A struggling sportscaster in New York City dreams of making it big but finds himself stuck in a dead-end job with little hope for a breakthrough. Everything changes when he accidentally acquires the former phone number of a famous basketball star. Suddenly, he’s receiving calls and messages meant for the athlete, giving him unexpected access to the glamorous world of professional sports. Seeing an opportunity, he uses the mistaken identity to his advantage, gaining attention, wealth, and influence. But as he dives deeper into the deception, the pressure mounts, and his web of lies begins to unravel. He soon faces a critical choice—continue chasing success built on falsehoods or risk losing trinianpal450 everything to reclaim his true self.
Comedy / Romance
We welcome you to the "Kettle movie" - a place where every viewing becomes an exciting journey into the most diverse worlds of cinema. Here we open the curtain and lead you into the most vivid emotional impressions, unfolding before you a wide selection of films of the most diverse genres.
Drive and Action, Fiction and Fantasy, Drama and Adventure, Comedy and Satire, Romance and Melodrama, Action movies and Thrillers, Science Fiction, Detectives and Crime, Family and Animation
Comedy / Romance
We welcome you to the "Kettle movie" - a place where every viewing becomes an exciting journey into the most diverse worlds of cinema. Here we open the curtain and lead you into the most vivid emotional impressions, unfolding before you a wide selection of films of the most diverse genres.
Drive and Action, Fiction and Fantasy, Drama and Adventure, Comedy and Satire, Romance and Melodrama, Action movies and Thrillers, Science Fiction, Detectives and Crime, Family and Animation
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Guys, I'm gonna make this right.
00:00:01The ride's over, Brett.
00:00:02Yeah, you're on your own, pal.
00:00:03Now, fellas...
00:00:07Come on!
00:00:10Who would have thought a simple change of phone number
00:00:12could have caused so many problems?
00:00:14You actually thought that you could use my old number
00:00:18and pretend to be me for your own personal gain?
00:00:22You moron!
00:00:23Go right ahead.
00:00:25Judge me.
00:00:26Girls?
00:00:26But to fully understand the pickle I got myself into,
00:00:30I think we should start from the beginning.
00:00:31You hug the seat,
00:00:33and you, big boy,
00:00:35you go right up the middle.
00:00:37Ready?
00:00:39No, man. No cuts.
00:00:42Time out.
00:00:42Hey, baby.
00:00:43Aren't you supposed to be at work?
00:00:56We're the kids in the school
00:01:02We get trashed and we break all the rules
00:01:05They try to drag us to the office, but what can they do?
00:01:10We've puffed, puffed, puffed socks
00:01:13A cigarette till we've gotten enough
00:01:16The teacher's pulling out their hair
00:01:17Cos there's nothing they can do
00:01:19We're problematic youth
00:01:21Hey, mister
00:01:23We ain't going nowhere
00:01:27Hey, mister
00:01:29We ain't going nowhere, nowhere, nowhere, nowhere
00:01:39Tall boys hit the streets
00:01:41With such a ruckus, it awakens the treason
00:01:44They like to bargain, but it's time-locked
00:01:46What can they do?
00:01:50We ain't going nowhere
00:01:53We ain't going nowhere
00:01:56And that, my friends, is how a guy catches a Class A case of The Stink.
00:02:01How you gonna box me out?
00:02:02Come on, I'm gonna dis the box out right there.
00:02:04Right there. Boom. Boom.
00:02:06Oh, God.
00:02:06Oh.
00:02:08You didn't need that.
00:02:10It's great.
00:02:10One way to make more room in the truck.
00:02:16Nice.
00:02:18Ah, piss warm, but so big.
00:02:21Mmm.
00:02:22Boy, Revented Yoga Pants deserves a Nobel piece-of-ass prize.
00:02:30What?
00:02:32We gotta talk.
00:02:34You got The Stink, ready boy?
00:02:36And a bad motherfucking case of it.
00:02:38I'm not kidding.
00:02:39Ever since Jules dumped my sorry ass.
00:02:41Tell me about it.
00:02:42That girl full of puked in her mouth when she saw you.
00:02:45All you have to do is be confident in who you are
00:02:48and you can have anything or anyone you want.
00:02:50Yeah, fake it till you make it.
00:02:51Act like you're packing a baker's dozen.
00:02:52Ooh.
00:02:55That's your phone again?
00:02:56I'll check it later.
00:02:57What is that? Oh, that's Jules, ain't it?
00:02:59Yes. Ain't it?
00:03:00Hey, give me the phone.
00:03:01Hey, give me the phone.
00:03:02Give it up. Give it up.
00:03:03Come on.
00:03:04What the?
00:03:05Come on, Chi, don't.
00:03:06Holy shit, Pazman.
00:03:08Jules just sent Brett a text of her blowing some dudes.
00:03:11Don't fucking tease me like that, Chi.
00:03:13This one plays for the Jets, and unlike you, he has endurance.
00:03:17Oh, that is grim.
00:03:18It only happened one time.
00:03:20It was supposed to be a quickie.
00:03:21Let me see it.
00:03:22Mm, give me my phone.
00:03:25Topping it all off, I was forced to wash down
00:03:27the shit sandwich of Jules' cheating
00:03:29by moving to where the rent was cheapest.
00:03:31Hey, boys.
00:03:35Hey, Ma.
00:03:38Here we go, boys.
00:03:39We got 30 seconds left, G.
00:03:41Check it, we're going to steal this game.
00:03:42Keep counting your chickens, son.
00:03:44My founders are still up by one.
00:03:45Yeah, but we got the saint.
00:03:46Yo, do your thing, cuz.
00:03:47This is where Tyson St. James is magic.
00:03:50He's watching the clock tick down.
00:03:52Seven, six, five, and the saint comes hard to the hole!
00:03:57Oh!
00:04:00Saint, saint, saint, saint, saint, saint!
00:04:03Oh!
00:04:04Welcome back, I'm Vance Avery,
00:04:06live from the Knights' locker room,
00:04:07and that was a sizzle-riffing game one.
00:04:10Philly came tonight ready to play.
00:04:12There he was, my childhood idol,
00:04:15a New York hero, the saint,
00:04:18living the dream with millions of dollars,
00:04:20a supermodel wife, and endless talent on the court.
00:04:23Oh, thanks, Vance.
00:04:24I feel, uh, it was a good game.
00:04:26You know, I've got to give all the credit
00:04:27to my teammates, the coaching staff,
00:04:29our owner, Phil Page, and of course,
00:04:31the big guy, God.
00:04:33So, my son has the stink.
00:04:36Go do something about it, I say.
00:04:38Look at these ballplayers,
00:04:39not much older than you, most of them,
00:04:41and not a stinky one among them.
00:04:43Michael, he has a successful landscaping business.
00:04:47Thanks for saying.
00:04:48Garrett is a well-paid suit.
00:04:49Thank you, Marie.
00:04:50And you got bupkis.
00:04:52Thanks, Ma.
00:04:54Except a nice face and a silver tongue.
00:04:59You want to be a sportscaster, be a sportscaster.
00:05:02It's not that easy, Ma.
00:05:04Nothing's easy.
00:05:06I took out a second mortgage to pay for six years of college,
00:05:10and here you are, back at home, unemployed.
00:05:14I'll get another job.
00:05:15What you need to get first is a good girl.
00:05:18Or just go out and bang out an ugly one
00:05:19and rebuild from there.
00:05:21Thanks, I'll get right on that.
00:05:23Well, not with this, you won't.
00:05:25Ladies pick up on the little things like duct tape
00:05:28and disgusting BJ pics from exes.
00:05:33Well, Jules does have nice breasts.
00:05:37I'll give her that.
00:05:39A skank's a skank.
00:05:40Tomorrow, when you go job hunting in the city,
00:05:43I want you to get a new phone and a new number.
00:05:47Oh!
00:05:48Ma, was that really necessary?
00:05:50I can't afford a new phone.
00:05:52Well, listen, I am doing you a favor.
00:05:56Go prosper.
00:05:59And get yourself laid.
00:06:04A little birdie told me this in my ear.
00:06:06Now, if New York wins the finals,
00:06:07is it true that you'll be donating
00:06:09a million greenbacks to charity?
00:06:12You're a good bitch.
00:06:13Stage not.
00:06:15But yeah, I've agreed to donate my bonus to Jump Higher,
00:06:19a charity formed by our team owner's daughter, Nikki Page.
00:06:22Wave to the camera, boo.
00:06:23Nikki was perfect from the moment I saw her.
00:06:26Look at that girl.
00:06:28But why would a high-class girl like her
00:06:31ever want a schmuck like me?
00:06:33She deserved a prince or a saint.
00:06:36That was a nice plug on the charity bit.
00:06:39Very good.
00:06:39Oh, you betcha.
00:06:40S-man.
00:06:42Sure thing.
00:06:43So, uh, you got my kickback?
00:06:48Have you lost your mind, motherfucker?
00:06:50Shut your mouth and know your role.
00:06:52Scar be in touch.
00:06:56How about the boss's daughter, though?
00:06:58A shitty charity is worth a million
00:07:00if I get to tap that ass.
00:07:03I'd be tapping.
00:07:06Yeah.
00:07:07Huh?
00:07:14Hey, hey, baby, what's going on?
00:07:18Ah.
00:07:21Who are these whores?
00:07:21Wait, wait, wait.
00:07:23Son of a bitch.
00:07:24Congrats, daddy.
