my head off.
17:47There's an over thinker.
17:49How much did you pay for the jersey?
17:51It was like $27.
17:52$27?
17:53Yeah, these are like half, less than half the price.
17:56You guys need me more than you know.
17:57Should I get one of these?
17:59How much for this?
18:01This one?
18:02It's $70, this one, it's better quality.
18:04$30.
18:05It's $70.
18:06That's my final offer.
18:07In grandfather, you look around,
18:09you can't find like this.
18:10Come on, then I'll give you another $20.
18:13I didn't help you.
18:14I didn't say he's gonna help you.
18:14So I'm bad here, okay?
18:16Okay.
18:17Normal, believe me, I'm not selling.
18:18I'm just telling you.
18:20Thank you, sir.
18:21Are you getting it?
18:22I guess so.
18:23What'd you just pay?
18:25$200,000?
18:26Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
18:29It's $200 USD.
18:30You're gonna pay $200 USD for just one Louis Vuitton bag?
18:34Yeah, is that too much?
18:34Yeah, you're getting absolutely hosed.
18:36Okay.
18:37Yeah, so I got mine for like $45.
18:39Wait, was it like a huge bag?
18:40It was a laptop.
18:41Oh, it was a laptop bag?
18:42You should be paying like 50 tops for that.
18:45He was actually about to get hosed.
18:47I actually just saved it.
18:48I saved it.
18:49It's not always easy getting a bargain at the Grand Bazaar,
18:52but you know what is easy?
18:53Getting $15 off your first reoccurring order
18:56of Roman Sparks, all you gotta do is go to
18:58ro.co slash baldstool.
19:00You fill out a questionnaire to see if it's right for you,
19:02and if prescribed, you're getting $15 off.
19:06Roman Sparks are a little capsule
19:08that you put under your tongue, it dissolves,
19:10and on average, in 15 minutes, it gets to work,
19:13and you'll be having hotter, more spontaneous sex.
19:16So, if you're interested, once again, that's ro.co
19:19slash baldstool.
19:20No, that's-
19:21How much are you paying?
19:221,000 Lira?
19:23He'll do 500.
19:24I'll do, I'll-
19:26He'll do 500.
19:27For both, I'll do 1,500.
19:28So, you guys ever read the art of the biopic,
19:30you know what I'm talking about?
19:31This is like the biopic of that.
19:33All right, give me this together,
19:34please, I'll just pay for it.
19:36No, no, no, together with this, I'll give you 1,750.
19:40Yes, yes, it is possible.
19:42Yeah, you can make that happen, too.
19:43It is possible.
19:44All right, Dave, I know another guy.
19:46He would've suckered me, I was pulling out my cash.
19:48No, no, I thought he was then gonna come back to us.
19:53Damn.
19:54Usually, walking away works.
19:55I thought he was gonna say, okay, okay.
19:57Where do you guys think he is from?
20:02I don't even know where that is.
20:04What do you guys think would look best
20:05on my unborn child?
20:06I think they're gonna be-
20:07This?
20:08Yeah.
20:09All right, I'm gonna get the Fendi.
20:10How much?
20:1320.
20:1525?
20:1730 is the last price I can do.
20:20All right, cool.
20:22Oh, no, I think we lost Dave.
20:24He's definitely getting hosed somewhere here.
20:26Have you guys seen our bald friend?
20:28Yes, I have seen him.
20:30The short one.
20:31Yes, the short one.
20:32He's over here?
20:34Oh.
20:35What's up, guys?
20:36What's up?
20:37Buy and watch this from me.
20:38I go, have you seen my bald friend?
20:39And they go, the short one?
20:41And I was like, yes, the short one.
20:43There's like three guys shorter than me.
20:45I know, I know.
20:46I figured I'd get the fellows back home some gifts.
20:49Nick loves to play chess,
20:50so I thought I'd get him a chess board,
20:51because I just saw this.
20:52It's really cool.
20:54One half of the players are Romans,
20:57the other half are Ottomans.
20:58That's very cool.
20:59Did you try to haggle at all?
21:01No, no.
21:02I just don't have that gene in me, I don't know.
21:03Yeah, no, it's super awkward.
21:06It's not pleasant.
21:07Also, I feel like that last time,
21:08you said you tried to haggle.
21:09That didn't go well at all.
21:10I got you down to 100 from 180,
21:13and I was gonna go even lower,
21:15but then Dave stepped in and was like, I'll pay 100.
21:18Okay, watch this, watch this.
21:20Thousand lira.
21:22For this one?
21:24You trust me, it's a very good price, it's 1,800.
21:26He'll leave.
21:27You don't know this guy like I do.
21:29Go walk out.
21:301,500.
21:32That's a very good price.
21:33Let me give you for the first deal,
21:34you choose if the small animals or the lamb,
21:36I give you the price.
