00:00Ah, Chicagoland.
00:03With its tight-knit, walkable neighborhoods, this is my native habitat, where the front
00:08lawns are about the size of your front room, give or take.
00:12If you want to slaughter the most grandiose of lawns, you've got to venture out into
00:16the suburbs.
00:17Okay, buddy.
00:18I don't know.
00:19Okay, buddy.
00:20Drive like somebody who would drive one of these trucks.
00:24I guess it's against my gentle nature.
00:28Look at this f***ing office park, son.
00:31Yeah, we're entering the zone now.
00:33This was always a f***ing landscape of bleakness here, man.
00:38We finally reach this woodsy enclave in the outer ring of suburban Chicago.
00:43So Willowbrook, I think it was an unincorporated town for a while.
00:46You'll notice there's no sidewalks here.
00:49Yeah, this should all be prairie.
00:51Look at all these f***ing lawns.
00:52Look at this.
00:53It's like a damn golf course.
00:54This looks like it'd be a pain in the ass to mow, man.
00:57That'd be a nice lawn to kill.
00:59Look at it.
01:00How big that thing is.
01:01That thing's enormous, man.
01:03F***ing gigantic.
01:04It's huge.
01:05This is unreal.
01:06Come on, guys.
01:07Try harder.
01:08Just, you can do better.
01:09Just do better.
01:10You know, I'm really disappointed.
01:12This is a nice neighborhood until somebody calls the cops on you.
01:16I don't see anybody with a f***ing native plant lawn.
01:19No, I don't think that's going on out here.
01:24I don't think so.
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