00:07:26Let's hook up soon.
00:07:27XOXO, you beg?
00:07:30God damn it, girl, that hurt.
00:07:33I told you, I don't know who them bitches are.
00:07:36I swear.
00:07:37I had the same number since my rookie year.
00:07:40It's getting late.
00:07:42I had a big night.
00:07:43Now, come on.
00:07:45Get in the bed and let's celebrate.
00:07:46Whoa.
00:07:51Yeah.
00:07:54That's what I'm talking about, baby.
00:07:56Serve your king.
00:07:57Yes, yes.
00:08:00Ah, what the fuck, Deanna?
00:08:02I told you I had that phone since my rookie year.
00:08:05Well, now it's broke.
00:08:06You need a new phone with a new number.
00:08:08And, amore, no puseta until finals are over.
00:08:12What?
00:08:13Wait a minute.
00:08:13You know I can't function without the puseta.
00:08:15Oh, too bad.
00:08:17If I find you cheating on me,
00:08:19I ruin you right before I take half your money.
00:08:22Capisci?
00:08:25I make love to showerhead tonight.
00:08:35♪♪
00:08:39Brad Reynolds?
00:08:41As in, the actor?
00:08:43Uh, that's Burt Reynolds.
00:08:45Okay, I'm supposed to meet my friend.
00:08:47Are we almost done?
00:08:49♪♪
00:08:52I want you to smack yourself in the face.
00:08:54Hard.
00:08:55What are you talking about?
00:08:56I'll dunk your head in the bucket
00:08:57until I call you back.
00:08:58All set.
00:09:00My guy slipped your phone into the system.
00:09:02Backdated six months.
00:09:04Untraceable.
00:09:05I just need you to sign a number.
00:09:07One achievement.
00:09:08Well, there's a lot of options.
00:09:10Damn, all my people had that number.
00:09:12Might take some time, but I'll get the word out.
00:09:13What we built.
00:09:14That one.
00:09:16Good choice, Brad Reynolds.
00:09:19Just be careful,
00:09:20because John's keeping a close watch.
00:09:22Maybe you should abstain until the finals are over.
00:09:24Abstain?
00:09:25Are you serious?
00:09:26I'm not like other athletes, Scar.
00:09:28I need sex.
00:09:29My game depends on it.
00:09:31I know, baby, I know.
00:09:33It was a relief to be free of texts from crazy jewels.
00:09:37But what I got instead was a stream of cryptic messages.
00:09:42York House.
00:09:43Fool, I've been kicked out of there twice.
00:09:45Mickey Page has always been an obsession of mine.
00:09:48If I can bang that out, I know I can win the finals.
00:09:52On it.
00:09:53Meanwhile, there's an escort waiting inside.
00:09:55Custom fit.
00:09:58She know what she's signing up for.
00:10:00Already paid her extra.
00:10:02Room 1302.
00:10:06That reminds me.
00:10:07I should call this guy back before he drowns.
00:10:09Yeah, you do that.
00:10:11That afternoon, Paz helped me hunt for temp jobs
00:10:13by calling around to his buddies in the Blue Collar Mafia.
00:10:17You have no idea how much power
00:10:19these guys actually wield around town.
00:10:22Don't believe me?
00:10:23Talk to the deputy mayor
00:10:24when City Hall's sewage pipes back up next Thursday
00:10:27and crap flows like the Nile.
00:10:29The mob can kill you.
00:10:31But the BCM can make your life miserable.
00:10:38Yo, what's the emergency?
00:10:40You're not gonna believe this, man.
00:10:41What?
00:10:42I get a text on my new phone, right,
00:10:43telling us to go to the York House.
00:10:44Now, I think it's just you messing with us,
00:10:46but when we get there, look what's waiting for us.
00:10:52Gold bling and killer bud, dude.
00:10:55Stop playing.
00:10:56Fucking sweet, right?
00:10:57What do I do, G?
00:10:58I just stole thousands of dollars.
00:11:00Stole?
00:11:01Bro, this is a swag bag.
00:11:04A what?
00:11:05Gratis.
00:11:06Rich people get this shit for free all the time.
00:11:08Keep it, dog.
00:11:11Oh, that's pimp.
00:11:13Really, I'm not sure how I feel about this.
00:11:16Well, how about we test out this spankity-dankity
00:11:20and then see how you feel.
00:11:25I'm in.
00:11:26Just, if you're wondering, I'm in.
00:11:28Definitely.
00:11:29So I did what any red-blooded American would do.
00:11:33Got high as a kite.
00:11:34And by the time we finished smoking,
00:11:36my phone was blowing up.
00:11:38Again, this thing is nonstop.
00:11:44I say we go.
00:11:45It's because you're stoned and stupid.
00:11:47I say we return the phone.
00:11:48What?
00:11:49Come on, yo, this is Oz.
00:11:50That's, like, the hottest club in town.
00:11:52If you want to meet movers and shakers,
00:11:54Mr. Sportscaster,
00:11:55that is where they hang.
00:11:56And what is your question, monsieur?
00:11:59So, I think my wife is sleeping with a co-worker,
00:12:01but it could also be in my head
00:12:03because my numbers are down this month
00:12:05and he's killing it.
00:12:06What do you think?
00:12:07Never look a butterfly in the eye
00:12:09when it's time for bees to mate.
00:12:14Yeah.
00:12:16Yeah, you're right on me.
00:12:17Thanks a lot, man.
00:12:18Thanks a lot.
00:12:19Here's something extra for you.
00:12:21Fuck that bitch.
00:12:23Gotta love this guy.
00:12:24He's a fucking Yoda of hot-door cars.
00:12:26That made sense to you?
00:12:27Yo, you're next.
00:12:28Ask him about Oz.
00:12:30Two footlongs with mustard and ketchup.
00:12:33And, Henri, I have a question, too.
00:12:36So, there's this club, like...
00:12:38Time is a precious flower, monsieur.
00:12:40Allons-y, Zedko.
00:12:42Should we go to Oz
00:12:43or should I return the phone?
00:12:45It is what it is.
00:12:47It be what it be.
00:12:48Sometimes, there's a dog.
00:12:50Sometimes, there's a tree.
00:12:54Okay.
00:12:56Yo, yo, yo, yo.
00:12:57My main man, Henri.
00:12:58The usual.
00:12:59Will I...
00:13:00Oui, monsieur.
00:13:01You will get laid tonight.
00:13:02Deux fois.
00:13:04I told you.
00:13:05Fucking Yoda.
00:13:06Hey, Henri.
00:13:07I already know the key to the universe is pussy,
00:13:09so I'm gonna get two dogs heavy on the crowd.
00:13:14What do I got to lose?
00:13:25Oz was everything I dreamed it would be.
00:13:28Where the pretty people rubbed elbows
00:13:30in various other body parts.
00:13:32The guy who had this number before me
00:13:34had a life that I didn't.
00:13:36And right about now, I need it.
00:13:44Hey, so the boy told us to take care of you,
00:13:46so we're gonna put you on that prime seating area.
00:13:48That'll work.
00:13:49It will.
00:13:50So, who's your boy, anyway?
00:13:51So, who's your boy, anyway?
00:13:52I knew this was a bad, stupid,
00:13:54dumb, moronic, idiotic idea.
00:13:57Honestly, I have no idea.
00:13:59Good kid.
00:14:00Way to keep it discreet.
00:14:01Listen, the bottle's on us.
00:14:02Don't even tip.
00:14:03And big sweat knows
00:14:04he'll let you bring ladies up from the dance floor.
00:14:06You need anything?
00:14:07Have a good time.
00:14:13She's cute.
00:14:14She's like the Barbra Streisand,
00:14:16but now, my time.
00:14:18Guys, I'm gonna roll a few appletinis
00:14:20and circle back.
00:14:21And don't worry,
00:14:22the Paz man's got it under control.
00:14:30Listen, if you're not gonna at least
00:14:32pretend to try to impress me,
00:14:33I'm never going home with you.
00:14:35Hey, uh, how about we head to my crib
00:14:38and smoke a little cheaper?
00:14:40I'm in.
00:14:41Okay.
00:14:42Gotta find Paz.
00:14:44Let her know we're out.
00:14:45Let's split up.
00:14:46I got the girls.
00:14:49Focus, son.
00:14:50Find a game.
00:14:51Don't be stinking up the stabbing cabin.
00:14:54Ladies.
00:14:59Consider this to be your fucking night.
00:15:01Get your hand off of me.
00:15:03Hey, what the...
00:15:04Hey, man, that's enough.
00:15:05Hey, who the fuck are you?
00:15:06Enough.
00:15:07I'll end you.
00:15:08Oh, yeah?
00:15:11Whoa.
00:15:16Hey.
00:15:21Oh.
00:15:23It's you.
00:15:25Do I know you?
00:15:26No, no, I'm, uh...
00:15:28Yo, front!
00:15:35Oh, no.
00:15:37Excuse me.
00:15:39Yeah.
00:15:44Get over here.
00:15:48No, Paz.
00:15:49Not the dick.
00:16:00Okay.
00:16:01All right, buddy.
00:16:03I danced.
00:16:04I danced.
00:16:05Yes, you did dance.
00:16:06I danced.
00:16:07Oh, man.
00:16:08I did the cha-cha.
00:16:09I danced.
00:16:10You did.
00:16:14Wow.
00:16:16This is his address.
00:16:17You take the tunnel, he'll wake up on Route 3.
