00:00I feel like there's this misconception that when you are doing gentle parenting,
00:04authoritative parenting, that your child gets away with a lot of things, there's no discipline,
00:07there's no boundaries, there's nothing that teaches them a certain type of behavior.
00:12Now, there absolutely is, but it has to be developmentally correct. So you can't expect,
00:17as you wouldn't, a six-month-old to be walking. You can't expect a two-year-old to be listening
00:22to every single thing that you're saying. Their brain's not fully functioning. You can't expect
00:27a two-year-old to never have a tantrum. You can't expect a four, five, six, seven-year-old to never
00:30have a tantrum or have big feelings and express those big feelings in what you perceive as maybe
00:35a negative way.
01:05George had already had quite a high sugar morning with the Colin Caterpillar cake. He'd also had
01:13like quite a sugary cereal before his second breakfast. I don't need to justify myself,
01:17but my guy asked for an ice cream and I said, not today. Obviously, he was pretty pissed off
01:24about this. Now, as he's talking and talking, I can feel myself becoming more triggered.
01:30So I was like, now's not a good time for me to speak. I had to obviously get George in the car.
01:35I had to get Ariella in the car. I validated his feelings the entire time. But as I say,
01:39the tone in which he was speaking to me and the way in which he was speaking to me was rude,
01:43was disrespectful, and was not the way I want him to speak to me or to anybody else. But in this
01:48instance, it is all about connection. It is all about just getting him back to his regulated,
01:56logical thinking brain and out of his survival brain. So all I said literally in the car was
02:01when he kept repeating, please can I have one? Please can I have one? I said, not today.
02:04I can see that's making you frustrated and angry. I totally got that and I totally understand.
02:09And then about 15 minutes after we got home, I was feeding Ariella. He was completely regulated.
02:15I was completely regulated. And I thought, now is a good time to have a discussion.
02:20Is that all right if we have a little chat about what happened at the shop?
02:23Mommy's going to talk, all right? And then you can talk about what you want to talk about,
02:26all right? You asked me, mommy, can I have an ice cream? All right? I said, no.
02:32Understandably, you are going to be upset and frustrated that mommy has said no
02:37to you having an ice cream. And I understand that. All right? When mommy says no to something,
02:44you are more than welcome to be frustrated and be upset about that. But what you are not okay to do
02:50is speak to me disrespectfully. It's not kind.
02:52No, to me.
02:59Okay.
03:06That's the end of it, is it? That's all you wanted to share on it?
03:10Did you think the way you were speaking to mommy was okay?
Comments