21:37Oh, see, now you're getting a free animal.
21:39Do you have any elephants?
21:40My mom loves elephants.
21:42I don't care about your mom.
21:43Well, I'm the one who got you this deal,
21:44so maybe you should get me an elephant.
21:46You know what, Donny, that's true.
21:47Without you, this doesn't happen,
21:48so this is my gift to you.
21:49All right.
21:50I came in, I started haggling a little bit,
21:52and now I'm getting my mom a free elephant.
21:54Oh, there you go, dude.
21:55You also owe me this,
21:56because you're the one who convinced me to shave my head,
21:58and then the moment I shaved my head,
21:59you're like, oh, you shouldn't have done that.
22:00I was just joking.
22:01I was about to slap you in the face.
22:04There you go.
22:04All right, my mom's gonna be pumped.
22:06Dude, honestly, I think you might be onto something.
22:08I go in there like, oh, I don't like to haggle.
22:10Yeah.
22:10And then good cop, bad cop.
22:12Right.
22:13Yeah.
22:14All right, we just lost Dave again
22:16after leaving the Grand Bazaar.
22:18Hey, Dave?
22:19Nice.
22:20Sorry.
22:21Did you just buy some Jordans?
22:22Yeah.
22:23Really?
22:24Yeah.
22:25Oh, sick.
22:26Nice pair of fours.
22:26Nice.
22:27How much did you pay for those?
22:28900 lira.
22:29That's like $12 or something.
22:31All right.
22:32Every single person that comes up to Dave with an offer,
22:34he's like, all right, let's talk about it.
22:35Same problem.
22:36You can't sit here.
22:37Same problem.
22:38Oh, yeah?
22:39Same problem?
22:40Yeah.
22:41After shopping, we linked up with my old tour guide.
22:44This was my tour guide two years ago.
22:47He now is a lot more swagged out.
22:49He's a legal guy.
22:51Now real guy.
22:52Oh, yeah?
22:52I didn't know he was a legal guy last time.
22:54It's good to see you, man.
22:56How's everything?
22:57All right.
22:58You can carry my bag.
22:59That one is for you.
23:01What's this?
23:01Is this a vape?
23:02Water pipe.
23:03Oh, let's go, dude.
23:04He got me a sour apple ice vape.
23:06I was running low on my last one.
23:09We're walking to the spice market if you want to come.
23:12All right, cool.
23:13Let's go, dude.
23:14Checked in on Salt Bay.
23:15That's the first Salt Bay restaurant ever.
23:17It's also the cheapest one.
23:19Very historic.
23:20All the legends of Turkish history.
23:21Yeah.
23:22You got Mehmet the Conqueror?
23:24I don't know.
23:25You can take a photo of Salt Bay if you want.
23:27Sprinkling some dandruff on your bald heads.
23:30Grabbed the best beef shawarma in the city.
23:33Since 1969.
23:34Let's go.
23:35Yeah.
23:42It's delicious.
23:43Yeah?
23:44Best one I've had since New Year.
23:45It tastes like a Philly cheesesteak.
23:47Yeah, good.
23:48Really good.
23:49God bless everyone.
23:51God bless you.
23:51You're the best one.
23:52You're the best.
23:53Oh, no.
23:55Is Dave buying something again?
23:57Okay, nevermind.
24:00You eventually learned to spot
24:01the shit quality of the bazaar.
24:03Shit quality of the bazaar.
24:10Swung through the Egyptian bazaar one more time.
24:13Turkish charcuterie.
24:17Okay.
24:18Are those the lamps you were talking about?
24:20Oh, wow.
24:21Oh, this is cool.
24:22I'm gonna hitch a ride on that.
24:23We make these in Istanbul.
24:25It's all handcrafted.
24:27Then grabbed taxis back to our hotel.
24:29This guy is packing up on the highway right now.
24:33That's why we pay him the big bucks.
24:36As that night, I had rented a boat for all the balds.
24:40Oh my God, what a visual that has to be.
24:44I mean, what are the odds
24:44that you just get this elevator?
24:46How do we look?
24:47You want two keys, four keys, five keys, 28 keys.
24:50I feel like Nico Bellic.
24:51I'm just the Irish henchman.
24:57Suit's actually not bad.
24:58Like, I'll like, this is nice pajamas.
25:03All right, boat reveal in one minute.
25:05Should we have him take us to the Black Sea?
25:07Have him take us to Crimea?
25:10Yeah, we're going to Crimea, boys.
25:12We can get shit-faced blackout wastes tonight, right?
25:15No.
25:16I wish.
25:17I think you could have a couple.
25:18Yeah, you could have a beer.
25:27I'm OBJ.
25:28Once the yacht pulled up,
25:29our first order of business
25:31was recreating the New York Giants' boat pic.
25:33Why? I don't know.
25:35No, come up a little bit, and like, point your left hand.