00:16:20He always does.
00:16:21Thanks.
00:16:22Good night, buddy.
00:16:25Hey.
00:16:26Pimp cell phone case.
00:16:27Hey.
00:16:29I wanted to thank you for saving me from Mr. Date Rape.
00:16:33I owe you.
00:16:36Brett, right?
00:16:38Yeah, and you're Nikki.
00:16:41How did you know that?
00:16:42I do know that.
00:16:43Oh, I saw you last night, but not in a stalker way.
00:16:50Hey, how you doing?
00:16:51I'm G, and I would like to apologize for everything he just said.
00:16:55Yeah, I mean on TV, your charity.
00:16:58Are we, like, going or, like, not?
00:17:02Yes, absolutely.
00:17:07Looks like you're in for a treat.
00:17:10Actually, the girls are both going home with G.
00:17:16Later.
00:17:19Wow.
00:17:21You need a cab?
00:17:23No, no, I'm actually waiting for my friends.
00:17:27Oh, cool.
00:17:30You maybe want to go out sometime?
00:17:32A fellow Knights fan?
00:17:35Nice.
00:17:36And you weren't actually going to go home with T.O.D.?
00:17:40No.
00:17:41Because that would have been a really big sacrifice just to ask me out.
00:17:47Well, I am asking.
00:17:53Wow.
00:17:54A lot of unread messages.
00:17:56Party invites.
00:17:58Nikki, come on.
00:18:00Don't lose my number.
00:18:02Not a chance.
00:18:04Bye.
00:18:05Bye.
00:18:08Wow.
00:18:10I couldn't believe it.
00:18:11In a single day, I had partied with New York's elite and met the girl of my dreams.
00:18:17What other powers did my new best friend possess?
00:18:20He brought the all-around game, and the Saint played the rim well with eight rebounds and 24 points last night.
00:18:26The key thing is, he can't carry the whole load.
00:18:29But he does promise to give a million dollars to the Jump Higher charity for underprivileged kids.
00:18:33So stay tuned, because Billy is back here on Tuesday in the house the Saint built for game two of the finals.
00:18:43Holy shit.
00:18:49Oh, 100 percent.
00:18:53I got 18 texts so far, five of them confirmed without a doubt.
00:18:58Can you bitches please bounce that ball a little softer?
00:19:02Trust me, guys. It's the Saints.
00:19:07I don't know, guys.
00:19:08As much as I loved last night, I'm thinking I'm going to go to the store today and get a new number.
00:19:13Are you nuts? You struck gold.
00:19:15Yeah, Pazman speaks the truth.
00:19:17Score with this Nikki chick and take advantage of the access.
00:19:20Sure, until I get caught.
00:19:22Why, you think the Saints get these messages too?
00:19:24Nah, it's got to be an old number.
00:19:27I'm getting texts from girls wondering why he's not responding.
00:19:31Oh, you're not responding?
00:19:34I'd say what?
00:19:36Guys, it turns out that my childhood hero isn't just secretly a major player.
00:19:40He is fucking Caligula.
00:19:42That's crazy, yo.
00:19:43With that primo supermodel ass waiting at home, I'd be ordering take-in every night.
00:19:47Dude, you have to respond to these texts and keep it going.
00:19:50Hey, what else has come in?
00:19:52Well, let's see here.
00:19:56Aside from the nasty sexting and the multiple titty shots,
00:20:00you just got a text from a car dealer offering to let him test drive the new Bentley for a month.
00:20:06No obligations.
00:20:07And I suppose the Saint could, I don't know, send over an assistant to pick up the car?
00:20:12No fucking way.
00:20:15Yeah!
00:20:26A black man driving a Bentley? I am going to speed limit.
00:20:38It's a thing of beauty.
00:20:39You are not lying.
00:20:41It's so easy.
00:20:42They just hand me the keys and say, say hi to the Saint.
00:20:46All right, we need some ground rules.
00:20:49Gold fold rule number one, we only take what's coming to us.
00:20:53Gold fold rule number two, we can imply that we know him,
00:20:57but we never use the Saint's name.
00:20:59Not spoken, not in text, nothing.
00:21:02And number three, we don't steal anything.
00:21:05All the offers have to be gratis, no strings attached, just like the car.
00:21:08Got it?
00:21:09Totally.
00:21:11Okay, let's see what this bitch can do.
00:21:35The phone was magic.
00:21:37It was opening doors that my ass could never open on my own.
00:21:40Suddenly, I had a surge of newfound confidence.
00:21:43I was the man.
00:21:45In fact, the phone had become my secret weapon to eradicate the Saint.
00:21:50Three, two, one.
00:21:53Oh!
00:21:55You can't talk shit until you...
00:21:57You know how to play some basketball.
00:21:59You can't talk.
00:22:00If Remus would have played, it would have been crazy.
00:22:02If Remus would have played, it would have been crazy.
00:22:04The founders, founders about as good as the gum on my show.
00:22:08If Remus would have played, we would have won that game.
00:22:10If Remus would have played, we would have won that game.
00:22:13Moses would have split the ocean.
00:22:16That's great. Big smiles, everybody.
00:22:18Thank you so much for having us in your home.
00:22:20Anything for you and the kids, Nikki.
00:22:22And again, I am so sorry that your secret got out there.
00:22:25I've grilled everybody at a charity, but I can't seem to get a culprit.
00:22:29Sports reporters can play dirty,
00:22:31but look on the bright side, it frees me up to do more publicity for you.
00:22:34Big smiles.
00:22:37All right, that's it.
00:22:38So, kids, let's wave goodbye to the saints.
00:22:40Goodbye!
00:22:42Bye, guys.
00:22:45So precious.
00:22:46So cute.
00:22:47Yes, they are the future.
00:22:48Hey, how about we exchange numbers?
00:22:50I have this event later if you want to join.
00:22:53Oh, I... I would, but I have...
00:22:56Kind of.
00:22:58But really, thank you so much.
00:23:00You really are amazing.
00:23:02And I hope you and Deanna have fun tonight.
00:23:06Thanks. Bye.
00:23:07Thanks.
00:23:11Hope you and Deanna have fun tonight. Bye.
00:23:14Look like Paige's little girl's playing hard to get.
00:23:17You can't just go full force like that.
00:23:19You've got to grease her up first.
00:23:21I did. Why the hell do you think I'm doing this charity bullshit?
00:23:24Last I heard, Nikki didn't have a man.
00:23:26I'll find out what changed.
00:23:27Well, do it and do it fast.
00:23:29Five days without a nut is draining my battery.
00:23:31I need... I need...
00:23:34I'm trying.
00:23:35Make something happen,
00:23:37because I need to recharge my mojo.
00:23:40Soon.
00:23:48How's this?
00:23:49You'll be at Jonna's fashion show Friday, right?
00:23:51Unfortunately, why?
00:23:53We use it as cover.
00:23:55When the show starts, Jonna will be on the runway.
00:23:57For the next 30 minutes,
00:23:59you can play out any fantasy you like.
00:24:02I'll reserve a private room in the basement.
00:24:04I've used it before.
00:24:06All right, fine.
00:24:07Give me three girls, Neapolitan style,
00:24:09and make sure they know what they're up for.
00:24:11Circus is coming to town?
00:24:13Goddamn right.
00:24:16We'll have your best caviar with the cabernet
00:24:19while we decide on entrees.
00:24:23I apologize, sir,
00:24:25but we do not offer caviar for complimentary guests.
00:24:28Complimentary.
00:24:30I appreciate the gesture,
00:24:32but I can cover our bill just fine.
00:24:34Ooh.
00:24:38So it must be fun working with your dad and the team, huh?
00:24:42I really just try and focus on my charity.
00:24:44The kids are my team.
00:24:45There's this girl named Rachel,
00:24:46and she just loves basketball.
00:24:48And when she has the ball in her hand, she just...
00:24:51Your phone sure goes off a lot.
00:24:53Sorry. Let me just...
00:24:55Yeah, yeah, sure. Go ahead.
00:25:01Go ahead.
00:25:10Sorry.
00:25:11We owe him.
00:25:12Him!
00:25:17Caviar will be right out.
00:25:22Honestly,
00:25:24I hate caviar.
00:25:26You serious?
00:25:28I'm more of a burger dog kind of girl.
00:25:31I'm sorry if I disappointed you.
00:25:33Are you kidding me?
00:25:34I had no idea how I was gonna choke this crap down.
00:25:39You like dogs?
00:25:40I got the spot.
00:25:42Here it is.
00:25:43Willie!
00:25:44We're out.
00:25:47Put it on my tab.
00:26:08This is incredible.
00:26:10Nikki Paige.
00:26:11New York Knights fans want to know.
00:26:13You love basketball.
00:26:15You hate fancy restaurants.
00:26:17You love Chez Sabre.
00:26:20What's your story?
00:26:21Is this an interview or a date?
00:26:25Can you help out a future sportscaster?
00:26:27All right.
00:26:29Shoot.
00:26:30So, Miss Paige,
00:26:32America wants to know how you got to be so awesome.
00:26:36Oh, no.
00:26:37No, I wouldn't say awesome,
00:26:39but I come from a good family.
00:26:41My dad's a blue-collar guy
00:26:43who worked his tail off to get to where he is,
00:26:45so he's a huge inspiration to me.
00:26:48I try and live up to that.
00:26:50But when it really comes down to it,
00:26:53I'm just a simple girl from Jersey.
00:26:56Wait.
00:26:57You're from Jersey?
00:26:58That's where I live.
00:27:00I thought you said you lived in Tribeca.
00:27:03Well, yeah, now.
00:27:05But that's where I grew up.
00:27:06I didn't know you were Jersey.
00:27:08Yeah.
00:27:09Born and bred.
00:27:10Oh.
00:27:13But, sadly, I don't really get back much.
00:27:17Well, how about a boat ride?
00:27:20I got a hook-up.
00:27:22Nothing like watching the city as you drift away.
00:27:25Works great on dates.
00:27:27Well, since this is a date,
00:27:31I will confirm the effectiveness.
00:27:33Well, you better be careful.
00:27:34This boat thing is a pretty smooth move.
00:27:37I call it the reverse Titanic.
00:27:39Why's that?
00:27:42I'm the king of the city!
00:27:47Do you trust me?
00:28:11You can take a look inside yourself
00:28:20She wants to be free
00:28:29I want to know
00:28:38She wants to be free
00:28:53I keep on waiting for the shoe to drop.
00:28:55Are you sure you don't have a wife
00:28:57or some, like, deep, dark secret?
00:29:01I had a girlfriend.
00:29:03Yeah?
00:29:04But she was certifiable.
00:29:05I'm not talking normal chick crazy.
00:29:07I'm talking...
00:29:10Sorry.
00:29:11Let me rewind that.
00:29:13No, no, I agree.
00:29:14Most chicks are crazy, like, most guys are liars.
00:29:18Liars?
00:29:19It's probably just me,
00:29:20but I seem to have a chemical attraction
00:29:22to guys who are truth-challenged.
00:29:25You don't say.
00:29:27Yeah, I mean, it's not like I go out looking for them,
00:29:30but somehow they find me, or I find them.
00:29:34Or maybe I'm just super gullible.
00:29:38No, I mean it.
00:29:40The last guy, he lied about everything.
00:29:43His job, his car,
00:29:46the fact that he still lives with his mother.
00:29:50Anyways, uh, this is me.
00:29:58Do you, um...
00:30:03want to come out?
00:30:05Uh, I'd love to, but I should go.
00:30:12Good answer.
00:30:18Always on the run
00:30:25Always on the run
00:30:37On the run
00:30:44On the run
00:30:47With that one incredible kiss,
00:30:50I knew she was the one.
00:30:54Ah!
00:30:56Ah!
00:30:58Ah!
00:31:00Mm!
00:31:02Oh, dear.
00:31:04Oh!
00:31:06Oh, dear.
00:31:07Blast!
00:31:09Ah!
00:31:11Ah!
00:31:13Oh, dear.
00:31:14Oh, yeah.
00:31:15Oh, dear.
00:31:16Oh, God, no!
00:31:18Ah!
00:31:19Ah!
00:31:20Ah!
00:31:21Ah!
00:31:22Ah!
00:31:23Ah!
00:31:24Vance Avery?
00:31:25As in the sports commentator?
00:31:27Yeah.
00:31:28I found out he's going to the intimate disguise
00:31:31lingerie fashion show on Friday.
00:31:33I think you should totally go
00:31:34and just see if you can strike up a conversation.
00:31:37Oh, yeah, that sounds good.
00:31:40Your laundry's on the bed.
00:31:42Who's that?
00:31:43Um, the maid comes in on Thursdays.
00:31:47Your room's a pigsty, by the way.
00:31:49Wow.
00:31:50She doesn't hold back, does she?
00:31:52Very judgmental, in fact.
00:31:54Anyway, so I was thinking
00:31:56I would score you some tickets
00:31:59so you can go and meet with him.
00:32:01No, no, no, don't worry about it.
00:32:03I got a hookup.
00:32:04You want chocolate chip pancakes?
00:32:06She cooks, too?
00:32:07Premium service.
00:32:08I should probably tend to the help.
00:32:11Enjoy the game tonight.
00:32:13I'll look out for you.
00:32:14Bye.
00:32:15Bye.
00:32:18Whew.
00:32:21What?
00:32:22♪♪
00:32:25It's true.
00:32:26They just didn't have an answer
00:32:27for Philly's newfound defense.
00:32:29Tyson St. James couldn't shake
00:32:30his startling 7.3 for 13 shooting performance.
00:32:34Yes, yes!
00:32:35The 8!
00:32:36Tyson 8 games!
00:32:37Woo! Erectile dysfunction!
00:32:39Get some Viagra, boy.
00:32:41What the hell just happened?
00:32:43The start of a comeback, losers!
00:32:45Yes!
00:32:46Look, there she is.
00:32:48Oh, poor little Debbie Todd.
00:32:50Yeah, it's not funny, G.
00:32:51She got a million bucks riding on this.
00:32:53No sympathy.
00:32:54Did you steal the deal last night?
00:32:56No, didn't feel right.
00:32:58Oh, G.
00:32:59Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
00:33:00You smell something stinky?
00:33:02Oh, yeah, that's some stink, all right.
00:33:04You guys, I'm serious.
00:33:05I sold her a total bill of goods last night.
00:33:07We got to find me some bank from this phone, and quick.
00:33:10She's gonna realize I'm not all I said I was.
00:33:13Or you could just tell her the truth.
00:33:15That's not an option.
00:33:16So does that mean we're going to a lingerie show
00:33:18to meet that producer?
00:33:19I'm texting around to find a way in.
00:33:21Uh, yeah.
00:33:23Hold up, hold up, hold up.
00:33:24What about gold phone rule number one?
00:33:26Only take what comes to us.
00:33:28Boo!
00:33:29I want my lingerie.
00:33:31You know, that sounds gay, right?
00:33:33Sometimes rules gotta get broken.
00:33:38Scar, I'm dying.
00:33:42We all are, honey.
00:33:44I've got the girls lined up for tomorrow night.
00:33:47Come on.
00:33:48The most waiting.
00:33:55Son of a...
00:34:02Red R plus two.
00:34:04It's out of here, man.
00:34:05Sorry.
00:34:06Back in a line.
00:34:07My guy likes to keep it on the DL.
00:34:09It was a rough game for him last night, huh?
00:34:11Oh, you ain't lying.
00:34:12You ain't lying.
00:34:13Hey, hey, man.
00:34:14It's all cool if you want to text the saint,
00:34:16make sure we're legit.
00:34:17I'll tell you what, chill here.
00:34:18Let me check things out, all right?
00:34:20You never got on the list, did you?
00:34:22And you just broke gold phone rule number two.
00:34:24Yeah, yeah.
00:34:25Just get ready to run if my plan fails.
00:34:29I'm betting he still has the saint's old phone number.
00:34:32You called out of play?
00:34:39Oh, bro, I gotta remember that.
00:34:41Easy, Jersey Shore.
00:34:45Oh, show.
00:34:46I mean, who are we, boys in the hood?
00:34:47I'm pulling the shoe.
00:34:48I'm out.
00:34:49Oh, no.
00:34:50Guys, come on, come on.
00:34:51Whoa.
00:34:52Well, looks like him, fellas.
00:34:54Let him in, let him in.
00:34:55Sorry about that.
00:34:57Name's Roddy.
00:34:58Roddy.
00:34:59Have a good time, fellas.
00:35:00Ride or play, boy?
00:35:02Nah, nah, nah, nah.
00:35:04Watching you all night, kid.
00:35:12Yo, this is all the home.
00:35:14And they're serving appletinis.
00:35:16Appletinis, Fred.
00:35:20Oh, easy, killer.
00:35:22Tasmanian devil stays in his cage.
00:35:25Name the last time he came out.
00:35:27Oz.
00:35:28Sure.
00:35:29Throw that in my face.
00:35:37Thank you, sweetheart.
00:35:38Could you do me a favor?
00:35:40Could you bring my wife another drink in the back?
00:35:42That girly one she likes.
00:35:44I appreciate that.
00:35:47So, uh, do you model?
00:35:49I do online porn.
00:35:51Oh, I like porn.
00:35:55Keep an eye on the PazMag and the network.
00:36:02Text Saint more than you see.
00:36:10Name any basketball player, any year.
00:36:12Come on, man, what are you doing?
00:36:14Do I look like a game show host?
00:36:16Breaking up ebony and ivory here.
00:36:18Oh, okay, okay.
00:36:19You want to play?
00:36:20All right.
00:36:21How about, uh, Jefferson Whitmore?
00:36:24Boom!
00:36:25Six foot four, 180 pounds, played at Arkansas.
00:36:28First rounder in 81, 12th overall.
00:36:30Three seasons with New York, then he went to Denver.
00:36:33Oh-ho!
00:36:34Well, well, well.
00:36:35You want to close this deal with some PBG stats?
00:36:3727.3.
00:36:39Oh, boom!
00:36:40What do we have here?
00:36:42Van Savory, man, and you are?
00:36:44Brett Reynolds, future sportscaster.
00:36:46You and everybody else, kid.
00:36:50Hey, by the way, Nicki Page says hello.
00:36:54Oh, yeah, how do you know Nicki?
00:36:56We're hanging.
00:36:57Oh, you must talk a good game, huh?
00:36:59Beating out those high profilers chasing that tail?
00:37:02You got a real deal reel?
00:37:04You'd watch my reel.
00:37:05This, don't waste time.
00:37:09Travel.
00:37:23He didn't get it.
00:37:24Did you text his new number?
00:37:26When did he get a new number?
00:37:28Recently.