25:38No, listen to him.
25:38He doesn't need, he, I see.
25:39He's looking at the photo.
25:41Wait, what photo are we trying to replicate?
25:43The Giants' receivers all on the boat.
25:45When they took the photo of the boat,
25:46and the whole Caesar belt order.
25:48I'll go stand right there, and then it's like, what show?
25:51Not a show, it's the New York Giants.
25:54Boom, nailed it.
25:55We just recreated the Giants' photo in Istanbul.
25:59This is fucking electric.
26:01Unlike the Giants, we're not going to look back
26:03on this photo with regret.
26:04They've lost twice as many games
26:06as they've won since the photo.
26:08This is better than I would have thought.
26:10That's what I say, this is the good life right here.
26:12That's like the perfect table.
26:16Now it was time to hit the Bosphorus,
26:18AKA the strait of water that separates Europe from Asia.
26:21I did bring a bathing suit.
26:23Currents are dangerous, then second is hypothermia,
26:26so you need to.
26:27Oh, you don't got to worry about the hypothermia.
26:29It wouldn't be my first cold plunge.
26:31That part is the Asian side.
26:33Other side of the water here, you can see this old city.
26:36It was the capital of Roman Empire.
26:39Between 330s, then 1543, Turks took over, Ottoman Turks.
26:44The name changed to Istanbul.
26:46This is one of the most historical places in the world.
26:48Istanbul, Rome, and Athens, these three cities,
26:51they have the highest number of UNESCO World Heritage.
26:55Hagia Sophia is my favorite thing in Istanbul.
26:58In this tiny road, you're going to see so many palaces
27:01and you will understand why Ottoman collapsed, right?
27:04All the money, 75s, 200 sheets.
27:08This was private party palace.
27:10I had my high school prom.
27:12Holy shit.
27:14Dude, he had his high school prom there.
27:16What?
27:17What the fuck?
27:18So, Russia and Ukraine negotiate here?
27:21Yeah, they meet here.
27:22Wow.
27:23The Sultan Suite is the most expensive hotel room in Turkey
27:26and I guess eight or nine most expensive hotel room
27:29in the world.
27:30How he's going to be able to afford it
27:31after his hair grows, huh?
27:32$55,000, yeah.
27:3455,000, yeah, per night.
27:36But this is for normal rich?
27:38This is for stupid, like Jeff Bezos rich.
27:41Yeah, so it's like Dave Portnoy, Jeff Bezos.
27:44While there were zero females on the boat.
27:46Dude, you look like an absolute don.
27:48You look like the Wolf of Wall Street, right?
27:50And all the hair transplantees have been told
27:52to avoid salty food, sugary food, alcohol,
27:56nicotine, and caffeine.
27:57We're not allowed to have anything.
27:58No sugar or salt.
28:00We have potato chips and Coca-Cola.
28:02We still had a good time growing out.
28:04Yeah, Nicky!
28:06Hey, how are you?
28:07What in Turkey?
28:08Welcome to Utah.
28:09And we're blessed with the most beautiful sunset
28:12of the trip.
28:13Oh, this is sick.
28:14We're in heaven.
28:14We're in heaven.
28:15For real.
28:16For real.
28:17This is insane.
28:18This is Dave looking into the sunset,
28:19looking into his future as a man who can choose
28:22to have hair or be bald.
28:23Yeah.
28:24We won't.
28:25We won't.
28:26We won't.
28:26We won't.
28:27We won't.
28:28We won't.
28:29We won't.
28:30We won't.
28:31We won't.
28:31We won't.
28:32We won't.
28:33We won't.
28:34We won't.
28:35We won't.
28:36For everyone, well, everyone except for me,
28:39could relate to the trauma of being a balding man
28:41in the modern world and had bled together
28:44on that operating table in hopes of turning the page
28:47on a brighter future.
28:55How are we feeling, Dave?
28:56Favorite city on earth.
28:57I don't want to leave.
28:58Sorry, Chicago.
29:02This bad boy, 5,400.
29:03Time to get help with that.
29:045,400.
29:06Look at that.
29:06Look at that view.
29:07The boat was incredible.
29:08So worth it.
29:09Dude, seeing the sunset over the Bosphorus is unbelievable.
29:13That was one of the coolest things I've ever seen.
29:19After the boat, we went out for one last group dinner.
29:22I think we all deserve it to ourselves
29:24to have a nice meal.
29:26Yeah.
29:28He gave a great photo.
29:29Yes, he did.
29:31Peace.
29:34Are you getting some hits on Bumble, Paolo?
29:36He gets some hits on Bumble.
29:37Already, dude.
29:38The hair effect, man.
29:39Someone did tell me that pretty much they're all prostitutes.
29:41Yeah, they're all prostitutes.
29:42Yeah.
29:43If I get hosed again, what would you do to help?