00:37:29Well, yeah, I guess so.
00:37:40Business calls, ladies.
00:37:42Peace.
00:37:44The phone was granting my every wish.
00:37:47Text by text, my dreams were starting to materialize.
00:37:50What the hell?
00:38:06Mr. Bruce Sullivan!
00:38:12What? What?
00:38:13What a hit like, tell me what a hit like
00:38:15Yeah, I'm talking to you shouting in those skintights
00:38:17♪ Come to my station, I just order about ten low bottles of the Mo-Yongi ♪
00:38:21You're hitting me a jackpot.
00:38:23No way, I got one of my sights.
00:38:24Too bad. Guess who I just saw playing Kinky the Clown?
00:38:27My childhood idol?
00:38:29Oh, Scooby-Doo.
00:38:30What? No.
00:38:32The same tweet. He's here.
00:38:34Man, I want to meet him.
00:38:35Yeah, next time. Hey, G, come on. We're out.
00:38:37Are you loco? I am making star with the porn stars.
00:38:39You guys don't understand.
00:38:41So soon?
00:38:43That punk walked in on me.
00:38:44Oh, no.
00:38:46He's talking to the bouncer.
00:38:48You mean that dude standing next to your boy?
00:38:49My what?
00:38:50Your boy. Your boy Brett.
00:38:51Look, I don't know that motherfucker. Bring it in.
00:38:54Roddy, you watch the door.
00:38:55Me and Scar, we'll flush him out.
00:38:57Fuck him up on three.
00:38:58One, two, three.
00:38:59Fuck him up!
00:39:05Incoming.
00:39:07Tiffany, time to go.
00:39:09I'll check out your work.
00:39:10Yeah, me too.
00:39:16What the fuck are you doing?
00:39:18I don't know.
00:39:19Sorry, man.
00:39:23Come here.
00:39:24Come on.
00:39:26Oh, please.
00:39:27Come on.
00:39:28Come on.
00:39:31Diana!
00:39:32I love you.
00:39:33I'm gonna kill you.
00:39:35Come on.
00:39:41I can die now.
00:39:42I had a dream about this once.
00:39:45I love my phone.
00:39:49Again.
00:39:51Marry me.
00:39:53Sorry, guys. We gotta go.
00:39:55Hi, Gary Brown.
00:39:56Hey, Gary.
00:40:09Easy, easy. We got eyes.
00:40:11Take me back to those girls.
00:40:12Too late. John is wrapped.
00:40:14How did they get in there, Scar?
00:40:15Wait a minute. Let me see your phone.
00:40:20He's got your old number.
00:40:25Yeah!
00:40:30Now!
00:40:31Now!
00:40:32I just want some pussy!
00:40:34Yeah!
00:40:37I don't know, dog.
00:40:38It's been a fun ride, but it may be time to...
00:40:40Hang it up?
00:40:41So to speak.
00:40:42You mean give it back?
00:40:43Guys, you can't be serious.
00:40:44Things are finally starting to go my way.
00:40:46I just had a potential career breakthrough.
00:40:48Things are really happening with Nikki.
00:40:50But you're lying to her
00:40:51because she thinks you're Mr. Moneybags.
00:40:53Wasn't it you two telling me I need to fake it
00:40:55until I make it?
00:40:56Well, guess what? It worked.
00:40:57And I'm not lying if I can actually get this job
00:41:00and become this guy.
00:41:01Help us out, Omri.
00:41:02Should I keep using this phone?
00:41:04Only the phone knows when it's time to disconnect.
00:41:08Yeah, thanks. Useful as always.
00:41:11Hey, oui, monsieur, you will get laid this weekend.
00:41:14Oh, that's good.
00:41:15But you will win the lotto.
00:41:19What? No.
00:41:20No, right.
00:41:22Thanks, Omri.
00:41:23Not giving up my phone.
00:41:25I had become addicted to the phone's power
00:41:28like a junkie looking for a fix.
00:41:31Oh!
00:41:33Just scored a Tribeca loft.
00:41:35I was hooked.
00:41:41Looks like the saint is going to hell.
00:41:44I just want some pussy!
00:41:46Okay, send me everything you have on him.
00:41:48His name is Brett Reynolds.
00:41:50Where does this guy live?
00:41:51He lived on East 31st Street
00:41:53up until he got your number, then vanished.
00:41:55Sneaky son of a bitch!
00:41:57Numbers usually have a waiting period before re-release,
00:42:00but since we had to backdate yours by six months...
00:42:02Goddamn it, do you realize the type of text
00:42:05that came into that number on a daily basis?
00:42:08This guy could destroy my image, my marriage.
00:42:11This could cost me my Under Armour endorsement.
00:42:13Which is why we lay low until the finals are over.
00:42:17Agreed?
00:42:18You mean no sex?
00:42:20For all we know, this guy poisoned any number of contacts.
00:42:23We can't trust anyone.
00:42:25Let's just lay low until my guy pulls the phone logs,
00:42:29and then we'll decide on a plan of attack.
00:42:31For Scar, how am I supposed to play
00:42:34tomorrow night's game with no sex?
00:42:38Don't even think about it.
00:42:40Come on, Scar, I mean, this is business.
00:42:42Don't be stingy. I'm desperate.
00:42:44Honey, unless you grew tips in a vajayjay overnight,
00:42:48it ain't happening.
00:42:57Saints started off better tonight,
00:42:59but the magic, she would not last.
00:43:01With New York down by 24 in the closing minutes,
00:43:03it was Coach B who waved the white flag
00:43:05and took the Saints out of the game.
00:43:07Just a shocking, shocking game five.
00:43:09Put a fork in it, they're done.
00:43:11Lights out on the night.
00:43:12Turn it off, just turn it off.
00:43:16Well, you were gonna miss a game down in Philly.
00:43:18That was the one.
00:43:20Well, it's a lot more civilized here
00:43:22than dealing with all those crazy fans at night.
00:43:29I don't know what I'm gonna do.
00:43:31What do you mean?
00:43:32Well, let's just say if we don't win the finals,
00:43:34my charity's in some serious trouble.
00:43:36I had no idea. Sorry.
00:43:38No, no, it's not your fault.
00:43:41And, well, at least that really cute couple
00:43:44got engaged on the Jumbotron.
00:43:47Are you serious?
00:43:49That's how my dad proposed, and they're still going strong.
00:43:52Yeah, the fact that he owns the team
00:43:54probably helps with that a little bit.
00:43:56You are such a wise guy.
00:43:59I happen to think Jumbotron professions of love
00:44:02are the most romantic gestures in the entire world.
00:44:06Ooh.
00:44:08What's that?
00:44:09Sorry, never stops.
00:44:12Ugh!
00:44:17And what's that?
00:44:21That was the night I officially lost the stink.
00:44:26And someone else was developing a bad case.
00:44:33God damn it, girl, would you put some fucking clothes on?
00:44:36Unless you plan on giving me some love.
00:44:39My heart's still not dressed, amore.
00:44:47And you don't look so hot.
00:44:49But you do, sweetheart. Come here.
00:44:52Icky, take a shower.
00:44:55And I go tan by pool.
00:44:59Nude.
00:45:03We ain't had a ratio.
00:45:05We ain't invited to the pool party.
00:45:10What did you find out?
00:45:12My guy hacked into the phone.
00:45:14This kid Reynolds is either an idiot savant
00:45:16or just a colossal idiot.
00:45:18He's been hitting the scene all over town
00:45:20by pretending to be you.
00:45:22That piece of shit.
00:45:24Now, baby, baby, I want you to keep calm,
00:45:26but it's my job to tell you.
00:45:28You'll never believe which team owner's daughter he's dating.
00:45:38Hey, man, I have to admit, it's a killer reel.
00:45:40You got skills.
00:45:41So give me a job.
00:45:42Reynolds, do you have any idea
00:45:44how many sportscaster wannabes there are out there?
00:45:46Yeah, but how many have the balls to come up to you cold like that?
00:45:49Okay, there's no doubt you got some nuts.
00:45:51Hi, Vance.
00:45:52Oh, I know that sultry sound.
00:45:55I know that sultry sound.
00:45:56You tell Donnie Nicky I said hello.
00:45:59Okay, listen, I'm getting ready to cash a nice big bonus,
00:46:02which means I'm going to take a little vacay next week.
00:46:04When I get back, I want to get this new show in development,
00:46:07which means I'm looking for younger anchors
00:46:09who really know their stuff
00:46:10but got the looks to lasso the ladies.
00:46:13I'm your guy.
00:46:14Easy, stallion.
00:46:15I got to kick the tires first, okay?
00:46:17Make sure you and I are simpatico.
00:46:19So, uh, how about a night out on the town?
00:46:22Fine by me.
00:46:23Let me take you out. I'll pick the place.
00:46:25Done.
00:46:26And Reynolds, make it good.
00:46:30So, how'd that go, my sexy sportscaster man?
00:46:34You know, baby, for the first time in my life,
00:46:38everything's falling into place.
00:46:41Anyone with half a brain would have figured out something was fishy,
00:46:44but not me.
00:46:46Oh, perfect timing.
00:46:49He took the bait.
00:46:51The phone was officially in control.
00:46:54Always a pleasure doing business for you fine folks.
00:46:57Double D, when you arrive here with that motherfucker and his friends,
00:47:01bring them to VIP.
00:47:04Brett Reynolds has no idea the kind of pain he's about to feel.
00:47:11Ouch.
00:47:12There was no coming back from this one as Game 6 comes to a close.
00:47:16Could you imagine at the start of these finals
00:47:18that it would go to Game 7
00:47:19and that tonight the Saint would have by far his worst performance
00:47:22made even worse by challenging the coach on the sidelines?
00:47:26What we are watching here tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
00:47:28are the sins of the Saint.
00:47:31Woo, I smell a meltdown.
00:47:33We'll take care of this guy tonight
00:47:35and get you back on track for Game 7.
00:47:38Scar, I could give two fucks and a slice of cheese
00:47:42about the finals right now.
00:47:44All I care about is taking down Brett Reynolds.
00:47:48Brett Reynolds?
00:47:51Nikki, hey.
00:47:52What are you doing here?
00:47:54Well, I was worried about you,
00:47:56and I have a charity at stake.
00:47:59How do you know Brett?
00:48:04Rain Man, Rain Man,
00:48:06Do I play my cards right?
00:48:08Rain Man, I call you a pencil.
00:48:12Brett R plus 2 VIP.
00:48:14Brett!
00:48:15It's me, Jules!
00:48:17Excuse me, excuse me.
00:48:19How the hell are you guys at Tinkerton?
00:48:21Miss, get back in line.
00:48:23Chili's my boyfriend.
00:48:24Boyfriend?
00:48:25We never had to talk.
00:48:27I've never seen her before in my life.
00:48:29Miss, this is VIP only.
00:48:30They're not VIPs.
00:48:31They're on my list, and you most definitely are not.
00:48:33Now get back in line, or I'm gonna get ugly.
00:48:37Boom.
00:48:38Oh, no.
00:48:43Do I play my cards right?
00:48:45Rain Man.
00:49:16Hey, don't stop.
00:49:17Let's go.
00:49:18Body rock and roll.
00:49:20And just move.
00:49:21Control until you can't no more.
00:49:34Credit card.
00:49:35Click on the Saints tab.
00:49:36Text them to confirm.
00:49:41What?
00:49:42Dude, we just broke gold phone rule number three.
00:49:44Yeah, it's like five hundo a bottle.
00:49:45That's like full-on thievery, bro.
00:49:47Guys, the Saint is a total dirtbag and a rich one.
00:49:50He can afford it.
00:49:51That's not the point.
00:49:52Well, now's not the time to discuss.
00:49:53Uh, actually, it is.
00:49:55Whoa!
00:49:56Nice hookup, Reynolds.
00:49:58Oh, I love hearts.
00:50:00Hey, what's up, what's up, what's up?
00:50:02I'll be right with you guys.
00:50:03Got to finish this phone call with my broker in China.
00:50:05Huh?
00:50:06No, ni fucking how?
00:50:08Guys, Vance is my ticket in.
00:50:09I'm trying to get a job here.
00:50:11So either you get on board with that,
00:50:12or you go fuck yourselves.
00:50:13Go fuck ourselves?
00:50:14Yeah, that's right.
00:50:15Do you really think I would be here if I could do that?
00:50:17Wow, the Saint's not the only one
00:50:19who turned up to be a real douchebag.
00:50:20Oh, this coming from the guy
00:50:22who turned this phone into his own private brothel.
00:50:24That means a lot.
00:50:25All right, we're having an intervention.
00:50:26Hand over the phone, Mr. Hyde.
00:50:27Don't even think about it.
00:50:28Yeah, give him the phone
00:50:29before your douchebag transformation is complete.
00:50:31Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:50:32Everything copacetic there?
00:50:34Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're all just, uh,
00:50:36insisting to pick up the check.
00:50:38Well, well, well, look who's arrived.
00:50:40Darling Nikki, how are you?
00:50:42Oh, good, hi.
00:50:43You look wonderful.
00:50:45Hey, sorry about the game.
00:50:47Oh, it's amazing how quickly things just fall apart, isn't it?
00:50:51Guys, can you excuse us?
00:50:53Oh, yeah, yeah, no problem.
00:50:58Nikki, I like you a lot.
00:51:01In fact, sometimes guys do stupid things
00:51:03because we like someone so much.
00:51:05Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:51:07You don't have to make excuses for all my old boyfriends.
00:51:10You are so much better than all of them combined.
00:51:13Oh, another text.
00:51:16You are just so popular.
00:51:20Aren't you going to answer it?
00:51:21I'll check it later.
00:51:22Oh, no, no, no, I insist.
00:51:24It can wait. I need to tell you something.
00:51:26Check it!
00:51:32Uh, Brett.
00:51:33Not now, G.
00:51:35Hey, Brett.
00:51:36I said not now.
00:51:38I think he knows.
00:51:40Brett Reynolds.
00:51:42Let's rap.
00:51:48You actually thought that you could use my old number
00:51:52and pretend to be me for your own personal gain.
00:51:56You're a moron!
00:51:59Scott, read him the tally.
00:52:01Oz, 2 Gs.
00:52:03York House gratis bag, 11 Gs.
00:52:05Multiple shopping excursion, 17 Gs.
00:52:08Bentley rental, 40 Gs.
00:52:10Tribeca penthouse for six months, 80 Gs
00:52:12for a total of $150,000.
00:52:16That's some shit with this bank, nigga.
00:52:18Okay, hold on.
00:52:21Look, I may have bent the truth a bit
00:52:25pretending to know you,
00:52:26but all of this stuff was offered for free.
00:52:28For me!
00:52:29Not for some loser and his two fucking stooges.
00:52:34Game's over, Reynolds.
00:52:35If I were you, I'd get good at flipping burgers.
00:52:38Now, Vance, come on, I can explain.
00:52:42Who are you?
00:52:44Nikki, I...
00:52:47Wait, Nikki.
00:52:48I want to give you the million-dollar check, win or lose.
00:52:51How about we meet before the game, in private?
00:52:55Yeah, my dad's office, 7 o'clock.
00:52:59Perfect.
00:53:00See you there.
00:53:01You know what?
00:53:02You really are a saint.
00:53:04Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
00:53:06This guy is a total dog.
00:53:08I can prove it.
00:53:09You want to see some of the text messages
00:53:11that come into his phone?
00:53:12Don't you mean your phone?
00:53:14You are the only girl in my life.
00:53:16I promise you know everything now.
00:53:18Brett!
00:53:19Brett!
00:53:20I saw you come in here.
00:53:21Who are you?
00:53:22I'm Jewel, his girlfriend.
00:53:23Who are you?
00:53:25I am so out of here!
00:53:27She isn't!
00:53:28She is not my girlfriend!
00:53:29You are such a loser!
00:53:32Ugh.
00:53:33So you guys aren't fit, are you?
00:53:36Thought so.
00:53:38Totally a fan.
00:53:49And that's when my buddies and I got that serious ass-whooping.
00:53:54You know how I got my name, Brett?
00:53:57I have divine powers.
00:53:59I'm a walking miracle.
00:54:01I was meant to be worshipped.
00:54:03And you try and take that away from me?
00:54:06You will live and die a mere mortal.
00:54:10You are nothing!
00:54:12Get rid of that number.
00:54:14Tomorrow.
00:54:15Or next time, you won't be able to tell which of your friends are which.
00:54:19That's messed up.
00:54:20Because I'm white and he's black.
00:54:22Yeah.
00:54:23Boy wonder.
00:54:24We got it.
00:54:25Oh.
00:54:26Just so you know.
00:54:29I'm gonna win game seven tomorrow.
00:54:32Right after I bang out your little girlfriend, Miss Paige.
00:54:37On her daddy's desk.
00:54:41I haven't been this beat up since my Aunt Fifi's bridal shower.
00:54:44Guys, I'm gonna make this right.
00:54:45The ride's over, Brett.
00:54:46Yeah, you're on your own, pal.
00:54:48Now, fellas!
00:54:51Come on!
00:54:58Well, you screwed up good this time.
00:55:20I don't know what to do, Ma.
00:55:22Honey, I love you.
00:55:24But it's time that you became a man.
00:55:26Figure it out.
00:55:27And don't come home until you do.
00:55:29Ma!
00:55:57No!
00:56:02What the...
00:56:04No!
00:56:06Stink!
00:56:08Stay away from me!
00:56:09Come on, Stallone!
00:56:12The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh,
00:56:14and apparently he Indian giveth too,
00:56:16cause the stink was back.
00:56:18And in a bad way.
00:56:22Hey, bonjour, monsieur.
00:56:24Cheaty day, eh?
00:56:25This damn phone, Henri.
00:56:27It's ruined everything.
00:56:28My shit is stuck,
00:56:30and I don't know how to fix it.
00:56:32How about a dog to ameliorate the soul?
00:56:40So tell me, Henri,
00:56:41what do I do with this phone now?
00:56:43Ah, for this save a simple solution.
00:56:46Following your instincts will not do,
00:56:48but shadows always understand.
00:56:51What?
00:56:52Shadows may, but I don't.
00:56:54What are you talking about?
00:56:55Eh, listen to the whispers of the grass.
00:56:58It shall lead the way.
00:57:01The whispers of the grass?
00:57:02Come on, man, are you kidding me?
00:57:04I am lost here.
00:57:05I need some help.
00:57:08What do you fucking want from me, kid?
00:57:10Whoa, Henri, your accent.
00:57:12Look, kid, it's actually Henry, okay?
00:57:14Henry Sosnowitz from the Bronx.
00:57:17The Bronx?
00:57:18Yeah, the Bronx.