29:46She would take him for everything he's worth.
29:50I'm not going to lie.
29:51I'm not going to lie.
29:52I'm not going to lie.
29:53I'm not going to lie.
29:54I'm not going to lie.
29:55I'm not going to lie.
29:55I'm not going to lie.
29:57Ah, very nice.
29:59We all had flights the next day.
30:02So the following morning,
30:03gathered in the lobby to say our final farewell.
30:07All right, everybody, gather around.
30:08Have some final thoughts on the trip.
30:10Rudy?
30:11Yep.
30:14All the way up.
30:19That's good.
30:21Now, I know in my welcome speech,
30:23I mentioned that you all arrived in Turkey, bald losers.
30:27And now that I'm bald myself,
30:28I realized that may have been a little harsh.
30:31But that's besides the point.
30:32The point is that we are no longer bald losers.
30:36We are a brotherhood of bald friends.
30:41Bald friends filled with hope,
30:44for we shall not be bald for much longer.
30:47And that is all thanks to Este Nobe.
30:50So here is to new horizons,
30:54new possibilities, new beginnings,
30:57and most importantly, new hair.
31:05I couldn't have asked for a better group of guys
31:09to share this experience with.
31:10So appreciate you all putting your faith in me.
31:12And I'll see you guys in nine months.
31:14You're going to look like new human beings.
31:17Hey, give it up for Donnie.
31:20Thanks, Donnie.
31:25Shout out, White Sox, Dave.
31:26Shout out, White Sox, Dave.
31:29Shout out, me.
31:30Yeah, you were the original guinea pig.
31:33Now I got a whole fucking herd of guinea pigs here.
31:37Rudy.
31:38Dave.
31:51Dave, do you want to say a few words?
31:53We gotta get up.
31:54We gotta get up.
31:56Raise them up.
31:59Jesus, easy on that thing.
32:01I'm easing it.
32:02All right, I'm not really one for public speaking
32:03as most of you know,
32:05but this was the trip of a lifetime.
32:09Thanks to all you guys for being bald.
32:10Thanks to me for being bald.
32:12Thanks to Rudy for being more bald than me.
32:15Special shout out to Donnie for having the crazy brain
32:19to conjure up all these weird ideas.
32:22Shout out to our fantastic production crew.
32:25Of course, shout out to SA Nova.
32:28What an unbelievable hospitality experience they brought us.
32:32And shout out to SA Nova.
32:34This place is fucking awesome.
32:36So we'll see you guys in like nine, 10 months.
32:39Get nice and shit faced together for the first time
32:42and we'll rip it up with hair.
32:44Yeah.
32:45That's all I'm getting.
32:48Did we get powled up there?
32:49Yeah, powled.
32:50Powled up.
32:51Powled up.
32:52Powled up.
32:52Don't get almost there, bud.
32:54I'm just gonna plunge into the sea, you fucking fuck.
32:58Okay.
33:04I'm generally better with speeches
33:05when I have like a moment to actually gather my thoughts
33:08and think about what I'm gonna say.
33:10And a lot of what I probably would say has been captured,
33:13but I guess when I started this journey,
33:15I really wasn't sure like how things were gonna go.
33:18Would I get along with everyone?
33:20Would people like me?
33:21Would, you know, the clinic be good?
33:26Would I get great service?
33:27Would I stay, would the city be amazing?
33:31And fortunately, you know,
33:33everything I was looking for I found on this trip
33:37and I'm really glad that Donny was able to organize this.
33:41It really, you know,
33:42I always knew I wanted to get a hair transplant.
33:44I never knew when, and this is kind of like, you know,
33:47the spark that pushed me to do it
33:49because I knew I'd be doing it with a great group of guys
33:51and it would just make the adventure, you know,
33:55more palatable, I guess,
33:58and more enjoyable for everyone involved.
34:00And I think you achieved that goal for all of us.
34:03And I just want to thank you all, all of Barstool,
34:05everyone here, you've been amazing.
34:07You've been so gracious.
34:10And yeah, I can't think of anything else to say.
34:13Hello!
34:17From balding strangers to bald friends.
34:20Yeah.
34:21We will soon have him.
34:22We will soon have him.
34:22Let's put it in for Barstool.
34:25Pal up, break it up.
34:26One, two, three, Barstool!
34:30That's it.
34:50Best wet burger in town.
34:52It's pretty wet.
34:54Oh, this is good.
34:55That's what I'm talking about.
34:58I went to Turkey, I got the procedure.
35:00There was two options.
35:01You could either shave it completely bald
35:03or you could get this.
35:05I said, sure, give me this.
35:10Excuse me, skip bus number.
35:12It's okay, Steve.
35:13Join us for your flight.
35:14Skrrt, my minions.
35:16And then this is what I look like after.
35:18Hair looks good, hairline looks great.
35:19And now we wait.