00:57:20Let me give you the straight poop.
00:57:21Everybody lies to get an edge up.
00:57:23This whole French bit was my wife's idea.
00:57:26When I first staked out this park some ten-odd years ago,
00:57:29there was five other carts.
00:57:31We was all fighting for our lives.
00:57:33So I had to come up with something to differentiate.
00:57:36Seemed like a good enough idea,
00:57:37and it began to work,
00:57:39so I ran with it.
00:57:41Wow.
00:57:42Feel like I just saw Santa Claus
00:57:44banging the tooth fairy.
00:57:46Sorry to disappoint you,
00:57:48but hey,
00:57:49I still make a mean dog, no?
00:57:52And at the end of the day,
00:57:54that's what really counts.
00:57:56Yeah.
00:57:57Yeah.
00:57:58So, um, by the way,
00:58:00a little short on scratch today.
00:58:02Is it all right if I just pay him?
00:58:04What do I look like, Meals on Wheels?
00:58:05Get the fuck out of here.
00:58:10Hey!
00:58:11Hey, kid, some advice from the Bronx?
00:58:14When you're shit-stuck, call a plumber.
00:58:18Henry!
00:58:20You are a fucking Yoda genius!
00:58:23I love you, dog!
00:58:25I love you, dog!
00:58:31See you tomorrow, monsieur!
00:58:38I see you called from the old digits.
00:58:40That mean you're alive?
00:58:41Barely.
00:58:42Hold on, I'm in a conference in G.
00:58:44Brady boy, you still breathing?
00:58:47I got Pazzy on the line, too.
00:58:49What up, G?
00:58:50Paz-man.
00:58:51Look, fellas, I totally understand
00:58:53if you're done with me,
00:58:54but I need your help right now more than ever.
00:58:56If you choose to tell me to fuck off, I get it,
00:58:59but I am down on my knees, boys.
00:59:01You know that sounds gay, right?
00:59:03I think we all can agree that nobody here is blameless.
00:59:06Yeah, because you may have been the monster,
00:59:08but G and I Frankenstein that shit.
00:59:10Oh, you guys rock.
00:59:12So I suppose you want us to help stop the saint
00:59:14from banging Nikki tonight.
00:59:15That's kind of a top priority.
00:59:17Well, we're here to help.
00:59:18Good. Paz, I need you to go to my mom's place
00:59:20and get me a change of clothes.
00:59:22You got it, bro.
00:59:23Oh, and my old flip phone.
00:59:24I have an idea.
00:59:25But first, we need to stall the saint.
00:59:27And how do you propose we do that?
00:59:29Call a plumber.
00:59:30The mob may kill you,
00:59:31but the BCM can make your life miserable!
00:59:35White front to back. I'll catch you later.
00:59:38Yo, Joey V, it's Paz, bro.
00:59:40Paz!
00:59:41I hate to hit you up like this,
00:59:43but Breddy and me, we're in a bind.
00:59:45Listen, let me make a couple of phone calls.
00:59:47I'll take care of this. No problemo.
00:59:49Yeah, yeah, I know those guys.
00:59:51Yeah, Paz man introduced me to the Appletini.
00:59:54That guy cracks me up.
00:59:57Yeah, yeah, I got a key to the back gate.
00:59:59No prob.
01:00:00I'll spread the word, I'll meet you there.
01:00:02Yeah, yeah, I know where he lives.
01:00:05Sure, I know his driver.
01:00:07Yeah, I'm happy to help.
01:00:08What do you need?
01:00:09Tell Paz he can count me in.
01:00:11Yeah, I can get him into the game.
01:00:14Damn it, tell him to go to the north entrance.
01:00:17Yeah, I'll hook him up with the AV guy.
01:00:20North entrance?
01:00:21Joey, that's awesome.
01:00:23Yeah, me and Paz owe you a night of Papa Moochies.
01:00:26You the man.
01:00:27All right.
01:00:28Gentlemen, one more call, and it's game time.
01:00:33I got to meet with the boss' daughter,
01:00:37because I'm the same thing.
01:00:43Then you're going to get it all this bad.
01:00:48Let the shitstorm begin.
01:00:53I know you like it when it's dirty, baby.
01:00:55Like it's dirty, baby.
01:00:57What the?
01:01:00And now, for the Coop D'grass.
01:01:11I got to meet with the boss' daughter.
01:01:14I know you like it when it's dirty, baby.
01:01:17Like it's dirty, baby.
01:01:20What the?
01:01:21Hey!
01:01:22And now, for the coup de grace.
01:01:53Whoa! What are you doing?
01:01:54Back it up!
01:01:55No one's going through here!
01:01:57I said back it up!
01:01:59Come on, Jeevesy. Back your ass up.
01:02:01Ronnie fixed your old phone and texted you the files.
01:02:03No problem. Everything else is set up.
01:02:06Come on, come on. Time is wasting. Let's go in.
01:02:09What took you so long?
01:02:10We stalled the Saint long enough to implement a strategy
01:02:13where we could lure Nikki away.
01:02:15Places, everyone.
01:02:22Classic bait-and-switch.
01:02:24So, how do you know the Saint?
01:02:26I don't.
01:02:28My loser ex got into trouble with him,
01:02:31so he was forced to call me
01:02:33and arrange for the Saint and I to meet up.
01:02:36Sounds about right.
01:02:38I was instructed to tell you to keep the lights out
01:02:40and to wait beneath the desk.
01:02:42No one should be able to see you.
01:02:44I'm sorry.
01:02:46I'm sorry.
01:02:48I'm sorry.
01:02:51I told you to wait beneath the desk.
01:02:53No chit-chat.
01:02:55Just get down to business.
01:02:57Oh, and, uh,
01:02:59you might use another girl's name.
01:03:01Just so you know.
01:03:03Whatever you want.
01:03:05Yeah.
01:03:07Saint raced up to Phil Page's office
01:03:10and changed into one of his little kinky get-ups.
01:03:21Conference room screen now!
01:03:25Nikki.
01:03:27Mm-hmm.
01:03:29You bad girl.
01:03:31You knew just what it was going to take
01:03:33to get this million dollars, didn't you?
01:03:37Gotta hurry up, though.
01:03:39Big Daddy got a game.
01:03:41Here, put that on right there.
01:03:43Saint!
01:03:45What's up?
01:03:47What's up?
01:03:50Saint!
01:03:54Now that's a money shot.
01:03:58Who the hell are you?
01:04:00I'm yours.
01:04:02Riddles!
01:04:04I'm gonna kill you!
01:04:06Elevator decoy now!
01:04:10What the fuck is happening in there?
01:04:14Get this fucking shit out of here.
01:04:20Oh!
01:04:22You can keep your money, you creep!
01:04:26No, no, no, no, no!
01:04:28Oh, shit!
01:04:30Oh!
01:04:32Oh!
01:04:36Square.
01:04:40What happened?
01:04:42Trapped where?
01:04:45Trapped where?
01:04:49Forty-five.
01:04:51Got it.
01:04:53Hey!
01:04:55Here you go.
01:04:57Just text the number I gave you.
01:04:59It should work.
01:05:01You guys pull this off.
01:05:03I'm buying.
01:05:05Thanks, Ronnie.
01:05:07Where'd you get the microphone?
01:05:09Hello?
01:05:11I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
01:05:13Amore?
01:05:15Why aren't you dressed for the game?
01:05:17Hey, baby!
01:05:19And who's this pussy?
01:05:21Hi, I'm Jules.
01:05:23Do you happen to have a breath mint by any chance?
01:05:25Marque?
01:05:27Stop it!
01:05:29Gianna, we'll talk about this later, okay?
01:05:31I got a game to go to.
01:05:33Wait, have you started?
01:05:35Sorry, ladies. Only players beyond this point at game time.
01:05:41That player is my husband
01:05:43for five more minutes.
01:05:49Hello, sweetheart.
01:05:51Hi.
01:05:55What's the matter?
01:05:59Uh, just some
01:06:01boy troubles, daddy.
01:06:03Hey.
01:06:05Yeah?
01:06:07You wanna punch it out?
01:06:10Come on. Always used to work.
01:06:12Afraid you can't take me anymore?
01:06:14Come on.
01:06:16All right, all right, all right.
01:06:24Ooh, it's that bad, huh?
01:06:28You wanna talk about it?
01:06:30Why is it that
01:06:32every guy is a lying jerk?
01:06:36Let me have it.
01:06:39Love you, sweetie.
01:06:41I love you, dad.
01:06:43It all comes down to this.
01:06:51Ladies and gentlemen,
01:06:53I'm Brent Reynolds,
01:06:55and welcome to game seven
01:06:57between the New York Knights
01:06:59and the Philadelphia Founders.
01:07:01No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:07:03Oh, shit. Get your hands off.
01:07:05I'm gonna kill you.
01:07:07I'm here tonight,
01:07:09and all of the viewers
01:07:11watching at home,
01:07:13I'm a liar.
01:07:17And I just majorly screwed up
01:07:19with the girl of my dreams.
01:07:21Tyrone.
01:07:23Get that guy off my court.
01:07:25Daddy, daddy, please, please, just stop.
01:07:27Just let him talk.
01:07:29Is that the guy?
01:07:31Nikki Paige, it's true.
01:07:33I only met you
01:07:36when I inadvertently got
01:07:38the Saints' old phone number.
01:07:40I'm gonna kill him!
01:07:42You want to know
01:07:44why I'm not at work today, Saint?
01:07:46Well, now you know.
01:07:48Unless you want a problem
01:07:50with every electrician, plumber,
01:07:52and limo driver in the tri-state area,
01:07:54you're not going nowhere.
01:07:56It all started when my ex,
01:07:58Jules Schachter, dumped me
01:08:00and started texting me pictures
01:08:02like this.
01:08:05Oh, my God!
01:08:07And this one.
01:08:09Yes!
01:08:15That's me.
01:08:17Yeah, yes,
01:08:19she is an awful human being.
01:08:21So I changed my number,
01:08:23and then I realized
01:08:25I had the Saints' old digits,
01:08:27and when the offers started
01:08:29coming in,
01:08:31well, I couldn't say no.
01:08:33So, yes, it's true.
01:08:35I lied about being rich.
01:08:37I'm actually flat broke.
01:08:39I know, I know.
01:08:41I don't blame you.
01:08:43As a result,
01:08:45I betrayed the trust
01:08:47of a woman who I care
01:08:49deeply about.
01:08:51You'll hear from my lawyer.
01:08:53Gianna!
01:08:55Gianna!
01:08:57Okay, everybody, everybody,
01:08:59calm down!
01:09:02Okay, everybody, wait, wait, wait.
01:09:04I have another picture that I can show.
01:09:06All I had to do was hit send,
01:09:08and the picture of Saint and Jules
01:09:10would be splashed all over the world.
01:09:12And as I looked at the fear
01:09:14in the Saints' eyes,
01:09:16I couldn't help but feel
01:09:18that this phone somehow connected us.
01:09:20We both understood its power,
01:09:22and with great power
01:09:24comes a lot of free shit.
01:09:26Ooh!
01:09:28Oh!
01:09:31I'm sorry, sweetheart.
01:09:33All right, all right, all right.
01:09:37Nicky!
01:09:39Nicky!
01:09:41New York City!
01:09:43That is enough!
01:09:45This man is putting
01:09:47everything on the line here.
01:09:49The least we can do
01:09:51is hear him out.
01:09:53Officers.
01:09:55Anything for you, Saint.
01:09:57Thanks, Saint.
01:10:01What I'm trying to say is
01:10:03I'm sorry
01:10:05to everyone that I've knowingly
01:10:07or unknowingly hurt.
01:10:09I will earn back your trust.
01:10:11I'm gonna make up
01:10:13for my mistakes, and I will pay
01:10:15everybody back in full.
01:10:17Even if it means I have to live
01:10:19with my mom until I'm 40.
01:10:21I-I live with my mom.
01:10:23And, Nicky,
01:10:25I just want you to know
01:10:27I am falling in love with you.
01:10:31That was the
01:10:33truth.
01:10:35I'm kind of tied up at the moment.
01:10:37Yeah, don't worry about it.
01:10:39Look, somebody's here for you.
01:10:41Yeah!
01:10:43Yeah!
01:10:45Yeah!
01:10:47Oh, my God!
01:10:49New York City!
01:10:51Yeah!
01:10:53New York City!
01:10:55Yeah!
01:10:57Finally.
01:11:00Oh!
01:11:02Yes! Yes!
01:11:04You're finally a man, Brett!
01:11:06And that girl has a sweet rack.
01:11:08You did good.
01:11:10We should talk.
01:11:20You could have destroyed me
01:11:22out there, why didn't you?
01:11:24You're my hero growing up.
01:11:26Well, too bad I'm not that guy, right?
01:11:28Well, not yet.
01:11:30But I want to become the person
01:11:32that I was pretending to be.
01:11:34Maybe you should try that, too.
01:11:36You want to be a sportscaster, right?
01:11:38Yeah, like that'll ever happen now.
01:11:40I tell you what,
01:11:42after I win this here game,
01:11:44I'll do my first sit-down interview with you. Deal?
01:11:46Uh, yeah!
01:11:48Deal!
01:11:50All right, all right, all right.
01:11:52Game time.
01:11:54Yeah, hey, good luck tonight.
01:11:57Thanks to you.
01:11:59Just to pick me up, I need it right there.
01:12:01Yeah, you know. You know.
01:12:11And that pretty much brings us full circle.
01:12:13The video of me at Game 7 went viral.
01:12:15The Saint granted his first tell-all interview.
01:12:17And here I am now as your co-anchor.
01:12:19Fascinating.
01:12:21Brett Reynolds, folks.
01:12:23One man's journey from stink
01:12:26to in the pink.
01:12:28Speaking of, I bet that ex-girlfriend of yours
01:12:30is kicking herself right about now, huh?
01:12:32Well, as a matter of fact, she keeps calling me.
01:12:34Might have to get myself a new number.
01:12:36Oh, zowie.
01:12:38You heard it here first, folks.
01:12:40And Jules, I'm not doing anything Friday night.
01:12:42No, no, no, come on.
01:12:44Just kidding.
01:12:46I'm also available Saturday.
01:12:48And until tomorrow,
01:12:50I'm Gus Jacobson.
01:12:52And I'm Brett Reynolds.
01:12:54You know, you smell better in advance, too.
01:13:08Clean slate.
01:13:10Bye-bye, Jules. Forever.
01:13:12Yeah, it's convenient she wants you back
01:13:14now that you're famous.
01:13:16Well, I doubt that's gonna happen.
01:13:18Wow, I think it's official, Bretty boy.
01:13:20You have lost the stink.
01:13:23Boom. Let's go.
01:13:29So, what are the new digits, bro?
01:13:31Yeah, what's the lucky number?
01:13:33Huh.
01:13:35I haven't given this out to anyone yet.
01:13:43New York City Man
01:13:49New York City Man
01:13:53Yeah, 2002
01:13:55I was caught
01:13:57stumbling along
01:13:59and there she was standing there
01:14:01and I finally found my home
01:14:03New York City Man
01:14:07New York City
01:14:09Here we go.
01:14:11Ha!
01:14:13Just a shocking,
01:14:15shocking game five.
01:14:17True that. All hats and no cattle.
01:14:19Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining.
01:14:22It's all over the place.
01:14:24One just came through the window.
01:14:30You all right?
01:14:32Need help?
01:14:34Oh, my God. Are you good?
01:14:36No, I don't fuck.
01:14:38Take a shower
01:14:40and I'll be waiting for you
01:14:42by the pool.
01:14:44New.
01:14:46Well, if she's waiting for me, shit, I'm out of here.
01:14:48That was some divine intervention from the saint right there.
01:14:50And then the immortal words of Jay-Z,
01:14:52that shit cray.
01:14:54You actually thought that you could use my old number
01:14:56and did the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:14:58Woo, I smell a meltdown.
01:15:02She doesn't sweat much for a fat girl.
01:15:08Soft sticks, Mark.
01:15:10Next time you give me the regular sticks, all right?
01:15:13And action.
01:15:15I will give you some head.
01:15:17Give you some head from the boy's daughter.
01:15:19Got Nicki in my bed.
01:15:21Oh, she gonna get all my strength.
01:15:23All my strength.
01:15:25Is he the one that went off the script?
01:15:27Yeah.
01:15:29I'm trying to stay on script.
01:15:31He went off the script?
01:15:33He's a veerer.
01:15:35Look.
01:15:37Can we bring that?
01:15:39Where's that fucking kill?
01:15:42I want to know, too.
01:15:44You ain't going nowhere.
01:15:46Hey, I got a little Joe Pesci.
01:15:48You ain't going nowhere.
01:15:50I got the little pizza delivery boy coming at me like that, man.
01:15:52You ain't going nowhere.
01:15:54I'll fuck your little Frankie Bowser ass up.
01:15:56You ain't going nowhere. Let him speak.
01:15:58Oh, yeah.
01:16:00What's wrong with you?
01:16:04Action.
01:16:06How do you know Brett?
01:16:08I used to sell him pot.
01:16:10Let's go.
01:16:41Oh, yeah.
01:16:43Oh, yeah.
01:16:45Oh, yeah.
01:16:47Oh, yeah.
01:16:49Oh, yeah.
01:16:51Oh, yeah.
01:16:53Oh, yeah.
01:16:55Oh, yeah.
01:16:57Oh, yeah.
01:16:59Oh, yeah.
01:17:01Oh, yeah.
01:17:03Oh, yeah.
01:17:05Oh, yeah.
01:17:07Oh, yeah.
01:17:09Oh, yeah.
01:17:11Oh, yeah.
01:17:13Oh, yeah.
01:17:15Oh, yeah.
01:17:17Oh, yeah.
01:17:19Oh, yeah.
01:17:21Oh, yeah.
01:17:23Oh, yeah.
01:17:25Oh, yeah.
01:17:27Oh, yeah.
01:17:29Oh, yeah.
01:17:31Oh, yeah.
01:17:33Oh, yeah.
01:17:35Oh, yeah.
01:17:38A couple of misfits
01:17:40are selling our soul for a buck.
01:17:48Walls leading to the east
01:17:52There was a taste of summer
01:17:54Blowing in the breeze
01:17:56The sun was shining on our feet
01:18:00The ocean air
01:18:02Made it easier to breathe
01:18:04And I was just thinking
01:18:08As you were winking
01:18:12How lucky I am
01:18:14To be alive
01:18:16How funny that
01:18:18I've got you by my side
01:18:20The ebb and flow
01:18:22The highs and lows
01:18:24Make us grow
01:18:26Closer together